Page 11 | Shall I go out on my own tonight

Jammydodger70 · 2026-06-20T04:52:46+00:00

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable. I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely. The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not! If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel. This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

MadinMarch · 20/06/2026 07:31

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:21

I did not know he was in a relationship until after he'd kissed me. I thought that was obvious from my op.

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It was obvious.
Go and enjoy yourself dancing, stay away from the bloke. Go back to the hotel and enjoy that when you've had enough of the club or don't feel comfortable in there (the club). You've got nothing to lose really and might have a fabulous night if you go.

skiprun · 20/06/2026 07:29

Why has ‘grotty’ become the buzzword of this thread?! 😂

op, I would try and find someone else to go with. I know you’ve said no one else could but just ask around on the off chance. If not, go alone. Have fun and fuck what anyone thinks!

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:29

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:18

Yeah, don’t go op
you’ll look desperate and stalker ish
in fact he’s practically telling you not to go himself

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Thank you. This is what I feel like deep down. I will feel better about going again, at a later date, when my friend is better. I was looking forward to going out, even on my own. It pisses me off that because of yet again another lying man, I don't feel like I'm able to.

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Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:25

He’s basically telling you NOT to go
don’t
itll be embarrassing

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:24

HighHeelsRedLips · 20/06/2026 07:18

Does your friend know that you’re flirting and being intimate with a man who is in a relationship? Is that why she cancelled on you with the sickness excuse?
You kissed him and let him walk you back to your hotel room. How long will it be until you invite him into your hotel room? Sounds sleazy and desperate.
Don’t be a gullible fool. You are a cheap thrill to him that’s all. If you start a relationship with him he will do the same to you one day. He will cheat on you behind your back like he is doing now with his current partner.
Is he worth it?
Is ruining your reputation worth it?
🤮

Erm, where does it say I was flirting & cheating with a man who I knew was in a relationship? If you read my op again, if indeed you have read it at all, you will see that he told me AFTER we had kissed 🙄
And no, my friend has not cancelled on me pretending to be sick. I have been to her house to check on her, so I know she is sick.

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HoraceCope · 20/06/2026 07:24

@HighHeelsRedLips you have misunderstood

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:22

HighHeelsRedLips · 20/06/2026 07:18

Does your friend know that you’re flirting and being intimate with a man who is in a relationship? Is that why she cancelled on you with the sickness excuse?
You kissed him and let him walk you back to your hotel room. How long will it be until you invite him into your hotel room? Sounds sleazy and desperate.
Don’t be a gullible fool. You are a cheap thrill to him that’s all. If you start a relationship with him he will do the same to you one day. He will cheat on you behind your back like he is doing now with his current partner.
Is he worth it?
Is ruining your reputation worth it?
🤮

That is a damn good point

HighHeelsRedLips · 20/06/2026 07:18

Does your friend know that you’re flirting and being intimate with a man who is in a relationship? Is that why she cancelled on you with the sickness excuse?
You kissed him and let him walk you back to your hotel room. How long will it be until you invite him into your hotel room? Sounds sleazy and desperate.
Don’t be a gullible fool. You are a cheap thrill to him that’s all. If you start a relationship with him he will do the same to you one day. He will cheat on you behind your back like he is doing now with his current partner.
Is he worth it?
Is ruining your reputation worth it?
🤮

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:18

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/06/2026 07:11

You’ve misread this one- she’s calling him a grotty cheater, not you. She says why do you care what he and his mates think, given he’s a grotty cheater.

So go, have some fun, avoid the grotty man! Just be careful at the walking home bit, in case he’s persistent.

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Maybe I have mis-read it; but I read it as sort yourself out, it's grotty & pathetic

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Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:18

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:14

In my op I stated that when I asked f he'd be at the club tonight, AFTER we kissed, his reply was that yes he would be, but he's in a relationship.

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Yeah, don’t go op
you’ll look desperate and stalker ish
in fact he’s practically telling you not to go himself

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:14

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:09

How do you know he’ll be at the club?

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In my op I stated that when I asked f he'd be at the club tonight, AFTER we kissed, his reply was that yes he would be, but he's in a relationship.

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tilypu · 20/06/2026 07:13

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:09

How do you know he’ll be at the club?

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Because last month, when they kissed, she asked him.

It's right there in the op!

Jeez op, I don't understand why you are getting such a hard time!

If it was me, I would try and find another reason to be there - something else locally to go to.

But failing that, yes, I would go. And I would do my best to avoid said man, and if he tried to speak to me say that in not interested in unavailable men.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/06/2026 07:11

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:29

Age is irrelevant. I go to this club once every couple of months. I do care what people think of me, that's just how I am.
I don't know why you're personally slating me, calling me grotty & pathetic. I'm not the one who's lying to a partner & leading other women on. Where in my post have I implied that I want to go out to see him again?

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You’ve misread this one- she’s calling him a grotty cheater, not you. She says why do you care what he and his mates think, given he’s a grotty cheater.

So go, have some fun, avoid the grotty man! Just be careful at the walking home bit, in case he’s persistent.

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:10

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:29

Age is irrelevant. I go to this club once every couple of months. I do care what people think of me, that's just how I am.
I don't know why you're personally slating me, calling me grotty & pathetic. I'm not the one who's lying to a partner & leading other women on. Where in my post have I implied that I want to go out to see him again?

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Why do you care what a grotty cheater and his mates think of you?

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:09

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:00

Can you show me the part of my posts where I've said I'm messaging him please? Especially the part where I said I'm still messaging him now I know he's in a relationship? We haven't even swapped phone numbers. We have been chatting/flirting face to face in the club, not on the phone.

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How do you know he’ll be at the club?

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:09

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:07

Why would you think that?

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I agree with that poster and I’d say… spidey senses!!

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 07:07

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:39

I can't think of anything more depressing than staying in a hotel room with a takeaway & a film, whilst people are out & having fun.
I've spent enough times on my own in hotel rooms when working away from home.

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oh ok if you spend your life largely alone then sure I get that.

although nightclub alone with grotty man cheater also there who I snogged the other night? I’d pay NOT to go

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:07

havingoneofthosedays · 20/06/2026 06:54

Can’t wait for the update, said man just ended back in the hotel room

Why would you think that?

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HoraceCope · 20/06/2026 07:01

if you go regularly then you will see people you have seen before, so thats ok
but make sure you can back to the hotel safely

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 07:00

BlueMum16 · 20/06/2026 06:49

Not sure why you are concerned what this man or his mates think.

It sounds like you want to go and would be comfortable alone. Go. Have fun. If you hate it go home early.

Stop messaging the man you know has a partner though. What he is doing has nothing to do with you. Once you knew he had a partner you should have stopped any further contact

Can you show me the part of my posts where I've said I'm messaging him please? Especially the part where I said I'm still messaging him now I know he's in a relationship? We haven't even swapped phone numbers. We have been chatting/flirting face to face in the club, not on the phone.

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havingoneofthosedays · 20/06/2026 06:54

Can’t wait for the update, said man just ended back in the hotel room

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/06/2026 06:51

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:17

It is nothing to do with wanting to meet the man & start something up. I'm not a home wrecker thank you very much.
When you say you would question my motives, do you mean you personally, or if you were the man?
I love the music they will play tonight & we usually end up just dancing in a circle with people we don't know.
I'll be out of my comfort zone. I'm also cross that because of yet another dick head man it's the woman who doesn't get to do what she wants. Why should I be the one to stop in & waste a hotel room? I have as much right to be there as him.

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The fact that he even crossed your mind made it sound like you cares what he thinks.

If you are going to go, have a good time and the fact this man is going to be there isn't impacting your decision to go, then of course you should go...have a great time and enjoy yourself, as a single person. If this club is something you enjoy, then you shouldn't miss out.

Its just weird that you were considering not going because a man in a relationship, who you say you want nothing more to do with, may think its strange you are there.

He shouldn't be factoring into your thoughts now you know he is in a relationship (other than thinking what a scumbag)

BlueMum16 · 20/06/2026 06:49

Not sure why you are concerned what this man or his mates think.

It sounds like you want to go and would be comfortable alone. Go. Have fun. If you hate it go home early.

Stop messaging the man you know has a partner though. What he is doing has nothing to do with you. Once you knew he had a partner you should have stopped any further contact

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/06/2026 06:43

Who cares how you look to this man and his mates? It doesn’t sound like they have sound judgement anyway considering the behaviour of the man. Was he worrying what people would think when he was kissing you whilst in a relationship?

Go, don’t give the man a second thought and don’t even look his way, find a group of women to dance with and just have fun! Just be mindful not to drink too much so you keep your wits about you.

Original poster

Jammydodger70 · 20/06/2026 06:39

Tepidwater · 20/06/2026 06:15

Personally I wouldn’t!

I would run in the deepest hottest bath, order takeaway, buy a film and have an utterly indulgent night

I can't think of anything more depressing than staying in a hotel room with a takeaway & a film, whilst people are out & having fun.
I've spent enough times on my own in hotel rooms when working away from home.

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