To wonder what you do if your toddler kicks off on a plane?

I agree. It’s not all about your toddler and their screaming. It’s horrible for the people around you. Last week I flew back from Europe and two kids screamed and shouted for most of the flight.

One toddler just kept playing peek a boo with the person behind who was clearly not interested and
the parents did very little and the Mum just looked on indulgently.

@cucumberandlime
This is your cultural and parenting generation talking. You believe that it’s necessary to control the environment, but it’s just a belief. You control your child.

If your young child starts “kicking off” you restrain them by holding their legs and arms still till they tire themselves out and stop . Same if they don’t want their seat belt on. It stays on, you hold it in place till they the sign says it can be removed. End of.
It’s absolutely fine to physically ensure that both you child and those around them don’t get hurt when we are talking toddlers/ 3 year olds.

If your child is coming up to school age, so hitting 4 and you are worried that you can’t get her on a plane then there are 2 things to consider.

Either accept that your parenting approach, to never force your child to comply, will result in missing or postponing some activities.

Or take a good look at your child’s behaviour 360. If you feel that there may be other things going on with your child then look into SEN.

You just cope.

We flew 12 hours when my oldest was 6 months.

We then flew 4.5 hours with a 6 month old and a 2 year old.

We have since flown 5 hours with a 1& 3 year old.

Its not easy, you have to apologise a lot but you get through it.

While I wouldn't enjoy a child screaming, at least I understand why a child might scream on a plane, and how difficult it is for a parent to quieten the child down

The seat kicking is another matter, however. A parent absolutely can stop a child kicking a seat. Either they physically stop them and/or they remove their shoes.

I once caught an early morning flight back from Majorca after a 3.30 am start. I had a toddler kicking my seat during the entire journey. I did ask the mum very politely if she could ask her son to stop kicking my seat. All she replied was "he can't help it. He doesn't know any better"

Well of course he doesn't if his parent doesn't tell him.

Very wise.

With a child we knew would find it very difficult to be settled until the age of about 6 we just didn't go abroad.

I was really worried about taking my 3 year old as he gets grumpy when he’s tired and doesn’t get his own way. Bought loads of little games and puzzles and fidget toys and put them in small bags in his carry on. It was all a surprise. As he got bored I pulled a bag with a new toy in. That kept him occupied for the whole flight although only 2.5 hrs. And he had things to play with when we got there. Done it 2 years in a row now and so far it’s worked

Plenty of food, drinks, distraction. Pray lol

Personally I wouldn’t take a toddler on a plane
my daughter was 4 and almost starting school when we flew to Spain… prior to that we went by ferry to france where she was free to walk about, buy snacks, watch shows and play in the soft play

I've found travel with my kids easy as anything - and I have 4 - although I never gave in to tantrums so my grumpy toddler stage didn't last long - when my 4th was born we flew 4 hours when she was 6 weeks old, with a 2 year old, 5 year old and 10 year old as well and it was easy. The sound of the plane is like white noise so keeps most kids calm.

Surely this depends on the child concerned - illnesses, syndromes, and the attention paid by carers? I think people's main concern is when a child has a meltdown and the parents do nothing.

Do Keep ‘em quiet bags still exist? I got them a couple of times when my daughter was small. They are basically bags full of small plane-friendly distractions. You could put together the same yourself (probably more cheaply) but I also had enough to deal with wrapping at work and packing so found these great.

Snacks, as others have said.

Get your child used to headphones and load up a device with Peppa Pig or whatever they will watch for a while.

I travelled a lot when my kids were young, longest being a trip to Australia when they were 20 months and three, plus trips to the USA. They have always been great on planes, so I’ve been lucky I guess. The three year old discovered there were snacks left out during the 12 hour flight to Singapore (sleep? Ha you are joking), so kept himself entertained by wandering up there at regular intervals (I’m sure the whole section knew his name by the end). I remember his little face when we got there and he looked at me ‘we landed’! And I had to break it to him we had to run across the airport to catch our connecting flight - how his face fell!
Everyone always looks at you with distain when you board but my kids have always behaved much better than some obnoxious or drunk passengers!

I understand completely how you had a weird feeling. We went to Coniston water.
As soon as we arrived, I needed to leave. Felt so creepy

We did quite a few "walks" to the back of the plane too especially just before the seatbelt signs come on before landing when you know they have about 30 mins of them having to stay in their seats

Distraction and snacks!! We used to wrap toys up - in Christmas paper or whatever you had and had 1 for each hour of the jouney - we did long hall quite a bit when they were young.. small cheap things like a toy car /small lift the flap books etc - and when they started to get tricky - we'd make a big song and dance about getting out the "special bag" - they could reach in and choose something and then upwrao and then that bought you at least 15/20 mins while they played with it.. then another when it looked like they needed it again!;) we also used to string Cheerios and make a long necklace and they'd spend ages nibbling them
off... then short shows on the iPad like peppa pig..we travelled loads with 3 close in age - it's always worth the trip but the above helped us SO much!!

My oldest screamed so much on one flight. She had had an ear infection which I thought she was recovered from but clearly not as she was in much more pain than she should have been from pressure changes. I tried my best to calm her but also accepted I couldn't work miracles so apologised to everyone sitting near us. Everyone was lovely though, no dirty looks or comments, just looks of sympathy.

As a previous poster said, we travelled by ferry with a cabin. Brittany Ferries are great. Through the tunnel and good old Center Parcs. If your child can’t sit still then these are your options.

Moat parents time it so they would be napping, but you said yours dont really nap.

Parents also use snacks, lots of them as a distraction, but you said yours isnt fussed about food or sugary snacks.

Parents also use screens, unlimited, but you said yours dont like them for very long.

Not sure what your other options would be tbh! Cornwall it is then....

Alllll the distraction techniques. We've flown to Mauritius, St Lucia, California and Vancouver while our DS is 2/3. I think we're really lucky that DD is 4 years older than him and she is really well behaved so there's a good example! But we have books, colouring, sweets, decent headphones so he can actually hear the films, more snacks, maybe a few more snacks, also, snacks. 😂 Everything needs to be short chunks of time, so watch the movie for 20 minutes, have a snack and a chat for 5 minutes, go for a walk for 5 minutes, do some colouring or stickers for 20 minutes, then watch a bit more of the movie.

We tend to find sitting 3 + 1 so we have a window seat they can take turns looking out helps, also means one of us is sat across the aisle "on break" while the other one deals with the kids helps.

He's never had a full bore meltdown, I remain eternally grateful for that!

Have travelled long haul with my kids since they were 3 months old. The key is carry enough formula or if you are breast feeding like I was that is covered. Then as they get bigger, lots of snacks and some meal options. We usually always pick up mc donalds from the airport as our kids love nuggets and fries. Buy some surprise toys, activity books etc for the kids and ensure they don’t see it till you are on the plane. Also be prepared to entertain them and engage with them so they behave. On a long haul flight they do eventually fall asleep. We have had the odd flight where we walked around a lot when the seat belt sign was off. This was the toddler phase, as they hit 4 years it all gets better. Goodluck!

Do you know the root of why they kick off?
I am going to sound very preachy here and I don’t mean to.
i have boys of 17,15 and 8. We have ADHD and Autism as hereditary conditions in our family.
my older two never saw an iPad screen until they were about 9 and 7. Apps for kids on parents phones weren’t really a thing. They didn’t own an Xbox until they were 13 and 11. (Christmas 2021)
all kids are different so I shouldn’t compare them but I do.
my 8 year old could be more severe simply because we were older parents and it is known that mental health issues are more prevailant as kids get older.

but I also know that we have allowed our 8 year old more screen time than he should’ve had. Sometimes I think we have caused the behavioural problems because screens are addictive. A week where I spend loads of time doing the stuff he loves ( word games, drawing games, treasure hunts in the forest, reading together, made-up games) his behaviour is completely different. When he engages with others and not the screen he is less whingey and more open to listening to instructions.

when we fly long and short haul he is much better behaved when I have engaged with him properly in the days prior and on the flight.

we had a long haul flight with a 4 hour delay on the tarmac once whilst the eldest two were little. When we landed in Europe the lady behind said, “ oh my goodness you have two. I thought you only had one.” They were ages 2 and 4.

we are not quite there with our youngest but we are close when I build the quality time.

i am not being preachy or judging, I am offering an honest example of my homelife and nothing else. Every child and family are different.

Lots of snacks and entertainment and screens, if it all goes pear shaped at least make sure the people around you can see you are trying really hard.

but ideally just don't do it (we did, loads, as family was a continent away but really it's better to wait until they're a little older and solid wall to wall iPad is a reliable solution)

Some parents actually drug their children believe it or not!

I hear you, my 2 year old is lovely but a big handful. We had to fly last year to France and we managed by downloading stuff to watch the flight wasn't too long. he's gotten worse since he turned 2 and I don't plan to fly again until he calms down abit more. He currently kicks and flails if you try pick him up when tantrumming and head butts. He really is lovely but not when he kicks off. You get the child you get so don't set them up to fail, and is it worth the battle. which is your call. Agree with other posters, they can't run around so it's restraining them whilst they scream, try to distract and just get through if you want to fly...