AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

So you would rather the ticket went to waste instead of her boyfriend coming along?

Your lack of proactivity is at fault here.

The way you are writing this to make it clear BF wasn’t bothered about going screams reverse.

YABU - the ticket was down the drain anyway. He only went along because it was spare. Bit graspy of you to expect payment for it.

Most of the people on here have responded reasonably and proportionately.

As far as I can see, no one except you is suggesting OP's family is in any way "always" dismissive or unreasonable in their conduct towards OP. Not even OP herself.

You seem determined to make a case for OP's family being unusually unreasonable in their conduct towards her with nothing substantial to back it up.

On the contrary, three sisters arranging to enjoy a concert together suggests a close and mutually cooperative relationship, which on this occasion went wrong due to OP getting her dates mixed up.

If you are determined to find a villain in this story, OP would be the obvious choice, but in all honesty, there is no villain, just three usually loving sisters and an unfortunate set of circumstances.

You should have been clearer at the outset when you realized you had double booked.
If you wanted to sell the ticket you should have told your sister that, offered her first refusal, given her a certain length of time to say yes or no and then sold it elsewhere if she didn't want it.

I think that was really rude of your sister!

She delayed giving you an answer about DN preventing you from selling the ticket. She then gifted it onto the boyfriend without even telling you or thanking you nevermind paying you! Did she realise you expected payment for DN's use?

Why couldn't it have been sold at that late stage?

So, you would have preferred your ticket going to waste and not being used. It was up to you to sell, and if you hadn’t bothered to do so by the concert, you would have preferred an empty seat? That’s your prerogative, but I think it’s really odd.

This one is on you. Should have been more organised.

He just used it so it wouldn’t go to waste. Would you rather it went in the bin as you have pointed out you couldn’t sell it? You

I think choosing to go to a concert yourself is very different to being left to go to one yourself as sister double booked and then sold her own ticket.

This is about communication. If you wanted to resell the ticket you should have said to DS1: "I need an answer by X date, otherwise I'm going to sell the ticket".

Then if you didn't hear from her by that date, you sell the ticket.

You didn't do this. Time ran by. She was busy or didn't know how to solve the problem - which was YOUR problem by the way.

You need to take responsibility for this. The ticket was unsold.

An unbothered person used the ticket so it didn't go to waste.

Would you have preferred he didn't go so you could know no one had fun at your expense?

That's just weird.

Put it down to experience and learn to communicate better. You created the problem, you needed to solve the problem.

Other people stepped in and made the best of a poor situation.

You can't now blame everyone else. It's not their fault you double booked yourself.

Learn to take accountability and can I say, would you trade your relationship with your sister for this amount of money?

Is she worth £100? Or whatever it was?

Or is she more important than that? Your posts are straight up super immature. You seem to want to value your family poorly and you want to blame other people for your mistakes and then make sure no one was having a good time while you messed up.

Poor show OP, a very poor show. Grow up.

Well if you think her first sister not getting back to her about the ticket despite repeated requests by OP isn't ignorant behaviour you must have very low standards when it comes to common courtesy and consideration. No wonder people are so rude to strangers, friends and colleagues if this is normal behaviour in the family..And not offering to reimburse OP is just plain rude.

Why you have taken such exception to me posing a perfectly reasonable question to OP is a mystery to me. Unless if course you are just wanting to be unpleasant for the hell of it,

YABU, you double booked and that was your fault. If you wanted to sell it you should have let your sister know asap and done this from the start, although I think that would also be a bit off since your sister booked thinking she had someone to go with. I think the only really reasonable thing in this situation was for you to give up your ticket for free to whomever your sister wanted to go with as you’ve cancelled on her after she bought a ticket.

No you can’t expect him to pay for it. The lack of communication between you & your other sis reference your niece is the issue.

What on earth came up that you would waste an expensive concert ticket? If you were bothered about the money you should have asked if they want to buy it (your sisters) and given a deadline before reselling. You were very passive and would not have had time to sell it so they probably thought why waste it.

I’d let it go. I have given away (for free) long-booked tickets to friends when dh has later been unable to go. Better than wasting them

Me too. For friends and relatives I 'offer' them, not try to sell them.

Id never even think about charging, I'd just be glad it went to someone who could use it. You do all need to work on your communication with them though. You should of given your sister a deadline for getting back to you and said no problem if not but you'll be selling it online if her daughter doesn't want it. She should of got back to you though and communicated with you and not left you hanging. The other sister should of checked in with you before assuming her boyfriend could have the ticket. Just bad communication all round. This particular hill isn't one to die on, they are your sister's so you just need to move on. Just be mindful of better communication and boundaries next time.

No. Sorry but I’d have given her a time frame to ensure you had time to sell it

So if you didn't know he was going, you just assumed your ticket was going unused? I don't understand why it matters to you that someone did use it in that case? You weren't expecting to get any money back from it. If he wasn't really that bothered about going, I expect he'd have said no to paying for it anyway and would have just not gone.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc

Why didn't you check instead of waiting, it would've taken seconds on Google.

I wouldn’t take a penny in those circumstances. And I’m hardly loaded.
Obviously if it was a high demand ticket like Coldplay then the ticket agent would have sold it on for you easily.
It is not as if this guy was desperate to go and took advantage. He just accompanied your sister so that the seat wasn’t empty.
It was you who double booked. You still got to go to your own event and your main concern here is a token payment?
Joyless.

There is nothing in anything OP has said that suggests her family is or always is "dismissive" of her. Your post isn't supportive, it's a direct dig at her family for being "dismissive" and an implied dig at her for "always" putting up with it.

At any time after she realised she had double booked she could have sold the ticket. She chose not to. Her sister's boyfriend used the ticket rather than waste it.

No one has "dismissed" anyone. OP's family has done nothing wrong and your nasty dig at OP having a family that might "always" be "dismissive" of her was unnecessary.

It's DS1's fault that this happened because she was so careless about letting you know in good time. If you're looking for reimbursement it should be from her.

Yabu
You had plenty of time to sell the ticket but didn't.
You still hadn't done anything with it 2 days before the concert, at which point it was just going to be wasted surely?

So no, i wouldn't expect payment

You had a year to sort this out, you cant expect payment when you left it that late.
You should have messaged DSis a month before at least saying "can you let me know by tomorrow if you're buying the ticket for DD as otherwise ill need to sell it online"