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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

331 replies

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:05

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

OP posts:
Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:15

Tortephant · 22/06/2026 11:05

OP, I think you actually need to start growing up and acting as a team with DH.
He pays when together, he cooks, he works. You go out for lunch, tea, spas, takeaways. There really needs to be more balance in your household. You do sound like a spoilt child: I want this handbag.

Your good friend, is a good friend. She is holding you accountable. That's what proper friend do. They step in.

Edited

I work too!!! I do the laundry, shopping, ferrying kids around.

OP posts:
Snoken · 22/06/2026 11:14

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 22/06/2026 11:03

This - WTF's it got to do with her?!

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OP made it her business. She didn't have to share that with her if she didn't want her opinion.

If I had a friend who shared with me that she spend all her money that month on daily manicures, I wouldn't just go silent or say well that's none of my business and then change the topic.

rainraining · 22/06/2026 11:14

Didn't your parents give you 3 million pounds already to avoid inheritance tax? Use that money.

Dontwearmysocks · 22/06/2026 11:14

NewbieSM · 22/06/2026 10:51

Yes, I class eating takeaway for a whole week because you can’t be bothered to cook for your kids, as a frivolous thing. The trade off for being lazy was not having the funds to purchase a handbag (another frivolous thing) yet you managed to wrangle that off your husband too by ‘hinting’ (gross). That’s why the vast majority of posters think you were bragging to your friend and she called you out for being spoilt and you don’t like it.

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Hard agree. Shallow and vacuous.

DressOrSkirt · 22/06/2026 11:14

It doesn't really seem like you want her to mind her own business, as you freely gave her all the information. It seems like you are just mad she had a different opinion that you, which is unreasonable.

It's also very unreasonable to complain about being "broke" (except you're too rich to ever actually be broke lol) and then brag about an expensive handbag your husband bought you. Even if she's in a similar financial position she clearly has more empathy for those who are actually broke.

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:13

@BlueFahrenheit IKR - he was more than happy, I literally said it once - not like I kept saying it for weeks that he HAD to buy it to shut me up.
@Statsquestion1 - he gave me his card to get the bag not to top up what I was short.
@SandyHappy I can assure you there was no manipulation. 'lower myself and perform' - you sound very angry

OP posts:
YourWildAmberSloth · 22/06/2026 11:13

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:13

@NerrSnerr - it was just one of those conversations you have with a very good friend over coffee- 'I am really broke now, cannot go out until payday'. Then we started talking about clothes to wear to another friend's bday, browsing online and saying what we like then the conversation turned to bags and I told her. To be honest, we are very close. We met at the school gate 12 years ago and we are now family friends, our husbands get on very well and we often go out all together etc.

Then under those circumstances, her response seems reasonable. Out of interest, what were you expecting her to say?

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 22/06/2026 11:11

If I had to guess I'd say the OP could be a contender for a show like 'Real Housewives of (somewhere not classy)'.

"Running short of handbags"?
Since when is that a thing?
Then buying one that wasn't expensive, only "£420 and it was on sale" - so of course a real bargain...🙄

Husbands and wives supporting each other, imo, doesn't mean a husband indulging their wife's wish for an expensive new bag after she's "dropped a hint".

But the very worst thing is OP feeding her kids shit food for a week because her DH was away, he always cooks because she hates it. I bet there wasn't a vegetable in sight.

OP, you clearly have a very comfortable lifestyle and almost zero self-awareness.
I obviously don't know you, but from what you've posted I would say your friend's assessment was accurate.

SandyHappy · 22/06/2026 11:11

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:03

I am genuinely wondering why people think that hinting about something is not acceptable?
Would it have been more acceptable if I did it with my mum instead of my husband?

Well if you have plenty of money available to you every month that you can spend as you choose, you shouldn't be blasting through it on unnecessary things, then 'hinting' (begging) other people to buy things for you that you don't even need.

Have some self respect woman.

Lindy2 · 22/06/2026 11:10

Don't discuss your spending and finances with anyone unless you welcome their opinion on it.

If you don't discuss your financial position with her she will have no business to mind out of.

Statsquestion1 · 22/06/2026 11:09

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:03

I am genuinely wondering why people think that hinting about something is not acceptable?
Would it have been more acceptable if I did it with my mum instead of my husband?

How much were you short by? How much do you save each month?

SandyHappy · 22/06/2026 11:09

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:57

@SandyHappy Don't you think you are being a bit harsh?

Maybe, but it actually makes me feel a bit sick that women lower themselves to this.. you have to perform a ritual to get what you want.. it's nothing to be proud of IMO and I sure as hell wouldn't be telling my friends about it, like it's an achievement.

If my very good friend told me this I'd probably tell her to have some more self respect, and stop wasting money on silly things if it means I've got to manipulate my DH into giving me more when I'm 'broke'.

Mumwithagreenhouse · 22/06/2026 11:08

You sound incredibly immature

SylvanMoon · 22/06/2026 11:08

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:56

£420 and it was on sale.

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Whoopie do that it was "on sale"! I suppose you really think this is a reasonable amount to spend on an accessory. Oh, and supposedly you're skint? I don't think you could possibly understand how out of touch you are with how the majority of us are living.

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:07

@NewbieSM - it is weird that you find it icky tbh. I suppose people have different dynamic in their marriage.

OP posts:
Didimum · 22/06/2026 11:06

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:13

@NerrSnerr - it was just one of those conversations you have with a very good friend over coffee- 'I am really broke now, cannot go out until payday'. Then we started talking about clothes to wear to another friend's bday, browsing online and saying what we like then the conversation turned to bags and I told her. To be honest, we are very close. We met at the school gate 12 years ago and we are now family friends, our husbands get on very well and we often go out all together etc.

Don't describe yourself as 'broke' in one breath and then say 'but husband will buy me a handbag' in the next then.

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 11:06

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:03

I am genuinely wondering why people think that hinting about something is not acceptable?
Would it have been more acceptable if I did it with my mum instead of my husband?

Stop sharing your financial affairs with friends who don't want you to have nice things, dear.

ThisOneLife · 22/06/2026 11:06

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:22

@Jammiesdodger - I do not like cooking! I do it when I absolutely have to - but as hubby was away, kids love going out to eat, so we treated ourselves :-)

You come across as a very spoilt “princess” type.

PandorasJam · 22/06/2026 11:05

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:01

@PandorasJam - I can assure you - I always pay for my share and more!
Am not a freeloader. In fact, I often pick the tab for coffees etc, we take turns.

I am glad to hear it.

Still, as other posters have said, it can be grating for people less well-off to hear relatively rich friends casually complain of being "broke" when this is far from the case.

Tortephant · 22/06/2026 11:05

OP, I think you actually need to start growing up and acting as a team with DH.
He pays when together, he cooks, he works. You go out for lunch, tea, spas, takeaways. There really needs to be more balance in your household. You do sound like a spoilt child: I want this handbag.

Your good friend, is a good friend. She is holding you accountable. That's what proper friend do. They step in.

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 11:05

MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 10:56

£420 and it was on sale.

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Don't worry about it.

I've spent far more on a bag. Besides, your DH was happy to pay for it.

Didimum · 22/06/2026 11:05

If you don't want opinions on your finances, stop sharing details about your finances.

Original poster
MounjaMum · 22/06/2026 11:03

I am genuinely wondering why people think that hinting about something is not acceptable?
Would it have been more acceptable if I did it with my mum instead of my husband?

OP posts:
Heylittlesongbird · 22/06/2026 11:03

OP, there is a phrase: Money talks, wealth whispers.

Maybe be more wealth, less money if you don’t want annoying comments.

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 22/06/2026 11:03

Katemax82 · 22/06/2026 10:07

She can mind her own business!!

This - WTF's it got to do with her?!