AIBU to wonder about a 'curfew' for 18-year-olds after clubbing?

That is madness?

You need to cut back on your drug use.

The first and only time dd went out clubbing whilst at home was the same day I came out of hospital after several weeks so was a bit relying on her to help me the next day. Was happy for her to have got out and had fun though.

They got dropped off by friends parent in town gone 11 and got back gone 4. I didn't sleep a wink until she got home, but that's on me.

So glad she went though as much preferred her going with a trusted friend from home before uni. She's not the going out partying type but goes out occasionally at uni and I feel better knowing she had that tiny bit of experience before going.

If it was a regular thing, I'd be setting expectations, not a curfew as can see you are doing so out of care.

Are you for real?

I was a "good" teenager - worked hard at sixth form; highest grades; group of polite, respectful friends; strong relationship with my family - and still rolled in at 4/5am some nights.

No drugs involved, just club hopping until close, a takeaway and a taxi home.

We're not talking about a jolly to a pub that kicks out at midnight; these are night clubs. The clue is in the name. They are meant to be attended over night.

Omg are you honestly joking? Loads of young ones stay up to that time drinking and not drinking, my son stayed up to them during Covid, he certainly wasn’t taking drugs, Jesus Christ

Also I don’t think it’s possible to stay up that late without potentially taking drugs so maybe that a conversation to be had

I think 5am is a bit late maybe 2/3am but also they are under your roof so should abide by your rules!

When I was 18 I stayed out alll night and half of Sunday sometimes as long as I text and let my Mum know I was actually alive that was ok.

frequently rolled out of a taxi Sunday afternoon in last nights clothes LOL.

5am is reasonable aslong as they try not to make too much noise (My mum would laugh at me writing this as I made plenty of noise!)

I appreciate as a Mum its hard not to worry though!

No, a request to consider their mum's feelings while they live with her. She can't make them do anything but she can negotiate.

So a midnight curfew !

Other than one who got married, I can't seem to get rid of them in their 20s and they like living at home, so I think we're doing just fine. They don't get drunk, so I've never had drunken giggling.

No curfew but you could explain that you wait up for them so can they be in by midnight while they are staying with you, and wait until they're at uni to be out half the night.

You’re not being unreasonable, you just have to learn from this and understand it’s not like your childhood

I have twins who turn 18 in Jan. I won't be giving a curfew, reason being, I didn't have one at that age, and just wouldn't have come home if my parents had tried to enforce one.

They need to be courteous when coming in, although I would be tempted to offer to pick them up the first time or so, just so I could have some fun conversations with them!

No I just had a key. We did have a rule though, all stay together. Taxis home together… nobody gets left alone.

No curfew, but I’d expect anyone living in my house to let me know when they plan to be home and where they are going so I don’t worry/ do worry if needed.

I'm sorry some people are being a little unkind in their responses; you don't seem like a crazy, overbearing Mum, just someone with no reference point.

In my experience, most 18 year olds don't arrive at the club until gone 11pm. Back in the day, my friends would stay out until 4am-ish, but as an absolute lightweight drinker, I was in bed with toast by 2am at the latest most nights!

Encourage your girls to text you when they're en route home and make it clear that you'll be there for them, without judgement, if any problems arise. You can't give them curfews and stop them from living their lives, but you can have open and honest communication and guide them in the right direction.

Home at midnight 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I swear people live on a completely different planet.

Oh I read one last year a lady asking about leaving her 15 minding her10 year old while her and hubby went to evening parties of wedding for 4-5 hours. Some absolute crazy OTT woman replied saying there’s absolutely no way she would even leave her 17 (2 months from 18) 15 and 12 year old home alone that she’d have an adult minding them!! There’s 17 year olds with their own babies fgs and she couldn’t trust her 2 teens with a 12 year old!! She said what if a fire broke out or someone got fell and got injured. I was like ehh that’s on you then if an almost adult is that clueless they couldn’t handle a few hours and even the 12 year old should be well capable of being independent enough for a few hours and call if there’s an emergency. I could trust my 8 year old in all honesty, wouldn’t leave him alone obviously and don’t need to as I have teens and adult kids but judging by some parents reaction to leaving their teens I’d say he’s more independent and got more common sense than their kids who are twice his age 😂

They’re adults. They shouldn’t have a curfew at all. If you wanted to set rules about coming home, that should have been done before they turned 18. The fact that you had to be home by 9 p.m. as a child doesn’t matter now — it was a different time. They’re going to university in September, yet you haven’t given them the independence they’ll need to function in the adult world.

Good god let them have a good time. As soon as I left school at 16 for college, I was out till 3am.

Mine are now 25 & 21, both mostly living away.
All I asked is that they sent a text to let me know if they were coming home.
Also, if arrangements changed let me know.
It worked reasonably well, clubs go on far later, really only starting when I was going to bed.
You will need to work with your girls, & decide, if they can’t get a cab, can they phone you?
It’s a challenging time, but lovely to know they have nice friends and a good social life.
I love having adult children.

When I was 18 I lived at university and did whatever I wanted. My parents didn’t have a curfew for me on the nights I stayed at home and I was 18 so long as I told them what time I was roughly coming home and so long as I texted if I wasn’t coming home

Yeah ofcourse I just can’t imagine making their social life about me and making them feel like they can’t live or do as they may want. Some young adults might be fine on a curfew but then others might not especially if their friends aren’t. To be honest my biggest worry isn’t about the time they come in it’s about the people in the country that want to harm women etc or cause fights with men/boys

12 is ridiculous.

They are adults, clubs open about 11pm, close at 3/4pm. Thats what i done back in the day. To be fair I had my own flat at 18. Totally normal, let them enjoy the next few years of their youth.