AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

Oh bollocks is it. Pointing out that purposefully dressing in a way that displays your intimate areas to the general public is likely to result in sexual attention is not victim blaming. Better to ask why some teenage girls have such a desperate need for sexual attention to validate them.

The op being one of them?

So many posters have said that 'no one wants to see that' (meaning bums or knickers) - but one problem is that many men absolutely do want to see 'that', which is why they hang about around schools.

I think those girls are very aware about what is and isn’t appropriate!

It's bad enough for women teachers. So many girls wear those tube skirts which roll up when they sit down.
When they stand up for dismissal I make sure that I look away because of the underwear on display.

It’s reading threads like this that makes me so glad my teenage daughter is not in high school in the UK. Ridiculous trend. Schools are right to crack down on it. No pun intended.

Don’t make a fool of yourself by writing to the school. YABU, totally.

Male teachers having to constantly be on guard. They can't walk up the stairs behind girls, can't bend down to pick something up next to girls, can't even look at what Cassandra is doing under the desk with what is definitely not blatantly obviously a phone without fear of being accused of perving.

And they wonder why there's a struggle to recruit/ retain male teachers.

Sorry, this is naive BS.

Some girls do take the piss a bit and literally have arse cheeks on show. My DD’s are teens and think girls who do this are gross, I’m inclined to agree. They do it with shorts in the summer too.

This is victim blaming. Educate those giving the unwanted attention not to give it. But in a professional environment everyone should dress appropriately and that is the point the school is making

I quoted incorrectly

The wording is absolutely fine. It's not like the school pointed out what they actually wanted to say - that having your underwear on display in public is simply not a good idea.

I had to tell a boy last week to pull his trousers up. They were hanging down below his arse cheeks, with his underwear on full display. I am awaiting a complaint.

I've had these discussions with teenagers countless times over the last 2 decades.

• Being even more sexualised at a time when misogyny, unwanted comments and unwanted touching is a huge problem in schools. It shouldn't happen, of course, and it's being dealt with as and when, but you don't need to make the issue worse.
• Male teachers having to constantly be on guard. They can't walk up the stairs behind girls, can't bend down to pick something up next to girls, can't even look at what Cassandra is doing under the desk with what is definitely not blatantly obviously a phone without fear of being accused of perving.
• Being unable to participate in so many events because they cannot move naturally (oh the discussions when we had an inflatable slide for our summer fair).
• The risk of upskirting. A crime made so much easier when the skirt is basically a belt. Again, it shouldn't happen, but the reality is that it does.

Can I be honest. If my son is accidentally showing off his underwear, I tell him, he's embarrassed and he fixes it.

Its not a good idea because theyre likely to show their underwear when going up stairs or bending over, and also may get in trouble for breaking uniform rules, surely its an easy conversation for you to have? The same as you would speak to a son if he was wearing his trousers too baggy and showing his pants.

What would be those incorrect inferences?

People really need to be told why showing your private body parts and pants in public is inappropriate?!

Yet I bet, if they had a specific PSHE lesson - with these secondary school students - explaining the pants rule (maybe alongside how to brush your teeth properly and remembering to always wash your hands after you've been to the toilet), these parents who apparently can't see why this is inappropriate would be complaining to the school about patronising their teenager, wasting their time teaching them the obvious and - quite likely - accusing the teachers of being perverts who should have their hard drives checked for wanting to talk about pants and bums with teenagers.

I disagree that the wording is fine. The reason for that is not all parents will have the capacity to draw the correct inference. Some things need to be explained. Tell them why its not acceptable - rather than leave it open to incorrect inferences.

I work in a high school. Rolling is a huge problem I'm a 50 year old woman and I dont want to see everyone's underwear. How is it sexist?

The wording is fine. It clearly states that it is not acceptable, but it gives parents the choice of explaining why. I much prefer and support this approach , rather than other wordings I’ve seen.

Surely this is extremely obvious to most people - the parents receiving the letter, even if some of the children don't quite get it?

How can we have come to a place where teenagers not only freely walk around with their buttocks, knickers and even more intimate parts on display, but we then have to actually explain in detail to them AND to the adults charged with looking after them why this is not a good idea?

If somebody puts out a big sign warning 'wet paint' in public, nobody generally accuses them of being terribly remiss and unclear by not adding at the bottom of the sign exactly why you would want to avoid touching it.

Personally I wouldn’t complain. The school should have compared this to preparing children for a workplace, where there will be standards of acceptable dress. And that school uniform standards are one way of preparing pupils for the wider world early etc.

It's strange because we live in a world that's stuffed full of outrageous male entitlement; yet this is one of the rare occasions when it goes the other way.

Arguments about whether men and boys are perverts, or why should anybody have the right to tell me what I can wear, or they shouldn't be looking, or whatever... these are all needless distractions.

The simple response is who on earth do you think you are to feel entitled to walk around in public flashing everybody and forcing people to see your bum, underwear or worse?

Even aside from the basic fact that you're at an institution that has a compulsory uniform, so you don't get to be special and just decide that you will make your own alternative choice. If they specify a skirt of a certain minimum length, then one that is clearly far shorter than that is no more acceptable than turning up in, say, double denim, or an orange boiler suit, or a bikini; because they are emphatically not an allowable variant of the uniform.

As for upskirting, surely if we acknowledge that it's a creepy, horribly invasive crime for somebody to commit, why would it not follow that it's also clearly wrong to force somebody to unwittingly and unwillingly do it, when they're just innocently walking along behind you?

I dont think you are being unreasonable in seeking to highlight their unclear wording - they could have been clearer and explained it is about dignity and inappropriate and unsuitable exposure of bottoms

Yes, this. It seems absolutely bonkers (and somewhat egocentric) when somebody says to a very large group "IF you do this, you need to stop it" and then people start frothing about how dare people tell them off for something they haven't done!

I wonder if these people also take offence at the signs in supermarkets saying "Shoplifters: we always prosecute" - as though they assume that, because they happen to have seen the sign, it's a personal accusation?!