AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

It seems you really don't think others should have an opinion of their own.

Just because people arent/won't tell you want you want to hear?
That's not being unkind.

A present for what? Doing the bare minimum as a parent I.e taking them to Nando’s and going shopping (your favourite activity). What a difficult life OP, of course you deserve a £400 handbag for doing jack all.

Take this thread as a lesson, grow up, stop discussing your finances with friends, learn the value of a dollar and learn delayed gratification. You don’t need it all, right this moment, save up.” and you will appreciate it more.

I think YABU to have told her, otherwise, sounds like a nice month. Hope the handbag is nice

You didn't get it as a present you asked sorry hinted so your husband bought it because you didn't have the money to buy it yourself,

I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it

Are you running shot/short of handbags or savings, if the latter....

Maybe it was just an observation by your DF and they were just making conversation about it.

In one breath you're telling your friend you'd quite happliy spent £450 going out for food and drinks and in the next you're telling her you got money from your DH for a handbag you wanted as your saving are running low.

Therefore was she commenting more on the fact you were quite happy to spend such an amount in one month going out with friends yet instead of waiting until you had sufficient funds and buying the handbag you hinted and took money from your DH to buy it instead.

Is she exactly like you though? You say her husband is generous with her but maybe she is not able to manipulate him to give more when she has ran out like you can? (which is why she has called you spoilt)

Is she exactly like you?
She doesn't complain about being broke when obviously not.
Does she never cook?
Does she spend over her budget, then hint at her husband she wants more?

my husband and he gave me the money "towards it"

You really are ambiguous with your language OP.

You meant he gave you the money "for" it. Giving money towards something means not giving the whole amount.

Add that to saying you and your DC "treating ourselves" instead of "I treated them", and "I'm broke" and "it wasn't expensive" when it was quite expensive and I don't actually trust a word you say.

You asked if it would be different if it was your mum you were 'hinting' to, my answer was no, you should not be manipulating other people into giving you money for things you don't need when you have wasted your monthly allowance on unnecessary things (like eating out for a week because you won't cook for your own kids).

You told her your business and she commented because that’s what you wanted. She didn’t give the correct reply so now you’re on MN bragging in the hope you get the right reply from someone, anyone.

Maybe that just means you're both spoilt bitches

You made it her business by telling her about it. I think if a good friend told me that she didn’t have enough money to pay for a handbag having spent so much money going out, then getting her DH to pay for it, I would have responded the same as your friend.

So maybe accept that you're both spoilt bitches?

I can assure you there was no manipulation. 'lower myself and perform' - you sound very angry

yet also:

I did not 'need' a handbag. I liked it and I said to my husband I liked it and 'shame I cannot afford it now' and he said I can have it if I really wanted it.

If you wanted it and you'd ran out of money for the month why not just say that, your 'shame I can't afford it now' is 100% performance, as is 'hinting'. I assume if you ask outright you may not get the result you want so you have learned if you perform this little act he will give you what you want.

It is obviously normal in your marriage and something you have to do, which is why you do it. But not all women will see that as something to be proud of.

Absolutely all of this.

Stop talking about money it's crass. My SIL asked me the other day where I got a dress from because she loved it, I told her the name of the shop and said I'd send her a link if she likes. Not once have I asked anyone how much something costs, I don't think it's normal to do so.

The more you post OP the more you do sound spoilt. Fair enough, that's between you and your husband but maybe people around you have had enough of hearing about it.

Does she complain about being broke in the same conversation?

I think you both sound ridiculous and like you're maybe 15. What a silly conversation. Maybe don't talk such specifics since neither of you are handling that well.

Don't overshare. I only share my financial affairs with friends in a similar position to myself, as I do not want to offend.

It's none of my business but..
You all sound pretty annoying