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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

331 replies

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:05

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 22/06/2026 10:22

I have two friends who frequently complain about being short of money in one breath, and then tell me the latest thing they've bought that they could arguably wait for or live without altogether in the next. It's hard not to have an opinion.

With "good" friends I have said things like "you don't even play the guitar! You were telling me how skint you were last week!" (Response was "it's a very good guitar and worth more than I paid for it and besides, I'm going to learn how to play it" 🙄)

I also don't really understand "running short" of handbags.

You don't have to change what you do with your money though, so why does it matter?

Edited for very poor writing.

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:22

@Jammiesdodger - I do not like cooking! I do it when I absolutely have to - but as hubby was away, kids love going out to eat, so we treated ourselves :-)

OP posts:
Lomonald · 22/06/2026 10:22

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:13

@NerrSnerr - it was just one of those conversations you have with a very good friend over coffee- 'I am really broke now, cannot go out until payday'. Then we started talking about clothes to wear to another friend's bday, browsing online and saying what we like then the conversation turned to bags and I told her. To be honest, we are very close. We met at the school gate 12 years ago and we are now family friends, our husbands get on very well and we often go out all together etc.

Well if you are skint because you spent so much money and then bought a bag she has a point doesn't she ? I mean you are still free to ignore her but your bag isn't going to see you through till next pay day is it ?

Bobajobob · 22/06/2026 10:21

Well, she should mind her own business but equally, you shouldn’t tell her your business if you don’t want her commenting on it.

Dweetfidilove · 22/06/2026 10:21

Your spending habits are for you and your husband to decide.
If your husband had a problem, presumably he wouldn't have bought the bag; and so what if he 'spoils you'?
Likewise, this is not the friend to share this information with. You now know she views your spending negatively, so talk about other things.

IllBurnThatBridgeWhenIGetToIt · 22/06/2026 10:21

Imagine comparing about being skint, then giving the person you're complaining to an exact breakdown of money you spent on going out. Then wittering on about having to hint for a new handbag because you're so poor.

What did you expect her to say?

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:20

CurdinHenry · 22/06/2026 10:17

Why on earth did you tell her this information? Yabu to brag about it

Oh definitely not bragging - just conversation. She told me her husband got her a bracelet for her birthday, it was £800 and she hated it. Her words was 'Why would he think I would wear this, it looks awful'. It is just normal for us to talk about these things - we usually go shopping together etc

OP posts:
Lomonald · 22/06/2026 10:19

I suppose if it was just a back and forward conversation she had an opinion that is all, and you can just ignore her.

Jammiesdodger · 22/06/2026 10:19

You didnt cook for a whole week? Why not?

BlackCat14 · 22/06/2026 10:19

I think it’s weird to say she should mind her own business, when you told her. You can’t tell someone something and then get all uppity and want them to mind their own business, just because their reaction isn’t what you wanted.

Sartre · 22/06/2026 10:18

To be fair if you were complaining about being skint then proceeded to tell her you spent so much on going out and takeouts all week because you couldn’t be arsed cooking, I can see why she commented. You offered up the information so can’t really complain that she had an opinion.

paradisecircus · 22/06/2026 10:18

Unless you're financially inconveniencing her (e.g. borrowing money from her and not repaying it) it's none of her business whatsoever.
I have a friend like this - always very ready to offer opinion and judgement on the way I spend / manage money. I just don't talk to her about any of it, and grey rock any comment she makes.

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:17

She is actually in a better position that me. I work and she does not work and still enjoy a very comfortable life. I do not think she is jealous. I think she just thought I should have waited till next month.

OP posts:
CurdinHenry · 22/06/2026 10:17

Why on earth did you tell her this information? Yabu to brag about it

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/06/2026 10:16

NerrSnerr · 22/06/2026 10:08

Just don’t talk to your friend about money. I wonder if it came across as bragging as I don’t know of anyone who would tell me how much they have spent on going out or discuss asking their husbands for money to buy a bag.

Exactly this. Why do you feel the need to tell anyone?

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:16

@Statsquestion1 Yes, that also included going out with my son when DH was away for work. (I did not cook the whole week he was away as he usually does most of the cooking).
That was not savings - just spending money that is left after all bills etc are done.

OP posts:
Arregaithel · 22/06/2026 10:14

@MounjaMum you are spoiled, in a good way, especially if your husband actually takes your "hints"

Your friend sounds jealous.

Going forward, tell her nothing wrt money.

OriginalSkang · 22/06/2026 10:13

She should definitely mind her own business and I definitely wouldn't have said anything, but its probably better to just not discuss financial information with her

Morepositivemum · 22/06/2026 10:13

She could shut up and listen to you giving out about how little you have month on month while seeing where you could actually save money but at some stage people need to face reality too.

Thirteenblackcats · 22/06/2026 10:13

Why are you talking about how much you are spending. You’re making it her business by telling her.

completely classless and trashy, keep your finances private

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:13

@NerrSnerr - it was just one of those conversations you have with a very good friend over coffee- 'I am really broke now, cannot go out until payday'. Then we started talking about clothes to wear to another friend's bday, browsing online and saying what we like then the conversation turned to bags and I told her. To be honest, we are very close. We met at the school gate 12 years ago and we are now family friends, our husbands get on very well and we often go out all together etc.

OP posts:
Nourishinghandcream · 22/06/2026 10:12

If you are going to discuss personal & family finances in so much detail with a non-family member, be prepared for them to disagree with your choices.

Chocolattecoffeecup · 22/06/2026 10:11

It's none of her business what you do but as PPs say why are you telling her? It could sound like you're bragging and have rubbed her up the wrong way.

Statsquestion1 · 22/06/2026 10:11

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:10

Usually out with the girls. I have different groups of friends (university, school mums, gym ) people I have met over the years who have become good friends. It is mainly like meals out, spa, afternoon teas etc.

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I mean if you can afford it I don’t see the issue. How much do you save per month? Do you have DC?

StJulian2023 · 22/06/2026 10:11

Why on earth would you have told her?