AIBU to feel annoyed about my daughter's dads wife for Father's Day ?

What happens for Mother's Day? Does her dad take shopping for yours, or does your spouse take her?

Sounds like you’re a little bit immature & jealous. For a start, she’s your daughter’s step mum. What’s the harm in her taking your daughter? I’d be glad I didn’t have to buy my ex anything.

Oh my gosh this drips in jealousy!! ‘Happy little family’.. I hate to break it to you but they ARE his family now. You are his child’s mother, that’s where it starts and ends. The fact you want to be involved in Father’s Day says it all. Be grateful your child has a mother figure kind and thoughtful enough to ensure your daughter has something to gift her Dad on Father’s Day!

Definitely need to let this one go OP. Who helps your children with their Mother's Day gifts?

So let’s say that she had taken her own child that she’s got with your ex out to buy Father’s Day gifts and left your daughter behind…surely your daughter would be upset by that?

YABU. It’s not your thing to do anymore. I’d be thrilled she’s saved me the bother.

It wouldn’t bother me. I’d be glad I didn’t have to buy something for him

They ARE a family. And hopefully, for the sake of your DD, a happy one. YABVU. You sound very bitter, you need to let that go, again for the sake of your DD.

So basically I’m pushed out and can’t do anything for my daughter to acknowledge her dad?

Her Dad's wife is taking care of that. He let you know your input is not wanted. You don't need to be involved in things your daughter does for her dad.

Aibu to tell him to tell his wife to back off and stop pretending there this happy little family?

Yes, very unreasonable. You may not like it but they are a family, they're not playing at anything. You're the one who needs to back off. You're the one who sounds unhappy.

You can't control your daughter's dad or his wife or how they want to celebrate Father's Day in their home.

You need to get over him op. He's moved on.

I always welcome less work, so let her have Father's Day, birthday and Christmas.

Quite.

Green eyes don't suit the OP.

I don’t see any evidence of that in the OP. It sounds like the OP is telling herself that’s why it is but everything just sounds like normal nice step parenting.

Eh??!? YABU. This is ridiculous.

I would love for my ex husbands new partner to do this for our dds. I hate having to spend money on him but I do it so that our dds have something to give him on Father’s Day/birthday/Christmas

I assume you, your DH and DD aren’t a happy little family either then? Your view on this is really bizarre. He’s told you not to buy presents and you were going to ignore him. Does your DH do Mother’s Day for you?

Sounds like they’re not “pretending” to be a happy family, maybe they actually are one?

You chose to have a baby with someone you weren’t in a proper relationship with, you had to be prepared that there may well be a step mum involved in your child’s life at some point in future.

Yabu, you feel pushed out. This is not about you so stop making g it about you and your feelings, it’s about DD getting her dad a present. They are a family and your DD is part of that family.

I’d be delighted to not have to do it!

I mean it does sound a bit jealous and over invested. And I don’t mean her by the way…

The poor child shouldn't have to be in the middle of this she is being nice it is not her fault you cant handle this this is what happens when people blend families

I do actually understand as it pissed me off the first time my ex's partner did this - but then it was his affair with her that broke our marriage! I

I tolerated it as it's not worth causing an argument, and just persisted in getting stuff from DD and I anyway, and she gave up after a year or two.

I wanted to be part of the gift as I do really appreciate him as a father, and I value having the opportunity to show that. Whatever else he is to anybody else, he will always be the father of my child and so we will always be family in a way.

Bur if he has told you he feels you getting him a gift "breaks boundaires' then that's that really, there is nothing you can do in this one, and it's not worth falling out over, as you daughter's needs will be best served by you maintaining a harmonious relationship wirh him if possible.

Sorry, YABU. Concentrate on your own DH this Father’s Day. Does your ex sort presents for Mother’s Day for you?

Why take her today. Cutting it a bit fine

be grateful that she has a step mum who cares and spends her money

if you really wanted to take her you could and should have done in the last 2/3 weekends or after school etc

not the day before father day

It’s one less thing for you to worry about. I always buy my kids dad’s presents from them and they are 17 and 19! I’m stopping when youngest has finished his A levels.

It’s a rubbish job and a waste of money I could actually be spending on me/ the kids/ bills. If someone else had done it I would have been delighted.

Just let his wife get on with it.

If you were never a couple why does it bother you so much?

His wife IS family to your dd.

You sound controlling and jealous.