AIBU to feel hurt by my husband's list of faults?

Make a list of your own. Nail it to the door when you leave.

A decent employee will work at least the hours they are being paid for, so until 5pm. Unless they have a more flexible arrangement with work.

Finishing early occasionally would be ok, but not regularly.

FFS, do you want us to come en masse and sort the twunt out good and proper??

Oh OP, he’s such a horrible person.

Any man that called me thick and stupid is not getting any cleaning or food from me. Listen to me, go find yourself a hobby and bugger off out of the house.

So his apology isn’t even an apology.

What a ghastly excuse for a caring husband. If only he’d left it at ‘I’m sorry’.
I’m sad to say that his behaviour, as you describe it, points very firmly to Control.

He will love you if you cook more, eat differently, be a perfect little 1960’s housewife, who also works, and turns a blind eye to any of his misdeeds.
Be strong, you are worth MUCH more.

You probably won't hear the end of those bloody flowers, either. He'll be like 'see how nice I am to you?? ..and what did I get back?'. Predictable twat.

So he only did it to end the silence, rather than apologise for what he said. Prince among men - leave the bastard

So it was sorry, not sorry, and even that came with a caveat. You are worth so much more than this OP.

Agree with this. This is not the behaviour of a husband. You deserve so much better than to be bullied this way, OP. Please show yourself some respect and don't stand for this.

Oh FFS OP ... the man is a complete and utter arsehole..... he's a self important, bullying, gaslighting, inadequate, pathetic excuse for a man. PLEASE think of yourself and kids and look for a better life. This really is never going to change. It may be difficult at first, but you'll get over it and see what kind of life you should be leading without this piece of dog crap !!!!!

So you know where to shove the flowers then ….

I can't get past the comment that you put the kids before him like it's a negative?! Every parents should put their kids first!

I'd say we'll if you learnt a better wage I'd have time for you, a social life and housework, so when you achieve that I'll consider a life change, until then, i haven't the time or money! Petty I know but I would happily hurt his feelings back lol

He doesn’t actually like you.

I’d tell him to fuck off.

Good luck, OP. Ducks in a row, sounds like you've seen the light!

You don't deserve to live like this.

Just imagine doing sll uou have to do but with 1 less manchild to deal with. Imagine the bliss of not having to listen to that miserable moaning prick everyday. Imagine doing the hoovering. Talking to people just existing without the constant moaning drone of his irritating voice. Do you actually get intimate with this tedious cock lodger? Because I feel I would be slamming shut. Do you really want to live like this for the next 20/30/40 years. I am depressed for you.

That’s the outcome of decades of patriarchy and misogyny generally and individually women being manipulated and gaslit so they no longer trust their own judgement. It’s easy to see from the outside. I still can get caught up in believing my ex’s warped narrative. Living with this kind of thing literally re-wires your brain. Don’t judge.

I wouldn’t bother telling him tbh (lol), he’s clearly not taking in any of your nonsensical waffling. Why bother?

As always, ducks in a row and you’re in a more powerful position to negotiate, discuss, talk it through if need be or indeed just walk away.

Narcissism at its best. There’s a reason they wait until the child is born. They think they have you trapped and can then do what they want. If you’re leaving, don’t tell him. Make your plans get your ducks in a row. Leave while he is at work. . You can leave him a note with a phone number how to contact you to see his children. If you tell him in advance., There’s a very good chance he will say he’s sorry cry crocodile tears beg you to stay. He might not, but I bet he does. He won’t want to lose his verbal punch bag. That’s my experience anyway. And don’t ever think of going back to him when he apologises and says he’ll be better in future. He won’t. He will just be worse. He will want to punish you for leaving in the first place.

"I don't make you feel special because I'm not a miracle worker. There is nothing remarkable about you, except your ability to make my skin crawl."

I'm so sorry that you have having to deal with this. He is bullying you. Arrange to go away for a week with someone and let him pick up the slack. Don't ask him, tell him. Use this time to think about whether or not you want to be with someone who clearly doesn't appreciate you for the next 40 years.