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To think Andy Burnham’s hairstyle is too middle of the road, he’s slightly too short, and should resign immediately after being appointed

321 replies

ChallengerTank · 22/06/2026 15:58

His hairstyle is neither classic or on trend. It’s just very ordinary.

I don’t know how tall he is but I sense he’s a few inches shorter than I’d want for a prime minister.

Given the above, I think it’s everyone’s interests that immediately after being asked to form a government by the King, he gets back in his car, does a three point turn on the Mall, goes back and resigns immediately.

OP posts:
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Blueeyedmale · 24/06/2026 17:28

I think Larry should be prime minister and Burnham should be his deputy

Persephonia1966 · 24/06/2026 17:28

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:22

And still one hasn’t been elected.

Perhaps the people of the NW should ask themselves why that’s the case…

Taking a long hard look at myself in the mirror now
Tssskkk

SerendipityJane · 24/06/2026 17:27

The last PM to be born in the NW of England was David Lloyd George.

Who enjoyed speaking Welsh, if TRIH lads are correct Used it as a superpower.

(Waves at RTB from Brexit days).

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:26

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:24

We have. It's because we are economically disadvantaged in comparison to other potential MPs and are much more unlikely to have mummy and Daddy pulling in favours and sending us to posh private schools like Eton...

Utter rubbish. I credited you, having seen you on here for many, many years, with more sensible views than this one. This is not the basis upon which elections/ party leadership is decided in any of our dysfunctional political parties. But let’s not ruin a fun thread discussing this now.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:24

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:20

And being born in the NW does indeed mean he may as well be an alien in Westminster.

What will he do if the good people of Westminster feel similarly about people “not from round ‘ere” invading their space, as view he endorses from the good people of Make-a-field? Or are people who live in London now allowed such prejudices but if you’re “northern”, it’s fine?

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:24

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:22

And still one hasn’t been elected.

Perhaps the people of the NW should ask themselves why that’s the case…

We have. It's because we are economically disadvantaged in comparison to other potential MPs and are much more unlikely to have mummy and Daddy pulling in favours and sending us to posh private schools like Eton...

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 24/06/2026 17:22

The last PM to be born in the NW of England was David Lloyd George.

Another bloody beardless wonder. Bastard.

(Nice moustache though)

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:22

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:20

Fun fact. (Also a slightly serious point)

The last PM to be born in the NW of England was David Lloyd George.

He was born in 1863. And was PM between 1916 to 1922.

Burnham was born in 1970. That's over a hundred years between the two. When you consider that 10% of the country lives in the northwest and we've had 22 PMs since Lloyd George, that's quite the underrepresentation.

Meanwhile:

7 South East (2 Kent, 1 East Sussex, 2 Surrey and 2 Hampshire)
4 London
4 Midlands (1 Worcestershire, 1 Birmingham, 2 Oxfordshire, 1 Lincolnshire)
3 Scotland (1 Morayshire, 1 Midlothian, 1 Renfrewshire)
2 North East (1 West Yorks, 1 County Durham)
1 Overseas (New York City)

So only the SW, Wales and NI are arguably more underrepresented.

And the over representation of the affluent SE is very very obvious.

So when we cheer for the 'King of The North', joking aside it really has a serious point...

It's not about Burnham being saintly. It's about a massive sense of political underrepresentation that has run through British politics and had a massive significance over the last ten years in particular.

And still one hasn’t been elected.

Perhaps the people of the NW should ask themselves why that’s the case…

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:22

SerendipityJane · 24/06/2026 16:47

Is he the third Gallagher brother ? The modest one ?

Fourth. The third one is known for being a bellend too.

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:20

And being born in the NW does indeed mean he may as well be an alien in Westminster.

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 17:20

Fun fact. (Also a slightly serious point)

The last PM to be born in the NW of England was David Lloyd George.

He was born in 1863. And was PM between 1916 to 1922.

Burnham was born in 1970. That's over a hundred years between the two. When you consider that 10% of the country lives in the northwest and we've had 22 PMs since Lloyd George, that's quite the underrepresentation.

Meanwhile:

7 South East (2 Kent, 1 East Sussex, 2 Surrey and 2 Hampshire)
4 London
4 Midlands (1 Worcestershire, 1 Birmingham, 2 Oxfordshire, 1 Lincolnshire)
3 Scotland (1 Morayshire, 1 Midlothian, 1 Renfrewshire)
2 North East (1 West Yorks, 1 County Durham)
1 Overseas (New York City)

So only the SW, Wales and NI are arguably more underrepresented.

And the over representation of the affluent SE is very very obvious.

So when we cheer for the 'King of The North', joking aside it really has a serious point...

It's not about Burnham being saintly. It's about a massive sense of political underrepresentation that has run through British politics and had a massive significance over the last ten years in particular.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:18

placemats · 24/06/2026 16:30

So sensible and yet, people will actually not believe you and start riots.

Eyebrows and eyelashes flags will replace the St George's flag on lampposts and motorway bridges.

I feel sick even posting this. 😰

The man is an Everton supporter, has a weird bus fetish, has sandals, alien eyebrows, ears that stretch to the moon and little in between them however, now he has our new alien overlords — whom I solemnly salute — controlling his body so I will fight to the death in these riots for the right of these eyebrow aliens to stop any aliens “invading” our country, and the right of the eyebrow aliens to crash our economy to dust. All I need is the slightest twitch from the alien hairs instructing me to do so and I’ll be out on the street with my cricket bat. Just realised I don’t own one, but I’m sure Bezos will help.

I will be even more inclined to riot for our alien overlords if it’s hot outside because these aliens come from a much cooler planet so are understandably furious about our lack of hospitality. I can’t believe we could have allowed this to happen in our society. It’s an outrage and riots are the only appropriate response if the temperature isn’t instantly dropped to 20 degrees tomorrow.

placemats · 24/06/2026 17:14

AInightingale · 24/06/2026 17:03

We've already had a Jim and a Tony and a Liz!

Dave, Maggie, John as well. Crikey

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:10

If he’s feeling very adventurous he could go for Zarniwoop, but I’m not sure he could carry it off.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 17:09

AInightingale · 24/06/2026 17:03

We've already had a Jim and a Tony and a Liz!

Perhaps the eyebrow slugs will file a deed poll to give him a more “out there in space” name.

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz? Or he could be renamed after Prostetnic’s son, Constant Mown?

AInightingale · 24/06/2026 17:03

Andnowshesatoddler · 24/06/2026 16:59

Has anybody mentioned his name is "Andy"?
Surely we need andrewthomulow or something etonesque?
I'm not sure our Andy (in the voice of our cilla) is PM enough.

We've already had a Jim and a Tony and a Liz!

Andnowshesatoddler · 24/06/2026 16:59

Has anybody mentioned his name is "Andy"?
Surely we need andrewthomulow or something etonesque?
I'm not sure our Andy (in the voice of our cilla) is PM enough.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 16:48

5128gap · 24/06/2026 16:33

I'm very embarrassed. I meant eye brows. I'm unsure about the eyelash situation. I don't even know if pair means two if I'm honest. Could eyelashes be like pants, and pair used for the singular?

Oh goodness, I’d not even thought of that. They could be multiplying in full view and using semantics to disguise it so that he can declare to the House “honestly” at PMQs that there will be no more alien eyebrows/ eyelashes, it categorically isn’t an invasion, he was genuine in his brand new anti-immigration stance which he declared to the people of Make-a-field and under no circumstances will he be granting visas permitting any more aliens to join the ones already living on his face.

Sinister.

SerendipityJane · 24/06/2026 16:47

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 16:42

Not a monobrow at least.

Is he the third Gallagher brother ? The modest one ?

placemats · 24/06/2026 16:45

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 16:42

Not a monobrow at least.

Absolutely have to be thankful for small mercies. Brings me back to the glory days of Cameron an Osborne (he had addiction issues poor dear) and their austerity measures. Oh how I miss it.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 16:44

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 16:39

I didn't like to assume the sex of Andy Burnhams parasitic eyebrows.

Edited

Understandable. That kind of thing could get you arrested.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 16:44

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 16:42

Not a monobrow at least.

It must take two of the alien slugs to operate the body.

DrRylandGrace · 24/06/2026 16:43

SerendipityJane · 24/06/2026 16:32

I'm more than happy with politicians - in fact people in general - who are prepared to change their minds when the facts change. Much better than just ploughing on with dogged inisistence.

Here, Andy Burnham is now looking at being PM. A material change in facts that entirely warrants a review of past decisions.

So you are saying we should reconsider whether he is appropriate to be appointed as PM, now that this thread has revealed he is just the host for a parasitic alien species of eyebrow slug?

I wonder if that qualifies as discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. It doesn’t specifically mention planet of origin as a protected characteristic. The Human Rights Act also seems to provide him with no protection, not being a human, so perhaps Charles can indeed just throw Burnham in the tower for appointing himself as a “king” of part of Charles’ kingdom and put Burnham’s head on a spike with impunity.

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 16:42

5128gap · 24/06/2026 16:20

Yes, he has one slightly left of centre and one slightly right.

Not a monobrow at least.

RedToothBrush · 24/06/2026 16:39

placemats · 24/06/2026 16:17

"They". Are Burnham's eyelashes non binary?

Like holey moley all peoples of the universe. Sorry for swearing.

I didn't like to assume the sex of Andy Burnhams parasitic eyebrows.