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AIBU?

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Shall I go out on my own tonight

288 replies

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 05:52

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

OP posts:
Metalmotha · 20/06/2026 15:05

SisterMidnight77 · 20/06/2026 15:02

How would the ‘go and have fun’ folk feel if it was their boyfriend who was snogging random women and making it known he’ll be on a night out?

I’d dump the bloke, the OP going or not going is not going to change the fact he’s willing to cheat

Metalmotha · 20/06/2026 15:04

Yes go. Years ago o was in a similar position re a gig. I went by myself. It was so liberating, realised I never needed to be tied to anyone to do anything. I’ve been having the time of my life ever since. Now I fly to lots of gigs. Know lots of people there, will meet up, sometimes share a room but never tied to anyone, can do just as I please. Go for it and be liberated. A man wouldn’t think twice about it. Anyone having any negative opinion of you being there is not worth worrying about I doubt anyone will notice. Go and Dance lovely!

SisterMidnight77 · 20/06/2026 15:02

How would the ‘go and have fun’ folk feel if it was their boyfriend who was snogging random women and making it known he’ll be on a night out?

SisterMidnight77 · 20/06/2026 15:00

So now you know he’s a liar (by omission), how has he got anything to do with this night out? You mean, you might go for it? Have some standards.

MumOf4totstoteens · 20/06/2026 14:58

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:25

He’s basically telling you NOT to go
don’t
itll be embarrassing

Why should she listen to a man who has nothing to do with her? If he’s uncomfortable HE should not go! She’s free to go wherever she bloody well likes!

MumOf4totstoteens · 20/06/2026 14:56

I think you should go but avoid the man if he’s in a relationship. If you feel awkward you can just go back to your hotel and chill

Blades2 · 20/06/2026 14:53

Why ask if you’re being unreasonable to then argue why you’re not to each one that says you are?
oh and just because an indulgent night at home sounds shit to you, doesn’t mean your night out dancing with scumbag cheating men is other people’s ideas of fun :)

Iamacatslave · 20/06/2026 14:49

Go and have fun.

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 14:38

Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight.

Last month you asked him what his plans were for a month later?

ok so if you last had any contact with him a month ago… he’s probably forgotten about that fact that 4 weeks ago he had a song and confirmed his plan for tonight (a grotty cheater like this like probably be snogging part and parcel of every Saturday night). And 4 weeks later @Jammydodger70 … and zero contact? In your shoes I wouldn’t give a hoot what him and his mates thought of me.

However I still wouldn’t go to the club alone because personally that holds zero appeal to me and secondly there is the possibility of drama and… well, I take the approach that if silly drama like this can be avoided, then I’ll go with that option. Surely there’s other dancing venue in the area?

MickyMoonshine · 20/06/2026 14:21

AbsoluteHoot · 20/06/2026 13:34

I couldn’t go out to a bar on my own, let alone a club. What do you do, go onto the dance floor and start dancing alone? It’s like some sort of bad dream to me.

Yeah. Go to the bar and buy a drink. Chat to people and dance if you feel like it.
It’s very liberating!

MickyMoonshine · 20/06/2026 14:20

Why has my post calling out a misogynistic comment been deleted? Yet the original comment telling a woman to modify her behaviour because men might not be able to control their actions still stands?

AbsoluteHoot · 20/06/2026 13:34

I couldn’t go out to a bar on my own, let alone a club. What do you do, go onto the dance floor and start dancing alone? It’s like some sort of bad dream to me.

tilypu · 20/06/2026 13:30

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 13:22

However, me & friend fancied another night out tonight, so why not go to our favourite genre of music place

Yeah - she says that they don't usually do this every month as it's too expensive, but they were out last month and fancied going out again this month.

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 13:25

So you and him aren’t local to each other @Jammydodger70 if you’re staying at a hotel?

how did the messaging start?

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 13:24

So you and him aren’t local to each other @Jammydodger70 if you’re staying at a hotel?

WeatherOrNothing · 20/06/2026 13:23

I wouldn’t have went because I think people coming on there own dancing just by themselves look sad
and I would be weary of them.

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 13:22

However, me & friend fancied another night out tonight, so why not go to our favourite genre of music place

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 13:21

SomeGarlic · 20/06/2026 13:05

What? Where did she say they were at the hotel last night Confused

Jammydodger70 · Today 05:52
I have a hotel room booked for tonight

It's the first sentence of the OP.

She said they’ve booked an extra night this time

StayGoldenPonyGirl · 20/06/2026 13:19

Woah, some of these comments are egregious! Reading and comprehension skills at an all time low and self righteousness and misplaced vitriol at an all time high!

Hope OP comes back to update but I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't- she might as well have asked 3 day old road kill for its opinion.

Lottapianos · 20/06/2026 13:14

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:21

I did not know he was in a relationship until after he'd kissed me. I thought that was obvious from my op.

It was perfectly clear

Go dancing, ignore grotty cheater man, and have fun!

Heylittlesongbird · 20/06/2026 13:13

SomeGarlic · 20/06/2026 13:05

What? Where did she say they were at the hotel last night Confused

Jammydodger70 · Today 05:52
I have a hotel room booked for tonight

It's the first sentence of the OP.

I have a number of thoughts about OP, but the hotel room being tonight isn’t one of them. Surely she posted at 5.52 am this morning? So is writing about tonight, Saturday evening?

edited to clarify I am agreeing with somegarlic

SomeGarlic · 20/06/2026 13:05

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 12:47

So this is actually the second night you’ve had at the hotel. Has your sick friend gone home or she’s still staying at the hotel

What? Where did she say they were at the hotel last night Confused

Jammydodger70 · Today 05:52
I have a hotel room booked for tonight

It's the first sentence of the OP.

GertieLawrence · 20/06/2026 12:59

DidntLikeTheEnding · 20/06/2026 08:27

If you're referencing Only Fools and Horses you're clearly too old for all this shit!

Haha I just twigged about that too!

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 12:50

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:24

Erm, where does it say I was flirting & cheating with a man who I knew was in a relationship? If you read my op again, if indeed you have read it at all, you will see that he told me AFTER we had kissed 🙄
And no, my friend has not cancelled on me pretending to be sick. I have been to her house to check on her, so I know she is sick.

How have you been to her house to check on her when you said you stayed at the hotel last night with her @Jammydodger70 ?

MandemChickenShop · 20/06/2026 12:49

Does this fella play rugby?

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