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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

258 replies

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:02

As the title says, am I being unreasonable to object to my partner wearing his (late) father's underwear?

His father died a few years ago, and his mother gave him lots of quite nice clothes of his father's to have. I recently discovered that he'd also inherited his father's underwear which he is now wearing! He claims it has been washed countless times and is in good condition, so he doesn't get why I would object. But, I do....! Would you??

OP posts:
anotherdaytosmile · 20/06/2026 22:09

That made me shiver reading that

AutisticLass2026 · 20/06/2026 22:08

Doesn't bother me but then again I've borrowed my sister's or mums underwear many times at unexpectedly staying overs

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 20/06/2026 22:06

If your partner is happy with it, its fine

CoyGoldenKoi · 20/06/2026 22:05

I understand why instinctively you find it weird.

But it's no more weird than wearing his dad's other clothes, or clothes from charity shops, after they've been washed.

We're conditioned to find it icky, but that conditioning is itself irrational.

gillefc82 · 20/06/2026 21:54

I personally don’t do secondhand anything, but there’s something about the thought of my DH wearing ‘pre-loved’ underwear that makes me feel itchy all over.

It’s a no from me!

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2026 21:47

Is it the fact it’s his dads dead pants or any second hand pants

yet happily wear say clothes from eBay or Vinted or charity shops

I’ve sold bras on Vinted from losing weight

obviously I’m not dead

Waitingfordoggo · 20/06/2026 21:33

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 21:21

The whole post is about her dead father in laws pants but if you want to pedantic, then yes, all pants that have had any other genitals in them are not for me.

I thought as much. I think the fact that the FIL is dead is a red herring really. There are people who’d be ok with wearing someone else’s pants and people who wouldn’t. I don’t think it makes any difference if the someone else is dead. I don’t imagine there is anyone who’d wear someone else’s pants but only if they’re still alive 😂

ThatJadeLion · 20/06/2026 21:26

Would have bothered me when I was younger. Now I'm more in the menopausal age bracket, wouldn't bother me in the slightest!

corblimeygvnr · 20/06/2026 21:22

Magicpaintbrush · 20/06/2026 20:17

It's weird because both his and his dad's genitals have made their home in that same pair of pants - doesn't matter that they've been washed. I would be horrified by it personally, it's the thought if where they've been. Nobody wants to see their DH in a pair of pants and then get a mental image of their FIL 😱 - outraged that I can't find a puking emoji on here.

Edited

🤢🤢🤮🤮

SmashThePatriarchy · 20/06/2026 21:21

Waitingfordoggo · 20/06/2026 18:53

Sort of implies you’d wear a live person’s underwear. What’s dead got to do with it?

The whole post is about her dead father in laws pants but if you want to pedantic, then yes, all pants that have had any other genitals in them are not for me.

spicysalad · 20/06/2026 21:20

Big fan of saving the planet, secondhand clothes etc. but I draw the line at second hand underwear, from the living or the dead.

MrsOni · 20/06/2026 21:01

SleepingStandingUp · 20/06/2026 17:42

But they're also someone else's shirts.
They're shirts worn by hua dad.
They're shirts formally belonging to a dead person.

Is that actually weird?
Or is it the penis and testicles making your ick out?

It's not like he's keeping them unwashed, it's just a piece of cloth that's been thoroughly washed.

Would I do it? No, I understand the base feeling of it being weird, but upon analysis, the person without the problem is far more logical

I'm not saying it's logical.

But personally, I would not want to know my OH is going around in dead dad pants. It's fucking weird and that is a hill I am very much prepared to die on.

superspideysense · 20/06/2026 20:49

What would he say if you wore your mum knickers??

and yeah I agree - weird. Like not sexy at all - you’d be thinking of his dad?!

YorkshireIndie · 20/06/2026 20:29

Burn them? Dog ate them?

Magicpaintbrush · 20/06/2026 20:17

It's weird because both his and his dad's genitals have made their home in that same pair of pants - doesn't matter that they've been washed. I would be horrified by it personally, it's the thought if where they've been. Nobody wants to see their DH in a pair of pants and then get a mental image of their FIL 😱 - outraged that I can't find a puking emoji on here.

RanchRat · 20/06/2026 20:12

Pre-loved undercrackers, not my cup of tea.

thelongesday · 20/06/2026 20:04

Better than them just going into landfill IMO.

TiggyTomCat · 20/06/2026 20:01

I want to say yes but I just can't....! I just can't imagine ripping my FIL's pants off my DH....! It would kind of ruin the moment.....

Tableforjoan · 20/06/2026 20:00

DoAWheelie · 20/06/2026 19:55

If any of that jewellery was her rings then there is a high probability it's touched both your parents genitals.

Why is that ok but not some fabric that's been washed.

I guess you never let your mum give you kiss you in general. High probability she might of given your dad a blow job after all.

Yogibearspicnic · 20/06/2026 19:58

Have you thought of taking them to Pantiques Roadshow?

DoAWheelie · 20/06/2026 19:55

Besidemyselfwithworry · 20/06/2026 17:13

I wear some of my mums jewellery and me and my sister have some of her handbags and accessories but definately not knickers and bras’s that is beyond weird!

If any of that jewellery was her rings then there is a high probability it's touched both your parents genitals.

Why is that ok but not some fabric that's been washed.

Youhavereachedyourdestination · 20/06/2026 19:51

dottiedodah · 20/06/2026 19:45

Not the same I know.But when Mum died I wore her massive thick sheepskin jacket.Really cold winter .My dog knocked me over on the frozen field ! Her coat was very good insulation! If DH wants to wear Dads things I dont see any harm really.Underwear is close to the skin and probably feels comforting

Tell yourself that when you’re peeling them off for a bit of how’s your (dead) father.

So comforting.

Youhavereachedyourdestination · 20/06/2026 19:50

Christ no. Dead daddy’s cock and bollocks.

And then what? You pull them down when it’s blow job time? Horrendous.

Tableforjoan · 20/06/2026 19:47

I’m sorry but dead dad’s underwear because it’s close to the skin feels comforting.

That’s a whole new level of well I don’t want to get deleted or banned but jeez

ainsleysanob · 20/06/2026 19:47

There’s that old saying ‘Never wear a dead man’s pants’. I live by that 🤣