DH’s sudden obsession with FIRE

I’d guess @Firewife2 doesn’t work or contribute financially as I suppose she might have mentioned this and how her income and savings compares with her husband’s if she did.

Tell me he's doing all the homework chores and making all the dinners at least?

Have you no interests or social circle outside work? Sounds deadly.

As someone who retired last week at t nohe age of 75- it's my second attempt,so we'll see how it pans out - I can't imagine anyone retiring at 54. What on earth do they do with their time? It sounds deadly!

Yes I think there’s probably a lot more going on here

I think he’s right. You have a holiday and bills paid. He’s just cutting luxuries so later life is better. This is sensible.

Same, I came here for the cut price fireworks displays and the defence of swaling.

Also, please play about with a compound interest calculator, for all those saying it’s pointless and subsistence living. Over ten years of saving £1k a month in investment accounts, it would be worth roughly £190k at the end of that period. If you then leave that invested and don’t put a penny more in, it could be worth about £440k in another ten years. Thats paying off the mortgage money, or a lump sum so you can both be part time

I don’t even think it’s about retiring though, it’s about options. The option to go part time in a few years, take a lower paid job that’s much less stress or in an area that you’re actually interested in. Or to start a company. They call it ‘fuck you money’ I think in FIRE - the ability to walk away from a job if it all gets too much or toxic or too stressful.

Have to say OP also, with young children, flexibility and stability are so important. Especially the finishing early to spend time with said kids. I stay in my role also for that reason, because I get a degree of flexibility and have been there for a while so would get a decent payout if let go.

He strikes me as the kind of person who is not interested in your views or perspective. Not the foundation for a long lasting relationship

I'm not saying my situation is the same. Obviously it's not, I'm 20 years older (as stated in my first post) I'm saying that I wish I'd started thinking about FIRE years ago, that lots of us know we won't be able to work in our chosen profession indefinitely (exhaustion, burnout, whatever) and that planning to be able to support yourself when that happens is a good idea, no matter what your current income. Some people value future security more than holidays now, and that's fine.

I wish I'd had a partner with OP's mindset back when I was in my early 30's!

I will say I am very impressed on how much he can set aside on £3k a year.

I am on more than that and struggle to set aside 18% (not including pension)!!!

I guess it’s only unreasonable because he is married and this decision needs to be discussed and agreed between both parties.

I know people doing FIRE as singles / couples and they are fine with it so it’s not inherently unreasonable. Personally I prefer a bit of balance rather than wait to do everything in retirement.

The whole point of FIRE is to live on the minimum to save and retire early. So he's doing it right putting 1/3rd in. However it's basically a thing COUPLES have to be into together. One partner on it, and the other not, sounds to me like a recipe for disaster (by which I mean marital strife, maybe ultimately divorce). You need to tell him exactly what you are comfortable with, and if he won't adjust to meet those expectations that's another issue. Marriage is a team sport.

So very different to this situation where this is a parent of a young child, married (and we have no idea about his wife’s job situation)

I do, but my child has autism and a LD and lives in supported housing. Currently his situation is stable, and I'm hopeful that won't change. He doesn't need my financial support. My partner and I don't live together and aren't planning to.

I'm planning my financial future around my own projected needs at this stage.

I know. Do people on here seriously think an annual salary of over 10k more than the national average is a low salary? You'd be pretty high up the pecking order as an architect or engineer to earn that

A lot of jobs aren't fun. A lot of jobs aren't good for your health. If you don't love your job, and don't need more money, why would you keep working rather than doing something you enjoy and that is good for you? If I have 40 years left I'd rather spend them enjoying myself and ensuring they're a good 40 years and I stay fit and able.

I think you have to enjoy doing FIRE. If you both don't, you need to tell him. Sounds like a compromise might be possible.

This dh isn’t saving for his retirement
he is saving so he can jack in work at 50
that is a bit different

I would be complaining if I couldn't retire at a similar time 🙄

Do you have children @Katbag77 ?

a partner?

I'm with DH on this.

I'm 51 and discovered FIRE last year. Very late, but fortunately I work for the NHS and can take my pension at 60. I'll have enough to survive on, but I'm aggressively saving (much less than £1000 a month!) so that I have a bit extra to live on between 60 and 68 and actually enjoy my retirement before getting to state pension age. I have one holiday a year, eat out sometimes, have a good (inexpensive) social life, and am overpaying my mortgage so I'll be mortgage free by 60.

In response to lots of the discussions on this thread - I love my job, but it's physically exhausting. I won't be able to do it forever, I'll be lucky to make it to 60. Loads of us are in this position.

£3000 a month is a good salary in many fields. I'm currently on £51K, and as a nurse (middle of Band 7) who has no interest at all in management, there isn't a lot of scope to get higher (except wait 3 years for the final increment point). All these comments about it being a shit wage are really tone deaf and privileged. I do overtime and unsocial hours to bump it up, but that won't be sustainable as I get older.

Yes, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but I probably won't. My parents and grandparents have lived to their 90's or are still alive and healthy in their late 70's, so the chances are good I'll have a long retirement, which I'd very much like to enjoy.

Everyone makes their financial decisions based on their own situation. "Live for today" is advice I wish I'd ignored 20 years ago!

An obsession or does he enjoy work?
Does he spend the money? What is your life like?

Both my parents retired at 60 and then went back to working about 70% of the time but that's because they really love their jobs and there is a real skill shortage in their respective fields . however, they spend the rest of their time skiing and sailing and going to the theatre and parties so they are very much enjoying life on their terms