AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

Feelings are strong on this, and it's everybody's own free choice to make; but it isn't really an objective reason as such why nobody should because "Euw, dead people's pants!"

Would you wear your dead mum's jewellery? Even if it's rings or bracelets that she was wearing whilst having sex with your dad; or when wiping her arse or picking her nose?!

Are they seriously baggy white Y fronts? That’s what I want to know.

But if they fit him, and don’t have holes or dubious stains, I don’t see an issue.

But they're also someone else's shirts.
They're shirts worn by hua dad.
They're shirts formally belonging to a dead person.

Is that actually weird?
Or is it the penis and testicles making your ick out?

It's not like he's keeping them unwashed, it's just a piece of cloth that's been thoroughly washed.

Would I do it? No, I understand the base feeling of it being weird, but upon analysis, the person without the problem is far more logical

I get it's better for the planet and my DH has quite a few of his father's things but not his underwear. That would give me serious ick But then FIL was a scummy bastard who rarely washed.

Underwear is the one thing you don’t do second hand.

very icky. Firstly pre used pants. Secondly pre used dead dad’s pants.

I get buy a pack try one don’t like them give away the other unworn but not here’s dead dads old pants draw for you. No thank you.

Would he be happy for to to do the same from a deceased member of your family ?

It’s a strange one because my first thought was that I hate it if DH did this, but thinking about it I’ve borrowed my sisters pants, lent my Mum a swimming costume and use my Grandparents old bedding so maybe it’s not that weird.
I suppose the weirdness comes from not wanting to think of FIL in his pants!

I wouldn’t wear someone else’s underwear and I buy my clothes, furniture and kitchen wear second hand. That’s a new one on me!

I always assumed that it was more having no customers who would ever want to buy second-hand strangers' pants, when they're not that expensive for basic new ones from the supermarket. That's different from if they previously belonged to a family member, though. Do people never hand pants down to their younger children from older siblings?

By the way, charity shops will take old pants, but they'll just send them off as rags, along with the other clothes that are optimistically donated but which are unsellable. They don't make a lot from them, but it's still an extra few quid in for them when they have enough. Even if you have things like socks with big holes in them, industry still pay a small amount for raggy textiles for cleaning up oil and the like. Always help them by labelling a bag as 'Rags', though, so nobody has to waste their time sorting through them before realising they aren't sellable garments.

Because it's creepy and weird that he is cosseting his own meat and two veg where his dead dad used to keep his.

Would you wear your dead mum's used knickers?

As a species, we are hard in the planet. Much better that things don't end up in landfill that still have a use. I can comfortably hold this position though safe in the knowledge that none of my family's things would fit me.

I think the reason is hygiene, but also, unless you're a tramp, noone would buy them.

Love it 😂

It's someone else's underwear 🩳

Charity shops won't accept used/second hand underwear either, I presume for hygiene reasons.

I can see why people might not like the idea, but I also see why others wouldn't care. Presuming that he sometimes does need to buy pants for himself, it seems mad to be throwing a pile of clean, perfectly good pants in a rag bag for the charity shop and then toddling off to the shop to buy a new pile of identical ones.

It may (or may not) also be one of those (stereotypical) differences between men and women, as men generally seem to see pants as purely functional items and frequently don't care what they look like, as long as they're clean and comfy. Their team's football shirts, by contrast...!

Do you live with him?

if he does say “I will wear whatever the heck I want”…. Is it a deal breaker for you?!

Seriously. I think it’s weird af, who would wear someone else’s pants, living or dead?

On the Y front ?

I don't see the issue really. When my dad died I took all his towels and bedding to use myself as they were nice and I needed more. I also took some shoes that fit me, and let my late OH take any of his clothes that fit.

I'd rather stuff got re-used rather than thrown in a landfill.

I also remember borrowing my mothers knickers as a teenager if I couldn't find a clean pair of my own.

Omg, I have the exact same scenario! Father in law (now deceased) was admitted into hospital, so we brought the clothes he was admitted in home to wash. His underwear (which was very similar to DH's) ended up in DH's drawer, so he just kept them as he didn't realise for ages and then couldn't be bothered to give them back.

I find it a bit odd, but also not the worst thing in the world.

To the PP who said they would also object to second hand sheets, do you not sleep in hotels and use hotel towels? I'll bet they've had worse on them before being washed!

His body, his choice, why do you care?

You have only just realised after several years so I think YABU. It’s better for the environment…

I wouldn't like it but I realise I'm not being logical. When DD was a young a friend of mine would pass on her children's outgrown clothes to me which was really useful. I never gave DD the pants though - I was happy for her to wear the clothes but not the pants for some reason. Which is odd because when potty training if she'd had an "off" day & I hadn't packed enough spare pants she'd occasionally come home in nursery spares & I didn't mind that (I'd wash & return them obviously) so I don't even make sense to myself!

Nope don’t understand the objection at all.