To expect the adults to eat with us

Its insane how many posts we read on here about conflict with adults kids at home. Its a no brainer - when you become an adult you need your own place.

I find it unbelievable that today's young people would rather be cooking steak and ordering takeaways in their parents houses, than having jacket potatoes in the comfort of their own houses. Very weird generation.

@Hildegard25

enjoy! ☺️

Yeah, in my opinion I think it’s absolutely batshit to be “driven crazy” or “annoyed” by adults cooking food in a kitchen.

What “crap” are they putting up with, out of interest?

‘Running the show’ and it’s spending one hour in a shared space a few times a week* to eat food and wash up. Partner can turn the tv off for a hour or go upstairs on those odd days if it bothers him so much that he gets angry.

*we know it’s less than 4 days as that’s the maximum the girlfriend stays over and they normally get takeaways

Well you certainly would know. 😀

I'll probably try it sometime. Well maybe not.

Batshit? OP is complaining. Says it’s driving her crazy. Says her DP gets pissed off. They are putting up with crap in their own home that they don’t like. Sounds like the adult kids are running the show. They probably don’t even know how annoying they are.

That you bought an open plan living place isn’t your son’s fault. A young couple who cook for themselves and presumably clean up afterwards, and you are complaining about it? Let it go.

@windowslippers

why do you bother?! Just stay home, sounds like you’d be happier

I bet you're the life and soul of a party. 😂

How is buying and cooking their own meals “walking all over the parents”?

This is so batshit.

Oh I'm done believe me. I just can't get my head around someone calling kids disrespectful for using the kitchen to cook their own meals, or the best one, saying they should be made to eat their meals in their bedrooms or eat out of the house rather than be able to use the dining room.

Have you read her other comments?

@Boreded

that poster is correct though…the Girlfriend is a guest, it’s not her home.

Pointless replying to this poster. She is clueless. I hope she doesn’t have adult children in this same or similar situation or she will end up having them go non-contact.

It’s funny how much she cares when OP doesn’t 😂 is she the DP?

I don’t get why parents seem to consider their children lesser beings. We are talking about grown adults cooking their own meals, thats not walking g all over anyone. It’s normal. I think if having adult children who want to crack on and develop their independence isn’t what people want they should have thought long and hard before having g any children. At what point during their childhood does the love people feel for the newborn turn into such disdain? I would understand if the 21 year old was being problematic as many can be, but cooking? Come on now.

Finally, we agree. Yes they are.

I don’t get why parents let their kids walk all over them. So you sit there like two mugs putting up with it?

How strange.

Some threads go in the direction that as soon as teens turn 18 they should be independent and are spoilt and lazy if their parents cook all their meals.

However, people on this thread don’t like that 2 adults are buying their own food and cooking meals themselves.

Im very chilled with my kids, I always offer food but happy for them to make something else later, the only rule is down cook ingredients earmarked for a meal later in the week.

Maybe his gf has anxiety or issues with food or maybe they just dont feel hungry until later. The open plan part I get but just put a final.time in when food can't be cooked after bug otherwise let them be imo

The son isn't dictating anything, the girlfriend isn't dictating anything.. they are cooking food in the (shock horror) kitchen, or eating in the (shock horror) dining area between the hours or 7-9pm.

But yes you're absolutely right, disrespectful selfish twats, the pair of them.

The girlfriend has even fewer rights to dictate anything here whatsoever. She’s not a member of the household – she’s a guest.

They can absolutely eat with the others, because OP said they both sit upstairs while the rest are eating and wait til they are finished. She’s only works late one day a week.

You’re just making stuff up now.

I think if he's a step dad it's more inappropriate that he be getting pissed off with her kids for being present in the house, but even if he was their dad I'd still think he was unreasonable to choose a house with open plan living and get pissed off when other people want to use that space in exactly the way it is intended, in perfectly reasonable hours.. they've got no where else to go!

The can't eat with the family, as the girlfriend finishes late, op has already told us that.. so all your "solutions" involve them not being in the shared living space at all, banning them then.

The main thing that pisses me off here is you can watch TV anywhere, literally anywhere, and you can get peace and quiet anywhere if you are prepared to go somewhere more private. Cooking and eating can and should be in the kitchen/dining area, it's selfish to dictate that no one be allowed to do that when he (and OP) could just go off somewhere else for an hour and get the exact result they want.

Maybe the TV watcher(s) could wear headphones?

Clearly you have a problem with step dads and this is why it annoys you to such a degree.

Note that the OP also said that it was driving her crazy also.

The compromises for a reduced number of days of the week are numerous – eat with family instead, cook something quicker and eat in bedroom, eat dinner OP has prepared in bedroom, eat elsewhere. That’s a reasonable expectation from the person who owns the home.

It's open plan, the only way he can't make noise in the shared space is if he is banned from using it.. doesn't matter if that is one day or four, so not sure on your point, limiting/banning, it's all the same thing.

At the end of the day the step dad doesn't want OPs kids in the shared space after 7:30pm making noise, and if they do it "pisses him off".

Like I said.. grim.