AIBU to suggest sharing the home office so the children can split bedrooms?

I'd prioritise kids in their home over workspace. I have the office as I'm at home every day, my wife uses my son's desk - fortunately, he keeps his room immaculate. Any chance that could happen?

I’d probably insist you both need a desk in the office and it needs to be shared space where you have a permanent “home base” for all your wfh stuff.

On the days where only one of you is wfh then whoever is home can use the office. When you’re both wfh you can take turns as to who has the office and who has to set up at the kitchen table or whatever.

That way you both have a “home base” but don’t have to work together in the same room.

For what it’s worth DH and I both wfh on the same day. We don’t have enough room for a home office for either of us, not even a proper desk. He works at the kitchen table and I work in the living room. If our kitchen table was big enough we would both work there.

Where there’s a will there’s a way and I think your DH is being very selfish. We don’t have enough space for our kids to have a room each and I can’t imagine us prioritising a home office over them having their own room if we were fortunate enough to be in that position.

Same as PP id be thinking what doesn’t he want you to see if you were to work together 🤔

YANBU ~ sounds very sensible. He can try and change his wfh days if he doesn't like it.

Exactly what I was going to suggest. (Though personally I'd alternate my use of the desk in DC's bedroom and the office set-up your husband has, just to make the point that my job was just as important as his.)

If your husband doesn't agree this is all more important than making your kids share when they don't have to, he's a right dick.

Have you pointed out the irony that he is refusing to share his space while insisting his children need to??

So your husband is forcing 2 children to share because he doesn’t want to?

If he doesn’t want to share do more days in the office?

This is what we do and it works well - but our child is 9 and happy to watch tv downstairs until I finish work , but it probably won’t work forever. He is at sports camps in school holidays or I am off work so no need to be in his room.

IMO the priority should be the home and making it work for the family's living needs. Working (from a laptop) is secondary.
DH and I both WFH on 2 adjacent desks but try to only both be there on a Friday when we tend to have fewer calls. If we have clashing calls, one of us typically has to move to another room.
I vote for switching your WFH days around if you can.

This. He is not working all the time he is in his office.

Could one of you work in the living room?

Having a desk.in one of your children's rooms is not an option I don't think. That's their space. What happens in the school holidays? Would they be forced to stay out of their room during the day?

As someone who has done WFH with DH, please keep separate offices! We got sooooo sick of each other. Some kind of separation over the day gives a bit of distance and keeps the romance/relationship alive. As soon as one of us started to go to a co-working space instead, the relationship got back to normal again. It's just too much time to spend with your partner

I do think sharing an open plan office with lots of people is different to sharing a small room with 1 other. The sound with merge and dissipate, whereas it is a lot harder to ignore 1 person, particularly on the phone. But also that individual rooms is a priority.

Can you get a laptop and folding desk, or small desk that only just fits the computer? I work from home but in the living room. I just perch next to the sofa.

It wouldn’t work for DH and I. We’re both on calls for the majority of the day. I can’t see either of our employers being happy with someone outside our companies listening to finance/HR/other confidential information.

I have a desk in my 9 year olds room. He’s obviously at school all day and he knows to stay downstairs until I’ve finished work. Could this be an option?

it's really selfish for you and your DH to effectively have 3 rooms between the 2 of you, and your DC to share 1. You need to do something, whether it's find an alternative space for one of you, change your WFH days or whatever.

In the meantime everytime the DC moan about sharing direct them to him!

This 💯

We have a similar issue. There's no way we could work in the same space effectively.

He's always on the phone, and I need quiet to concentrate on my tasks. I have the 'office' as i wfh more often and he works at the kitchen table or wherever in the house while he wanders around on the phone to people.

If I'm not at home, he'll use the 'office'... but generally we try to organise that we're not wfh at the same time.

I kind of agree with you both - the kids need their own bedrooms but there is also no way I would ever agree to share my office with DH!

I guess it partly depends on your jobs and how often you are on calls, and also how easily you are able to concentrate with background noise going on - I personally always struggled to concentrate in an open plan office, but some people love it!

Do you have a dining room or space downstairs you could squeeze in your desk so you have somewhere separate
to work?