To wonder what you do if your toddler kicks off on a plane?

We travelled a few times a year when dcs were toddlers and found trains were better for European travel as they can take a walk through the carriage and there is interesting scenery, big tables to put toys and pens on etc. We live close to Eurostar so it was easier than getting to an airport too. But we did one long haul every year to see family, and it was trickier in the toddler years but never unmanageable. I don't think either of my dcs ever kicked off though they got restless and wanted to move around. We let them climb between us on our row of seats (no one else on that row) and sometimes got up for a walk. We brought toys, tablet with their favourites downloaded, snacks, books, a magazine. I breastfed until they were 4 which helped them stay calm generally and to nap on the flight, so they slept quite a bit.

i used to pack surprise new toys for the holiday , eg Polly pocket, mini kite, squishies, colouring. And lots and lots of snacks.

I have a nearly three year old and nearly five year old and live abroad. Everytime we fly I just tell myself it’s not for long over and over again.
Sometimes the cabin crew give sweets and chocolate to the children if they are being particularly whiny.
I always threaten them I will tell the cabin crew when they won’t sit down but the cabin crew usually just stare at me when I really want them to tell my children off haha

Ah sorry I didn’t realise you’re a single parent, yes it would be harder to distract both of them at the same time, but the older one is probably too old to kick off?

For a short flight? Nothing to worry about. Anything less than 5 hours will be absolutely fine for a prepared parent of a toddler.. (unless there are other things going on, teething, illness, night time flight, part of a much longer journey, ND etc)

Just do as everyone said... Over pack with activities and food, and prepare to play with them for the duration, minus the time you are willing to let them watch things or go on screens.

For long haul? That is a different matter, because then you are going over the limit for sleep/exhaustion, which is where most of the problems come in. Because of my family situation I fly long haul a lot, and the real differential is how easy the kids sleep. If they go off fine, no problem.. but if they struggle to sleep on a 10-12h flight, at 2-3 they just won't be able to handle it, and your going to have a meltdown.

What is the AIBU here? You're just asking a question. Why not ask in the parenting topic?

It is really hard! I quickly realised that’s why so many families go to Cornwall!

As others have said, a strategy of complete and unflinching appeasement. Screens, snacks, new toys. If they have WiFi on the plane, take selfies with Snapchat filters, that keeps mine happy for ages. Also The Works sell themed activity bags (Paw Patrol etc) which are great for journeys.

If you've ever had an unexpected interaction with the sharp edges of a galley cart you'll know not running on an aircraft is pretty sound advice.

Go by ferry or Eurostar

I’ll prob be flamed for this but I believe in an exceptional abundance of screen time on flights .

We flew regularly when my boy was a toddler. I would distract him with books, toys, and stickers and if that failed I would breastfeed him. He would usually get sleepy and nap then.

My daughters coming up for 3 and we been away a couple times a year since she was 7 months. I was dreading our recent trip last month as we well and truly in the thick of terrible 2s at moment 🤦‍♀️ She was fine though. We just had lots of snack on stand by and had couple toys to play with on plane. She's not a tablet kid but has it for long journeys in car/plane. We only have the one child so its not as bad as entertaining multiples! I think you just gotta bite the bullet and do it or you will never do it out of fear. Try short 2 hour flights and see how it goes as they get older im sure they just get easier anyway.

Aside from being an absolute nuisance it is dangerous for them to run around on a plane - hot drinks, food trolleys, safety procedures, turbulence etc etc. if they really can’t stay in a seat with maybe a little stroll or two to the loo and back with a parent, it’s not safe for them to be on board. Like you say, you can’t exactly leave.

You could just point out that if you do have to leave it’s a very long way down.

Urgh such an obnoxious MN comment

I think they feed off your feelings sometimes so if you’re stressed they’re more likely to be? Lots of calm activities to do etc?

We’ve taken both of our DDs (now both much older) regularly on flights since they were about 5 months old including long haul from toddler age. I’ve always naively assumed they’d be fine and they have been. (Except the 10 mins for take off when youngest was newly 2 so had to sit in her own seat and wanted my lap - had to physically hold her down but was fine for the rest of the flight).

Ive always expected a decent amount of sitting still though - longish meals out, visiting older relatives etc so maybe they were more used to it. Maybe do more sitting at table / on a bus etc practice until they can happily do a couple of hours of colouring / stickers etc without getting too fidgety.

Mine have never kicked off on a flight though and I can’t really remember a flight where a toddler has noticeably relentlessly been horrendous either. I know my sister had issues with hers long haul, but he has suspected autism. What I’m saying is that I think most kids manage and I personally wouldn’t be put off for this reason.

Just be seen to be trying to distract/contain them. Most passengers will be sympathetic if you’ve brought colouring/head phones / snacks and try to stop them kicking the seat in front.

The worst I had was a man with a 3 year old in business class (I needed to work) who brought nothing. Demanded activities from the staff and (when they weren’t available) then let his toddler listen to cartoons on full volume and kick my seat for 3 hours. When the staff eventually asked him to turn it off, she had a full on meltdown.

Aware that other passengers were unhappy, he ended the flight by smugly announcing at full volume how well she’d done as she was only 3. He seemed blissfully unaware of the fact that the whole plane was judging HIM for making no attempt to control or entertain his toddler.

Hopefully short flight?

Sounds like you're a permissive parent.

If for example, your child is kicking the seat in front and won't stop then you have to physically stop them because you cannot have that behaviour on a flight. It's not fair on the passenger in front. After the warnings if they still have not stopped, you remove their shoes and hold their legs so they cannot kick.

I can't imagine my DC ever behaving the way you describe, and I do have multiple. Yes they've been challenging but never 'kicked off' in public to an extent that we couldnt get them under control. Remember you are the adult in the situation, and you have to model the kind of behaviour you expect from them.

If you already parent in a way that they know that behaviour is not tolerated then they are much less likely to 'kick off'.

When my youngest was 14 months old we were on the night flight from US to UK, and she screamed pretty much the whole way. She was too big to go in the sky cot and so was on my knee, but she just couldn’t settle and cried and cried. Eventually she’d conk out through exhaustion, and you could hear everyone around me breathe a sigh of relief and start to doze off themselves, but then 10-15 minutes later she’d wake up screaming again. This repeated for the whole 9 hour flight. I could feel the hatred from everyone and I was beyond exhausted myself. Didn’t get a wink of sleep and then had a 3 hour drive home from the airport.

The way out had been better because it was a day flight, but I had to spend the whole flight pretty much just walking up and down the plane with DD as that’s all that would keep her happy.

I wouldn’t recommend it as an experience!

You don’t accept running around and screaming. It’s not an option. Kids are kids but you are a parent. Yes tantrums happen but for the love of mankind don’t accept that running around and screaming is “ok”.

Same with their husbands. They just won't staaaaaand for it.