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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

258 replies

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:02

As the title says, am I being unreasonable to object to my partner wearing his (late) father's underwear?

His father died a few years ago, and his mother gave him lots of quite nice clothes of his father's to have. I recently discovered that he'd also inherited his father's underwear which he is now wearing! He claims it has been washed countless times and is in good condition, so he doesn't get why I would object. But, I do....! Would you??

OP posts:
chirrupybird · 21/06/2026 16:32

If they are nice and to his style why not, if they are ancient white Y-fronts no. Does he wear them to bed? His bits in his dad's pants in your bed a bit weird definitely.

Original poster
whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 16:28

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 16:24

Did you ever meet his dad?

Yes, he was a lovely man.

OP posts:
Original poster
whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 16:27

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 16:24

You have said “the agreement was you don’t wear them when you are together”!!

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Yup, this is my preference!

OP posts:
spiderlight · 21/06/2026 16:27

I once discovered that a particularly vile pair of my ex's pants had originally belonged to his late grandma's toy-boy. Those went straight in the bin!

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 16:24

Did you ever meet his dad?

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 16:24

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:09

Well, I objected, and he said "sure, I'll just take them off" :))

Edited
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You have said “the agreement was you don’t wear them when you are together”!!

Original poster
whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 16:12

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 16:07

Well in that case surely he can pull on non dad’s inherited pants when you do see him?! Perfect Christmas present right them…. New pants to be worn when he goes on a date with you!

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Ha! Yes, that's our usual solution - we respect each other's preferences when we are together on weekends, and do our own thing when we are not! Works very well for us. I have bought him pants from oddballs in the past, they are very entertaining.

OP posts:
Whosthetabbynow · 21/06/2026 16:08

Er, no. Deeply odd

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 16:07

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 16:02

We don't live together.

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Well in that case surely he can pull on non dad’s inherited pants when you do see him?! Perfect Christmas present right them…. New pants to be worn when he goes on a date with you!

Original poster
whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 16:02

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 15:50

Well no “of course” surely
shared housework 🤷‍♀️
do you live together? If not then yes “of course”!

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We don't live together.

OP posts:
Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 15:50

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 15:47

No, no, he does his own washing, ofcourse.

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Well no “of course” surely
shared housework 🤷‍♀️
do you live together? If not then yes “of course”!

Original poster
whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/06/2026 15:47

Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 15:15

Are you washing them too @whyohwhyisitalwayswet ?

No, no, he does his own washing, ofcourse.

OP posts:
Turntheswitch · 21/06/2026 15:15

Are you washing them too @whyohwhyisitalwayswet ?

hididdlyho · 21/06/2026 12:57

They must be decent quality if they've lasted years. Most of my underwear lasts about a year before if starts to get holes or the elastic goes! I don't think I'd like to or like my DH to wear second hand pants either and I'm pretty frugal.

DysonHoover · 21/06/2026 12:41

My sister gave me over 20 pairs of knickers when she lost weight. All worn but in great condition. I was very happy - saved me a fair bit of money and far better for the environment! No thongs, all big knickers and mostly m&s.

She is still alive though!

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 21/06/2026 12:37

Waitingfordoggo · 21/06/2026 12:33

Perhaps the OP’s late FIL’s pants have also been boil washed.

And I wouldn’t bank on a hotel towel not having been in a bum crack. People do all sorts of weird things and you just don’t know where that towel has been.

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Indeed. People in hotels make toast using the Corby trouser press, and poo in the kettle.

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 21/06/2026 12:36

Overworkedandknackered · 21/06/2026 12:25

Aye but those towels will have been boil washed and probably haven’t been right up inside the crack of a someone else’s arse.

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Eh? Men's pants aren't generally designed to go up inside their crack - thongs for men aren't really a thing (unless you're Peter Stringfellow).

A large proportion of men don't even wear pants that hug their figure at all - they're literally just shorts that hang loose.

Plasticdreams · 21/06/2026 12:36

I’m guessing they’re not Calvin Kleins?

Waitingfordoggo · 21/06/2026 12:33

Overworkedandknackered · 21/06/2026 12:25

Aye but those towels will have been boil washed and probably haven’t been right up inside the crack of a someone else’s arse.

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Perhaps the OP’s late FIL’s pants have also been boil washed.

And I wouldn’t bank on a hotel towel not having been in a bum crack. People do all sorts of weird things and you just don’t know where that towel has been.

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 21/06/2026 12:33

Most men don't actually get precious about clothes, or attach the same significance and 'rules' to them in the same way as a lot of women do.

That's why the adult clothes in charity shops are 90% women's garments - and of the men's clothes that they do have, a lot of them will have been donated by women whose husbands have died. It's hardly like men don't wear clothes, but just that a lot of them will keep and wear perfectly good clothing until it's worn out.

Overworkedandknackered · 21/06/2026 12:25

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 21/06/2026 12:03

So? They’ve been washed? It’s just cloth?

As a PP said, do you never use a hotel towel to dry your bits? They’ve had strangers fluids, sweat etc on them.

This is his own Dad’s clean stuff.

The squeamishness on MN sometimes … Confused

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Aye but those towels will have been boil washed and probably haven’t been right up inside the crack of a someone else’s arse.

Samewrinklesnewname · 21/06/2026 12:13

corblimeygvnr · 20/06/2026 17:11

Yes 🤢

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Do you never stay away from home?

JackandVictor · 21/06/2026 12:04

DawnBreaks · 20/06/2026 17:05

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest! Re use and repurpose. Better for the planet. 😄

This

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 21/06/2026 12:03

Jc2001 · 20/06/2026 17:32

It's someone else's underwear 🩳

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So? They’ve been washed? It’s just cloth?

As a PP said, do you never use a hotel towel to dry your bits? They’ve had strangers fluids, sweat etc on them.

This is his own Dad’s clean stuff.

The squeamishness on MN sometimes … Confused

toomuchfaff · 21/06/2026 11:21

corblimeygvnr · 20/06/2026 17:11

Yes 🤢

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You object to 2nd hand sheets?

Never been in hospital then? God help you if you do.