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Original poster

Shall I go out on my own tonight

288 replies

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 05:52

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

OP posts:
BlakeTheBlackBird · 20/06/2026 09:37

How recently did you split up with the partner you had in your thread on the 14th?

CheddarBiscuit · 20/06/2026 09:35

I'd use the hotel but bot a club night.

I say this with no malice but I think you're creating a narrative in your mind about how you're an independent woman and nothing should stop you from going ahead with your dancing and hotel plan and if you happen to see him then that's out of your hands and you're an innocent party that got caught up in some fun.

But actually thats a lot of mind twisting to justify hoping to see a loser who sees you as a lined up opportunity to cheat.

TheAmberKoala · 20/06/2026 09:31

OP - I understood what you meant. It can be daunting to go to events alone, but its perfectly OK to. Ive done similar a couple of times when a friend couldnt go for whatever reason, and it was fine.
I also get when music is your thing, how much you can look forward to an event.
I hope you have/had a great time.

Calliopespa · 20/06/2026 09:31

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:17

It is nothing to do with wanting to meet the man & start something up. I'm not a home wrecker thank you very much.
When you say you would question my motives, do you mean you personally, or if you were the man?
I love the music they will play tonight & we usually end up just dancing in a circle with people we don't know.
I'll be out of my comfort zone. I'm also cross that because of yet another dick head man it's the woman who doesn't get to do what she wants. Why should I be the one to stop in & waste a hotel room? I have as much right to be there as him.

Show quote history

When you say you would question my motives, do you mean you personally, or if you were the man?

I think she meant both, and, I'm really sorry, but if I'm going to be honest, so do I.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 20/06/2026 09:30

Honestly go. Yolo. Dance, have fun, be free. Before I had kids I used to love flying solo.

HollyIvie · 20/06/2026 09:29

Just go and enjoy yourself!!

Monty36 · 20/06/2026 09:26

MickyMoonshine · 20/06/2026 09:19

Then what did you mean when you said she shouldn’t go out alone as she might attract unsavoury types looking for a women in her situation?

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I would have thought that sentence plain enough to read, digest and understand.

Cherrytree86 · 20/06/2026 09:26

All the posters clamouring to know OP’s age are interesting… as if there’s a cut off age where women shouldn’t go out and should be content with a cosy night in front of the telly, leaving going out to the younger folk… yeah, no

LuckyHazelFox · 20/06/2026 09:23

TheAverageJoanne · 20/06/2026 09:20

No, don't "let him make moves". For Christ's sake.

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I know - I read it as he wasn't in a relationship when I posted that.

TheAverageJoanne · 20/06/2026 09:20

LuckyHazelFox · 20/06/2026 05:56

I would go. Once you get there you will soon get talking to people. Let the man make the moves on you though. Have fun.

No, don't "let him make moves". For Christ's sake.

movemountains · 20/06/2026 09:19

OP in your other thread on this exact same topic you said Neither of us are single. It hasn't gone outside of the event & it won't; but if I'm honest he is making the event seem more exciting. Even if it doesn't go further I'm just going to look like trash aren't I.

Bit sad really isnt it?

MickyMoonshine · 20/06/2026 09:19

Monty36 · 20/06/2026 09:15

There is no need to make suggestions that I am making suggestions I have not made.

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Then what did you mean when you said she shouldn’t go out alone as she might attract unsavoury types looking for a women in her situation?

hellesbells · 20/06/2026 09:19

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:18

Maybe I have mis-read it; but I read it as sort yourself out, it's grotty & pathetic

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No that’s absolutely not what the poster said

Cherrytree86 · 20/06/2026 09:17

Elbreth · 20/06/2026 09:05

I'm wondering if you have kids lol. Sounds delightful to me.

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@Elbreth

plenty of people with kids would rather go out and dance than sit in with a takeaway!

Monty36 · 20/06/2026 09:15

MickyMoonshine · 20/06/2026 09:04

Is she incapable of looking after herself?
Are you suggesting women need to be accompanied at all times or be at risk of attracting ‘unsavoury types’?

Show quote history

There is no need to make suggestions that I am making suggestions I have not made.

Cherrytree86 · 20/06/2026 09:15

Monty36 · 20/06/2026 08:52

No. Not unless you want to attract unsavoury types who will be looking out for someone alone such as yourself.

@Monty36

no. We cannot curtail our lives because of stupid men.

unbuttonedowl · 20/06/2026 09:13

Go for the music, get a drink, have a dance. It's fun going out alone sometimes and you'll get talking to someone. If not just go back to hotel. If you see the dirty cheater creep, just nod and keep walking.

ThatsNicer · 20/06/2026 09:13

I'm also cross that because of yet another dick head man it's the woman who doesn't get to do what she wants. Why should I be the one to stop in & waste a hotel room? I have as much right to be there as him.

Many sympathies OP. You go out and enjoy.

WatchaDave · 20/06/2026 09:12

DidntLikeTheEnding · 20/06/2026 08:27

If you're referencing Only Fools and Horses you're clearly too old for all this shit!

Only fools is a classic for all ages!
I’m 32 with a 9 year old and we both love it 🤣 ..he’s too young to be chatting up birds and knockin ‘em bandy, mind you, but he’d definitely reference the show.

Mapletree1985 · 20/06/2026 09:07

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 05:52

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

Just go and have fun. Who cares what you look like? This guy flirted with and kissed another woman when he was in a relationship, so he hasn't got a leg to stand on when it comes to judging you. Go have fun, and go home when you stop having fun.

Elbreth · 20/06/2026 09:05

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:39

I can't think of anything more depressing than staying in a hotel room with a takeaway & a film, whilst people are out & having fun.
I've spent enough times on my own in hotel rooms when working away from home.

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I'm wondering if you have kids lol. Sounds delightful to me.

MickyMoonshine · 20/06/2026 09:04

Monty36 · 20/06/2026 08:52

No. Not unless you want to attract unsavoury types who will be looking out for someone alone such as yourself.

Is she incapable of looking after herself?
Are you suggesting women need to be accompanied at all times or be at risk of attracting ‘unsavoury types’?

notacooldad · 20/06/2026 09:04

Why should I be the one to stop in & waste a hotel room? I have as much right to be there as him.
Well fo then and handle the situation like an adult. No one is making you stop in.

StrawberryMatchaLatte · 20/06/2026 09:03

BlakeTheBlackBird · 20/06/2026 08:49

Pretty sure it's the same poster. Lots of use of '&' which is fairly distinctive

I've no issue with name changing but changing the details seems very disingenuous

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Yeah I agree, I can understand why people change minor details to avoid being recognised but changing relevant details is pointless because then the opinions you get from people aren't going to be relevant.

Mindtheagp · 20/06/2026 09:01

Go out, it sounds like you really want to. You can always leave and go home early if you feel out of sorts. It could work out, you could start chatting with a group and it could be a great night

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