AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

We no longer have a mortgage and my children have a trust fund from my parents
We also have savings for them

I never said I was running out of handbags - people are just making things up now which is hurtful.
I was running short (shot) of money to get the handbag and I did not want to get it from the savings - I think this shows that I am not awful with money.

Amazing she won’t spend any of it then!

and pointless giddy thread, I mean for minimum wage parents spending £500 a month going out is madness, a multi millionaire it’s irrelevant!

What a waste of time!

I was going to say the same thing, but she actually does have it (millions apparently, as shared in a previous thread) and I couldn't decide which was the most important point to make.

No you spend other peoples!

Yeah the spoiled princess gives me the ick,and I’d assume my financial situation is very simpilar to yours. Although I earn much of it myself.m

spoiled princess is so juvenile. I do think you’re very materialistic and focused on money;, which makes me wonder if you’re actually used to money. As those who are fo not talk as you do. Wealth is discreet. You are far from that.

Thank you everyone for your comments

My husband called back - he is actually shocked about some of the responses I told him I got on here. He is happy with our family and how things are. I can continue to be his 'spoilt princess' - definitely not a bitch. He also thinks my friend's comment was a throwaway one as she can hardly comment on my lifestyle considering her own and she is not a judgemental person. He certainly is not leaving me he says.

This very unfit mother is going to do the school run now, sort my kids out and go to the gym later. Therefore I will not respond often but I will check back in as I do not like posters who post and then disappear, that is why I try and answer as much as I can. I spent my day on the laptop today!

And I reject your assertion that I was 'over-reacting' in my comment. You were 'over-reacting' in your response to my post.

And why were you asking the other poster to explain their position? If you think the thread is 'over-focusing' on OP's food choices, why didn't you just let the matter drop? Instead you ask posters to explain their views on the eating out issue and then take the arse when you get a response.

I didn't say you were piling on – I said this thread is a pile on, and over-focusing and over-reacting to OP's food choices is most definitely contributing to that.

We no longer have a mortgage and my children have a trust fund from my parents
We also have savings for them

Yay for you, having money to burn in a col crises. It's non of my business how you spend your money, however, I would love you to consider using independents rather than chain restaurants. That way you can help your local economy experience some of the same luxuries too.

I can’t comment on whether you’re a bitch or not OP but you have certainly been spoilt throughout your life and unfortunately the two words just roll off the tongue easily together - ie calling someone spoilt often has the word bitch after it - I doubt your friend meant the second word.

In fairness to you and your parents it is difficult not to spoil your children when you have as much wealth as they clearly do - (although Bill and Melinda Gates managed it just fine). You are being incredibly tone deaf though. I wonder if this is cultural? If I had to guess I’d say you, and your husband, are 2nd or 3rd generation British and therefore your cultural background has ways of acting that are not typically “British”.

I earn 6 figure salaries (when I’m working) and I still get handbags, shoes, etc repaired rather than replaced. I cook for my family even though meal planning is boring. It’s perfectly normal to buy quality items and look after your belongings. I know you say you have a job but it sounds like you have an incredibly easy life and you never “go without” or even delay gratification. It’s not a great trait and I can see why your friend would call you out on it.

I never said I was running out of handbags - people are just making things up now which is hurtful.
I was running short (shot) of money to get the handbag and I did not want to get it from the savings - I think this shows that I am not awful with money.

I know someone like this that has to mention how much everything costs but she grew up with very little and I think for her it feels like a sign she is doing well. I often think people that need to mention how much everything costs, have something they are trying to prove or an insecurity somewhere.

I dont think spending on a nice bag is an issue at all but the need to mention the price of each item often is a want to prove something. I think ive only ever mentioned how much something costs me if someone has directly asked, otherwise its very odd.

How am I 'overreacting'? I explained a point of view, and said I don't feel particularly strongly about it.

If anyone's 'overreacting' it must be you, to respond like that to such a mild comment - and one where I was explaining what another poster might have meant. I haven't 'piled' on anyone.

What an excessive overreaction. The OP has described one week in her life, and it's irrelevant to what she posted.

It's a pile on and nothing less.

It's more about setting a precedent to young children. Her kids may not grow up to be as well off as she is. They may not have the option of automatically eating out when the person who usually cooks goes away for a week.

So perhaps more about setting the example that just because the usual cook is away for a week, you don't immediately start ordering up take aways and eating out? Rather the normal, adult thing to do in the circumstances is cook for yourself, even if it's not your favourite thing to do.

It's not something I particularly feel strongly about, mind you. Just one of those horses for courses issues.

@NerrSnerr - it was just one of those conversations you have with a very good friend over coffee- 'I am really broke now, cannot go out until payday'. Then we started talking about clothes to wear to another friend's bday, browsing online and saying what we like then the conversation turned to bags and I told her. To be honest, we are very close. We met at the school gate 12 years ago and we are now family friends, our husbands get on very well and we often go out all together etc.

She said to teach her kids TO cook, not HOW to cook.

Eg, that just when the usual cook in the household goes away for a week, this does not mean other adults and the rest of the household should immediately pivot to ordering takeaways/eating out rather than cook themselves simple meals.

You and your friend group sound rather materialistic and are obviously quite “show offy” when it comes to money … it’s it all a bit of keeping up with the Jones’? Why do you all feel the need to tell each other how much things cost? Validation that you all have money or something?