AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

You should have set a deadline for you sister to make a choice about taking dn. I wouldn't charge the bf as it was only going to waste anyway. Would have been nice if dsis2 or bf had offered you something but sounds like he only went because you couldn't. Your family sounds really bad at organisation and communication unfortunately.

I wouldn’t expect payment. I have gifted show tickets and concert tickets if I have been unable to attend. It’s better than going to waste. Your chances of getting the full asking price for a single ticket are negligible and so it is better to do something nice for someone else.

I think the lesson here would have been to offer the tickets for sale to family and then no takers then sell wider (if permitted)

Definitely not ok to expect payment without prior discussion

So unreasonable. If I hadn’t been organised and I’d double booked myself, I absolutely would not charge niece, sisters boyfriend or any family for my ticket.

No i wouldn't expect to be paid. You hadn't sold it, it would have gone to waste.

Asking for payment is likely to cause much more trouble than it’s worth.

The problem I have with this is you were prepared to accept the ticket money had gone, at the point the concert happened, you thought no one had bought your ticket and it was just going to be an empty seat - and you were ok with that as you didn’t try to sell on the ticket in good time or push your other sister to pay for the ticket you’d held for DN.

In that situation, I think it’s fine for the boyfriend to just go for free.

Why the snidey comment addressed to me ?
My post was actually meant to be sympathetic to OP.

I think neither of her sisters come out of this well. The first sister for messing OP around. The second sister because even if her boyfriend was ill mannered enough not to offer payment for the ticket then she should have been reimbursing OP.

It waz a genuine question as to whether this is the way her family normally treat her because they do sound very dismissive of her.

Yabu because if you wanted the money and to sell it you should have done that.

You had a year to decide.

Tbh it sounded like your sister wasn't that arsed to go, not enough to buy the ticket.

The money was spent and you weren't intending to recover it (because you didn't pin down a decision to sell and pursue it) so the money was already spent. It doesn't really matter who did or didn't use it - it wasn't you and the money was gone at the point you didn't resell.

It was on you to say to DS look if you don’t want the ticket by ? date I will try and sell it elsewhere. You didn’t so what do you expect?

And if this had happened and he then said he wasn't paying you would rather the ticket went to waste? Strange attitude!

But as you say, he has no interest in it. The alternative would have been it got wasted so what's the point of that? He went but not because he would have actually bought a ticket. He was led to believe it was going spare.

You should have tried to sell it yourself and just told your sister to say yes or no to the niece within a certain time then you're selling it.

I personally cringe when I see people exchanging money over tickets they pass on as they are no longer able to attend an event. If you cannot go because of x,y,z the ticked should be passed on as a gift in my opinion.

Yes, you are being incredibly unreasonable to expect him to pay for a ticket to a gig that he wasn’t particularly interested, or enthused about, to begin with. This ticket would have gone to waste if he hadn’t accompanied your DSIS to the gig - and I’m getting the vibe you’d have preferred it to go to waste rather than someone having what you perceive to be a ‘free lunch’ on your dime.

I of to agree with this. 😇

OP I also think to avoid this scenario, I would've been more proactive at sorting the situation out, given Dsis a deadline etc.

Having said that, if I was on the receiving end, I would've spoken to you about it, not just accepted the ticket without thanks or discussion!

Personally if I double booked i wouldn't expect a family member to pay for the ticket. I do think your dsis should have let you know in a reasonable time if your niece was going to use it or not. I definitely wouldn't have asked for payment from the boyfriend who took it at the last minute as it would have been wasted anyway if he didnt go.

You only found out after he used the ticket?

So presumably - as you can't sell a ticket for an event that has already happened - you didn't intend to sell it and preferred to see the ticket wasted.

By your own account, your sister's boyfriend wasn’t particularly bothered about the concert and only went so he could spend the evening with her.

You are being very unreasonable.

He did a good thing, using a ticket that would otherwise be wasted and accompanying your sisters who you let down by double-booking.

If you wanted money because you knew months in advance you couldn’t go then you should have worked this out all much earlier rather than leaving it to when you were on holiday to worry about it. I assume you didn’t actually buy the ticket yourself and one of your sisters did and you paid them back so that they had it to give away? Events are usually very strict on tickets being in the correct name. So if you’d sold it whilst away your sisters would have had to arrange to either meet someone at the venue or arrange the transfer somehow?

Ultimately it almost sounds like you’d rather it had gone to waste than someone use it? It sounds like the poor bloke didn’t really want to go but got rather dragged!! I very much doubt he’d have paid then! So how else would it have been sold so late? BUT it would have been polite to let you know they couldn’t see what else to do and to thank you for the ticket I guess.

It was going unused - we often give away spare tickets rather than see them go to waste. I think it’s fine, personally. As you said, he was t even that fussed.

Sounds like the communication was poor all round.

I do think your sister was a bit cheeky to take your ticket for her boyfriend without even asking you as a courtesy, but I also think it’s unreasonable of you to expect him to pay. You were happy to let the ticket go to waste, you took no proactive action to try and sell it - so it seems pretty churlish that you would then have insisted on payment if your sister had asked you about using the spare ticket for her partner.

Next time, if you’re bothered, sell the ticket. If a family member expresses an interest give them a clear deadline to purchase before you’ll sell on the open market.

If you told him he had to pay it sounds likely he wouldn’t have went and it would of went to waste anyway so not sure why you expect any payment

You must bring so much sun and sunshine to your family with your sweet and positive outlook.

Poor OP, is not so fortunate.

With so much evidence in her post that her family deliberately sets out to treat her dismissively. I would say it's a clear case of "LTBs".

I couldn’t have expected payment but would have set a deadline for sister to answer so you cpuld have sold it. I’ve given away tickets before on fan forums when I had a spare one cos someone couldn’t go, so not pre ious about tickets. But your sister was rude

The ship has sailed if you want to get any payment now. You should have been clear from the start that you wanted money.

It seems a bit mean spirited that you dropped out from going, didn't make any effort to find someone else to use the ticket and now you are upset that the boyfriend went last minute.

The fault lies with you for messing your sister around and then not doing/saying anything afterwards.

YABU it was going to waste anyway, you didn’t have time to sell it so why not just give it to him?