Did anyone stay together for the children and not regret it?

I think another decade is a long time to live through, before your kids may be looking at university or moving out.

I did it for three years and then we separated. The kids are fine, he is happier alone, and I am wildly happy.

I also don’t think it’s fair for him to say the ball is in your court. This is a momentous decision and should be made together if your marriage is beyond the point of repair. You two should both decide that and then decide together the next steps.

It’s an impossible position to be in and as someone who did leave I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I could rewind two years.

I left and I have to say I often regret it as it’s cost me so much emotionally and financially. As much as we’d become roommates he still was my person and no one else has compared and dating feels a horror show. The final detachment has been very painful. I have no safety net now, no second income to buffer me if I’m unwell or made redundant, in that sense it’s cost me my peace. I honestly feel like I’ve burned my life down for it to be worse for a while. It’s a lonely and scary place to be. Maybe I’ll get to the point of other posters who say it’s the best thing they ever did, and maybe it will be but be aware it may not feel like that for some time when you are in the thick of it.

In a way it was better for us to separate now rather than in a few more years time when one of us had had an affair or resentment meant we struggled to be civil. But if I could go back two years I’d throw my all into saving it if I knew what I know now.

You’d feel like you were living a prison sentence until your kids are old enough to cope with the separation? GCSE years aren’t good, a levels, university etc. it could be years.

Why is the ball in your court? It’s a bad idea, it’s not teaching your daughters anything good about healthy relationships and if one of you meets someone else it will end in disaster anyway. If you can already get on so well then you’d be better separating and having a collaborative healthy coparenting relationship.

I can't imagine living my life without some sort of intimacy. Not necessarily sex, but cuddles and general touching. I'd miss that.

I can't answer your question but that was my first thought.