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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how do people wear their hair up in a ponytail or bun without looking like Miss Trunchbull??

72 replies

TheScreen · 20/06/2026 07:20

To ask how do people wear their hair up in a ponytail or bun without looking like Miss Trunchbull??

Just that really. It's too hot to have my long thick hair down, but anytime I wear it up I cannot help feeling I look like Miss Trunchbull. Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
BigAnne · 20/06/2026 18:06

Quine0nline · 20/06/2026 07:29

It's called a "schemie facelift" in the west of Scotland. Council (housing) scheme, or estate.
Aye but, naw but.

AKA junkie bun

MaturingCheeseball · 20/06/2026 17:56

Streatham Facelift!

It really helps if you have thick hair. Oh, to have a full head of ”art teacher” hair which can be piled up oh so casually. My fine hair laughs in the face of clips, pins or indeed any attempt at chic chignons. Pulling it back just results in really flat hair and too much face.

DilemmaDelilah · 20/06/2026 17:48

Liverpool face-lift....

KnittyKnotty · 20/06/2026 14:13

AnonymityAnonymity · 20/06/2026 07:41

@Quine0nline
I live in the West of Scotland and I've never heard this! You've given me a good laugh. Thanks!

We call it a "Glesga face-lift" in South Scotland 😆

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 20/06/2026 14:02

Quine0nline · 20/06/2026 07:29

It's called a "schemie facelift" in the west of Scotland. Council (housing) scheme, or estate.
Aye but, naw but.

I’m from S London - we call it a Croydon Facelift!

Seagulldancing · 20/06/2026 11:28

If you don't like a tight pony tail, try adding volume to your roots. Dry your hair with your head upside down, or use dry shampoo or tease it a bit. It softens the whole look. A claw clip has a similar effect.

smallglassbottle · 20/06/2026 11:22

I have a fringe and a few layers and I don't pull things back too tight and just keep it loose and then redo it off and on if it gets too messy. It just takes seconds to redo. I don't brush it so it's too smooth and neat either.

Fizbosshoes · 20/06/2026 11:21

I wear my hair in a plait or a messy bun just about every day (whatever the weather) and this has never occurred to me!

Tonissister · 20/06/2026 11:21

Face shape. I have a wide square face so look like Trunchbull. Friends with oval or slim heart-shaped faces look fine.

Bingbangboo · 20/06/2026 11:18

I just accept the Miss Trunchbull vibe.

Cleocaterpillar · 20/06/2026 11:16

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/06/2026 10:59

Yes, and the heavier jowl many of us acquire as we age. Conspires to make us look Trunchbullesque!

Show quote history

Yes this too! 😭

lljkk · 20/06/2026 11:13

I never heard of Miss T... I don't have a fat face & I have buckets of hair, so I can't look like that.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/06/2026 10:59

Cleocaterpillar · 20/06/2026 07:52

I saw something on Tiktok about how the proportions of your face make a huge difference to what hairstyles look good. I don't remember what is was called but if you pull your hair back and see only forehead, then you need to add some height to the hair. I'll try to find the video!

Yes, and the heavier jowl many of us acquire as we age. Conspires to make us look Trunchbullesque!

CamilleBeauchamp · 20/06/2026 10:55

Cleocaterpillar · 20/06/2026 08:05

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNR3GnvRM/

This was it. If you have a low cranial top then you get the Trunchbull effect (like me). I do a high, messy bun then fluff up the hair at the top of my head and add some face framing strands. It looks so much softer.

Thank you for giving me a name and strategies for this! The bane of my life!

I genuinely don't think this is a risk unless you make a habit of throwing children round by their pigtails.

This, too, is where I've been going wrong... 🤦‍♀️😁

HRHCurmudgeon · 20/06/2026 10:32

I’m 55 and rock a tight, slicked back pony. The trick for me is to part in the centre and then slick back the top sides so they frame my face and make sure the bits above my ears are pulled back in line with my cheekbones. And then make sure the pony is sitting in the right place - trial and error. ETA I make sure the crown has a little bit of height or shape to it too.

I do have the following on my side: good cheekbones, long next and a well proportioned brow.

Helpmefindtime · 20/06/2026 10:19

There are loads of different ways to wear hair up when it's hot.
Have a look on YouTube for messy bun, low bun or quick updos tutorials.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/06/2026 10:17

DreamingOfGeneHunt · 20/06/2026 07:46

I use a crocodile or banana clip so it's softer. If I do the slicked back bun thing I look like my father in drag.

This. The older I get, the less a big standard pony tail suits me.

I’ve even taken to plaiting it for the gym (which is mostly when I want it off my neck).

CornishCornetto · 20/06/2026 10:12

I make the top front of it look a little ruffled/softer - so put everything in a bun then put the flat of my palm on the top of my head and slide it forward a bit. Look in the mirror while doing it and just stop sliding it when that area of hair is a bit looser and you can sort of set it to lie to the side a bit.

Also loosen some tendrils just in front of the ears or at the base of the neck.

It makes the whole look softer rather than scraped back but still keeps your hair tidy/out of your face.

Hallywally · 20/06/2026 09:56

I always wear my hair back 🤣 I have a big chin. I care not 🤣

BigLightOff · 20/06/2026 08:17

I don’t think ponytails look good on many people once they’re too old for school uniform tbh.
It’s more a functional look than stylish one.

Shinyhappyapple · 20/06/2026 08:06

I think it’s to do with your face shape. I have a fringe, but really hate myself with my hair pulled up into a pony, I look really severe. If it’s hot and I go out anywhere I tend to put it in little plaits so it’s still framing my face at the side. Probably looks like I’m attempting to be a quirky teenager but 🤷‍♀️

Cleocaterpillar · 20/06/2026 08:05

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNR3GnvRM/

This was it. If you have a low cranial top then you get the Trunchbull effect (like me). I do a high, messy bun then fluff up the hair at the top of my head and add some face framing strands. It looks so much softer.

CheeseWisely · 20/06/2026 07:56

I just use my fingers to comb it back rather than a brush or comb, that seems to make it softer and a bit messy, which is the antithesis of Trunchbull.

Cleocaterpillar · 20/06/2026 07:52

I saw something on Tiktok about how the proportions of your face make a huge difference to what hairstyles look good. I don't remember what is was called but if you pull your hair back and see only forehead, then you need to add some height to the hair. I'll try to find the video!

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