AIBU to feel hurt by my husband's list of faults?

He seems an appalling creature. What did you ever see in him?

It’s control, chipping away at your self esteem until you find yourself feeling useless, unmotivated and general sad and exhausted…
then they start asking why your not wanting sex 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

what you have to learn to except is the disappointment that the person you thought was going to be your forever partner in a family unit is never going to be the person you want him to, metaphorically he’s ‘cooked’… it’s the life you wanted with him that you will grieve not him. Plenty of year to find yourself happiness, once your loving your life without a man in it you won’t let just anyone in they have to be pretty amazing to you willing to invite him into your lovely world 😊 you f you have a daughter you will be showing her exactly how she should expect to be treated

Oh OP this whole situation sounds miserable. Your life will be so much lighter without him.

So they can afford expensive villas but couldn't stretch to a two bed or 3 bed one ?

Bloody hell, I hope you put the flowers visibly in the bin.

FGS Make your own list, or at least respond to his pettiness before you finally get rid of him. The whinging twat.

I've made some responses ( tongue in cheek) to help you. 😛

Don't pay him enough attention.
You are too demanding and want a mother not a wife

Don't make him feel special enough
You want to be mollycoddled instead of helping your wife and family.

Am too soft with the kids.
You never interact with the kids and are a lousy lazy father.

Am too boring.
You bore the pants off me with your constant whinging.

Don't have a social life (came up when he called me an awful wife.
You never help out so we can both have a social life. Not just you.

I said I could be worse and be out drinking every night etc and he said ooh imagine if you had a social life)
You are right.
From now on I will have 2 nights off for a social life.
If you want to join me then arrange a babysitter,
otherwise the jobs yours.

Work too much (both work full time)
I work to much and then take care of the Family. You only work at your job.

Put the kids before him.
I take an interest in my kids and family you just moan about it.

Put work before him.
Do you put me before your work?
No you don't

You are worth so much more than this OP. He hasn’t really apologized he just got bored with the situation.
I’m so sorry you have had to put up with this idiot.

Stop paying him any heed.
You are being abused.
Focus on getting out.
Keep notes of his abuse.

Tell family and friends the truth.
Accept support.

He's bullying you. He won't change sorry means nothing.
I left an abusive controller after 17. The only thing I ever regretted was losing 17 years of my life. That was precious years when I had good health and energy all wasted on being with him. You have so much going for you @Timeforachange2026 think about your self worth and love yourself.x

Don't let the stupid flowers change your mind about leaving/kicking him out. You MUST escape from this nightmare x

Oh dear.…

Please, please, start getting advice and your ducks in a row.

Don’t tell him anything until you have a good situation, clarity, plan etc..

Agree with pp, some time away to get mental clarity would probably help.

Wow…

He sounds awful. Id definitely leave. Hes abusive. I wonder if hes cheating too. Men whi cheat suddenly find lots of faults in their spouse

Well I hope his sister is mature enough to see her brother for the f.wit he is and gave him a gob full. Fancy expecting that you will drop your obligations as an employee because he happens to be around!

it’s an example of how controlling he is over your life. And he doesn’t like that you are obligated to another entity, this time your employer. Your job provides you with financial security separate from him.

personally I believe you need time away from this man. He has you all confused and doubting yourself and that’s not healthy.

what sort of family support can you muster? Have you spoken to anyone in your family as to what you are going through, and does anyone have a safe space you can head away to (take the kids) for a couple of weeks or alternatively can you fund a stay away yourself ?

(Do not use internet banking though, as he will see where you can gone to, perhaps a friend can book it for you and you repay them with a cash withdrawal ?)

Yup. Divorce is soooo hard but sooooooo worth it to get away from this stuff!!

I can not wait for the thread when you tell us you have told him. Then you’ll have a crappy time for a while but let us support you. We will be here. Divorce is hard - but not as hard as living with that!

Then I’ll look forward to your thread when you are on holiday with a good friend, free of his abuse, and you ask us to raise a glass to you, and we will!

He is an arsehole and looking for excuses to be an arsehole and blame you. You do more. Start listing it for him. He does less and clearly wants to do nothing.

Count me in @Timeforachange2026 who the hell does he think he is?

Absolutely fuck that twat off. He is a manipulative, abusive little weasel and it's all a power play. Gives you choices but when you choose, it suddenly becomes the wrong answer?

What kind of saddo life does he have that all he's got to talk to his sister about is whether you should finish work at 5pm on the dot or not?!That's actually embarrassing.

How you don't have a ten foot long 'ick' list of all his faults is utterly beyond me because just by reading about his cringey and awful ways, I think my whole nether region has inverted.

Please get out of this hideous relationship! You will be so much happier!

What a total twat. Of course if you're working 9 to 5 you should work 9 to 5. What is he actually on about?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yes! I'll hold the bastard down. Please leave him OP. Everything you describe is so familiar to me and probably loads of other posters. We all left and you can too.

Nail it to his fucking face more like.

We ride at dawn.

He "takes a nap".. is he a child? Or does he have a particular disease? That sounds very abnormal