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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

258 replies

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:02

As the title says, am I being unreasonable to object to my partner wearing his (late) father's underwear?

His father died a few years ago, and his mother gave him lots of quite nice clothes of his father's to have. I recently discovered that he'd also inherited his father's underwear which he is now wearing! He claims it has been washed countless times and is in good condition, so he doesn't get why I would object. But, I do....! Would you??

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 20/06/2026 19:45

Not the same I know.But when Mum died I wore her massive thick sheepskin jacket.Really cold winter .My dog knocked me over on the frozen field ! Her coat was very good insulation! If DH wants to wear Dads things I dont see any harm really.Underwear is close to the skin and probably feels comforting

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 20/06/2026 19:28

DaisyChain505 · 20/06/2026 17:58

I think playing dress up in the clothes of anyone you know who is sadly deceased is a tad odd let alone underwear.

Why is it 'playing dress up'? If you have your deceased parents' dining table, are you playing housey? And if you keep and drive your dead parents' car, is that you playing vroom-vroom?

They're just useful items that the previous owner no longer needs or can use - why does it have to be mocked as some kind of kids' game if somebody who can still use them does so? Nobody's forcing you to have anything second-hand, if you don't want to.

PenelopeJoanSterling · 20/06/2026 19:22

not if its previously used, new yes but not used

BoogieVoogieAllNightLong · 20/06/2026 19:15

I've thought about this for a minute and I believe the problem is that, however briefly (sorry!), subconsciously or tangentially, the thought of your husband wearing his late father's pants is bringing the stomach churning concept of his late father's gentlemen's vegetables into your mind. And that is an enormous and horrific, cringe inducing passion killer. As though, now he has worn them, his own bits are FIL adjacent by proxy.

That's what I think anyway.

Tableforjoan · 20/06/2026 19:07

Like imagine your husband comes home one day with his dead mums pants for you to wear 😂😂

Hard pass.

ThisMeansNothingToMe · 20/06/2026 18:58

Legacy longjohns?

Bequeathed briefs?

Overworkedandknackered · 20/06/2026 18:56

I would be very repulsed by this, underwear is feels more personal than outer clothes, it feels very skinflint-y to me and I’d find that off putting.

Waitingfordoggo · 20/06/2026 18:53

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 18:48

If that means I’m not wearing dead people’s underwear I’m fine with that 👍.

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Sort of implies you’d wear a live person’s underwear. What’s dead got to do with it?

Pssedoffathis · 20/06/2026 18:51

I don't really see the issue tbh.

Twinkylightsg · 20/06/2026 18:50

Justanopinionnothingmore · 20/06/2026 17:06

Heirloom pantaloons

🤣🤣🤣

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2026 18:49

It’s weird. But why. They are washed and clean

but seems weird

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 18:48

Zingading · 20/06/2026 18:37

We haven’t used the term third world since Live Aid. I would suggest the attitude is as outdated as the vocabulary.

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If that means I’m not wearing dead people’s underwear I’m fine with that 👍.

outerspacepotato · 20/06/2026 18:43

Dead men's underwear, nope. His dead dad's, nopenopenope. Weird. Ick.

namechange62 · 20/06/2026 18:40

I wore the beautiful nightie my grandma died in giving birth to my 3rd child! The midwife commented on it and I burst into tears..(she'd died earlier in my pregnancy)
But her knickers? No way...

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 18:39

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:20

Well, he was between jobs at the time, and it manifested in that way. We had a very good discussion about it, and he's back working now, and things changed very much for the better on that front.

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Well you could have mentioned he was “between jobs” in your thread about how tight he is about money @whyohwhyisitalwayswet ! But you didn’t weirdly instead very much saying he did have a job, it it wasn’t paid as well as yours

Zingading · 20/06/2026 18:37

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 18:32

They could have them! We don’t live in the third world, pants are pretty cheap to buy and it is the fact her dead father-in-laws penis has been in them. It’s weird.

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We haven’t used the term third world since Live Aid. I would suggest the attitude is as outdated as the vocabulary.

Weekmindedfool · 20/06/2026 18:37

Nope. Suggests to me he’s a lazy man child who would rather do anything than buy his own clothes.

hoxtonE1 · 20/06/2026 18:35

I'm certain that your DH'S DM, when going through her late DH'S clothing would not offer something that wasn't in the very best condition, possibly like new, possibly new even.
It's good quality you say, and in good condition.
What a shame it would be to throw it in the bin, at least you don't have to look at it all day OP!

Goldengirl123 · 20/06/2026 18:35

Weird

Imdunfer · 20/06/2026 18:34

Weirdly I don't think I could do it but I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 18:32

Zingading · 20/06/2026 18:26

There are people the world over who would be grateful for secondhand pants. I also think boxer type pants are less of a problem than tighty whities or more close-fitting women’s pants. As for people saying they wouldn’t want secondhand sheets, do they never stay away from home?

They could have them! We don’t live in the third world, pants are pretty cheap to buy and it is the fact her dead father-in-laws penis has been in them. It’s weird.

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 18:32

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 18:30

Weirdest thing I’ve ever read on here. That is saying something.

All it says to me is that you joined mumsnet yesterday!

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 18:30

Weirdest thing I’ve ever read on here. That is saying something.

Jc2001 · 20/06/2026 18:30

Wingwalk · 20/06/2026 18:14

three words - dead dad's dong

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I'd love to know what location that is on What3Words.

ThisMeansNothingToMe · 20/06/2026 18:27

Every time I saw DH in the pants I'd think of the dead dad's ding-a-ling a-dangling right there.

It's a no from me.