AIBU to feel hurt by my husband's list of faults?

The not paying him attention making him feel special is really him saying - not enough sex

This sounds like a version of the script. He’s had his head turned.

Men like the OP's husband make my skin crawl.

They whittle you down until you become a shell of yourself. Parasitic.

I would divorce any man who treated me like this.

Are you for real?

This is a grown man who writes a list like he’s a disgruntled 12 year old school boy and most of it is self indulgent. God, yes he’s needy. Why does this need to be indulged and given merit?

As a marriage ‘therapist’ I would imagine you’d be better employed getting him to grow the fuck up and meet her in the real world where the grown ups live. Rather than putting the blame on an abused, defeated and exhausted young mother for not making him “feel special”.

Marriage therapist ffs 🙄

Yes girl get that bread. Making the world a better place, one day (of enabling abusers) at a time.

Ask him what exactly is 'special' about him. Being an arse dosen't count as special.

He's basically listed everything but sex life. Is this in fact a whinge that you don't cater to his needs but he's too much of a neanderthal to have a proper chat about it. He's having a spiteful dig because his feelings are hurt and he can't articulate himself.

She's probably raking it in telling men that their marital problems are their wives' fault.

I'd say let's make a list of your flaws, and nearly all of them would be a reflection of ehat he wrote. It gives me major ick when some dad's expect to come before THEIR CHILDREN. Wtf.

This sounds very familiar to me and I'd put money on him wanting more sex. But he's a selfish twat and why would you want to have (more?) sex with a twat?

Have you ever considered changing careers?

Give a list of everything wrong with him then tell him the one that is right is that he is going to be an ex husband.

I think I would be tempted to book myself into a hotel for the week / stay with my parents or friends for a week (finances depending). I’d say I feel deeply wounded by what he has said and I need to process it and think about what I want to do about it. If I truly don’t listen and don’t do enough around the house, it won’t be a problem if I am not there for a few days will it.
Then I would spend the week seeing friends and family to get their advice and get a legal appointment to understand my options. I would use the time to consider how I am going to ensure I see the changes I need (e.g. what I will respond when he calls me ‘stupid’. Or, if I decide this is the end, what my next steps will be. After a week of school runs, all house tasks and no babysitter for his social life, he may be in a better frame of mind to hear what I have to say.

It's so obvious when someone has never experienced abuse. It's obvious by how quickly they look over being called "thick" and "stupid", and I can guarantee that's not the only lovely compliments that he gives her. He went on a complete rant to completely assassinate her character, was passive aggressive while shouting at their infant child by referencing her, then became outright aggressive because she didn't take the bait. Yet, you think hearing his side of the story is at all relevant?

There's some couples who would benefit from marriage counselling, and others that are in a toxic marriage and need to separate. This is the latter. No amount of listening to some 'marriage counsellor' can fix an abusive relationship, and especially not the one that you quoted above. It cannot fix an abuser. He needs a psychotherapist. Throwing money around can't fix everything.

He's abusive. You're changing your behaviour because he is making you uncomfortable with who you are. It's not you who needs to change. But he wont change, abusers never do. Don't put up with it.

When you say special time do you mean sex? How could you resist a man whose so bloody needy and unkind?

I'd feel he was a nasty selfish shit & I deserved better.

As your name suggests, it is time for change. I’d be looking for a divorce

I don't thinkyou're listening OP. He is abusive. He calls you names - thick and stupid, criticises everything about you (the way you raise your children, drive, socialise). The truth is he doesn't like you very much. Is this really who/what you want to waste your life on? He sounds like an utter bastard.

So hand him back a list and end it by asking when he's leaving. See a solicitor OP.

WHY ARE YOU APOLOGISING???

He can fuck off, to be honest. If you split up he will have to pick up 50% of child rearing/ parenting, it will give you a chance to have social life and he can find someone he actually likes.

This man is no good. You don't have to put up with him. Read what we are all saying. Why are you staying with him?

That's not about you, especially when I hear the criticism about you being boring. It's about him. You can breathe out. I would take a breather, come back to yourself and just observe for awhile what's really going on. Something or someone else has made him feel not good enough, about himself and his marriage. And unfortunately, you're getting the brunt of it, probably because he feels more comfortable to let it all out with you. If you can find a way to get him to talk about it, do. Otherwise he could very end up believing whoever is fueling this and you're marriage could very well be over

Have you given him your list of faults?

Seriously just split up. This must be the 1000 thread on here where people seem to have absolutely no love or respect for each other. It's so depressing.

Of course I recognise that some people want to work on their marriages, but the advice that counsellor gave was terrible.