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AIBU?

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AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

258 replies

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:02

As the title says, am I being unreasonable to object to my partner wearing his (late) father's underwear?

His father died a few years ago, and his mother gave him lots of quite nice clothes of his father's to have. I recently discovered that he'd also inherited his father's underwear which he is now wearing! He claims it has been washed countless times and is in good condition, so he doesn't get why I would object. But, I do....! Would you??

OP posts:
InveterateWineDrinker · 20/06/2026 17:20

I wear some of my late father's clothes if they are suitable. Unfortunately I have a 32" waist and he was (optimistically) about 44" so underwear is out of the question.

Matters are also complicated by his preference for women's underwear which, as a normal man (albeit a dedicated Y-fronts wearer) wouldn't have worked for me anyway even if they did fit.

They went to my friend's Russian wife instead, who does wear them.

FloodlightsOnTheSquare · 20/06/2026 17:20

I want to say you’re unreasonable but…dead dad’s pants? That is fucking weird 🤣

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:20

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:16

Sorry but on a previous thread you have literally described him as a tightwad and literally started an entire thread yourself about how right he is with money!!

so I am surprised you’re surprised about this!!

Edited

Well, he was between jobs at the time, and it manifested in that way. We had a very good discussion about it, and he's back working now, and things changed very much for the better on that front.

OP posts:
CityonFire · 20/06/2026 17:19

I’d feel weird about it if I’m being honest, but really, he is right; they’re clean and it’s just another bit of fabric like the other clothes.

Raindropskeepfallingon · 20/06/2026 17:19

I don’t quite understand the level of revulsion of some posters - it’s clean, presumably it fits him and he’s happy with it. I assume the disgusted posters never sleep on hotel sheets…

I’d actually find my husband wearing his father’s outer clothes harder - I’ve got absolutely no idea what pants my father in law wears and I probably wouldn’t even notice DH was wearing them but I’d find it weird to see DH wear particular distinctive shirts I associate with FIL.

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/06/2026 17:18

MrsOni · 20/06/2026 17:14

Because DEAD PANTS.

It's really just that. It's just weird.

He probably (most likely) didn't die in them!

I don't actually find it that weird

But then, I've borrowed knickers from my mum (CLEAN knickers!) when I stayed over and forgot mine so I'm probably weird too judging by this thread.

If he's happy with the underwear, let him crack on

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:16

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:15

So he’s changed this year?

Ha ha, no, he just doesn't think this is a big deal. And, no different from the other clothes of his father's.

OP posts:
Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:16

Sorry but on a previous thread you have literally described him as a tightwad and literally started an entire thread yourself about how right he is with money!!

so I am surprised you’re surprised about this!!

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:15

MrsOni · 20/06/2026 17:14

Because DEAD PANTS.

It's really just that. It's just weird.

But to play devil's advocate, Dead trousers, shirts would be fine just not dead pants, so it isn't about the Dead part, but the pants part, surely?

OP posts:
Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:15

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:12

Yes, careful but not cheap at all.

So he’s changed this year?

MrsOni · 20/06/2026 17:14

Kingfisherfly · 20/06/2026 17:13

Yes, I get that, me too, but why is that?

Because DEAD PANTS.

It's really just that. It's just weird.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 20/06/2026 17:13

I wear some of my mums jewellery and me and my sister have some of her handbags and accessories but definately not knickers and bras’s that is beyond weird!

Kingfisherfly · 20/06/2026 17:13

MrsOni · 20/06/2026 17:09

Because it's someone else's pants?

Because they are pants worn by his dad?

Because they are pants formally belonging to a dead person?

Any one of those 3 is enough to give me the ick, let alone all 3.

Edited

Yes, I get that, me too, but why is that?

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:12

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:11

Is he generally very frugal?

Yes, careful but not cheap at all.

OP posts:
Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:11

Is he generally very frugal?

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:11

Justanopinionnothingmore · 20/06/2026 17:06

Heirloom pantaloons

Gold!

OP posts:
corblimeygvnr · 20/06/2026 17:11

toomuchfaff · 20/06/2026 17:09

Its just fabric.

Would you object to 2nd hand sheets?

Its just fabric.

Yes 🤢

toomuchfaff · 20/06/2026 17:09

Its just fabric.

Would you object to 2nd hand sheets?

Its just fabric.

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:09

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:06

Object away

what will your response be if he say “nope”

Well, I objected, and he said "sure, I'll just take them off" :))

OP posts:
MrsOni · 20/06/2026 17:09

Kingfisherfly · 20/06/2026 17:06

I does feel weird but there's no real reason for that. Can anyone articulate why it's a problem?

Because it's someone else's pants?

Because they are pants worn by his dad?

Because they are pants formally belonging to a dead person?

Any one of those 3 is enough to give me the ick, let alone all 3.

Unusualsuspects · 20/06/2026 17:09

I have to say kudos to your DH, much more planet friendly!

Unusualsuspects · 20/06/2026 17:08

I took quite a few clothes of my MIL when she died, but - I’m not sure why, but pants somehow seem odd. Logically, no different, but they are more intimate and I think that’s why it feels different.

skiprun · 20/06/2026 17:07

wtf 😂 no that’s insane

Bristolandlazy · 20/06/2026 17:06

I can see it both ways, initially thought that's gross but objectively there's nothing wrong with it.

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 17:06

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 20/06/2026 17:05

This is his argument, but I'm in the 'its weird' camp!

Cool

so what you going to do? Because he has a good point and he wants to carry on