To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

I've been reading this thread and thought it's not often I'm lost for words. Thank you for summarising exactly what I was thinking. If I have a one thing to add it is despite the inevitable suffering we all experience at different points in life, the times I have felt the most contented is when I have made a difference to someone else's life when they are struggling. This plus the reciprocal love of my husband & family & special times together. Everything else positive in life is a bonus.

I dont think whether they pay tax has fuck all to do with it. Theres plenty of people who don't pay tax living very difficult lives.

Yes, life can be a drudge but there is always the chance to chose joy. Unless you are having a major depressive episode. In which case, hopefully the people around you can inspire some joy until you get can do it yourself.

Who told you life had to have a purpose? Consider the lilies of the field and all that.

If you think about it, there's a deep arrogance to the idea that any individual exists for a 'reason'. Question is, now that you have an existence, what are you going to do with it? To be fair, 'Be miserable and moan about everything' is as valid a choice as any other.

You're not the only one @MustTryHarderAndHarder - I didn't have children for similar reasons. Plus, the thought of having them made me want to have a nap. It's just as well really as I don't think I'd have been a fit parent.

My advice to @CurdinHenry, is:

1. Get yourself a 30 year alcohol addiction and then recover from it.
2. Start being grateful for anything you can think of that can be construed as positive.
3. Lower your expectations.
4. Don't take yourself too damn seriously.

I also find my very dark, cynical sense of humour helps too.

I couldn't read this without extending my sympathy. Nobody but those who have been through this can possibly understand how it feels to lose a child. You sound like a wonderful example of resilience in the face of true adversity.💕

I get that you feel a bit shit about the whole thing. Who doesn’t? It’s a grind. But then 16th peasants had it worse. Life is still worth living. Look to the smaller things. Put down social media. Enjoy a beer on a summers day. Be in that moment, and only that moment. Ignore the shit. Or what else?

I do kind of agree but this is a shit show of our own making. We have evolved too far to be happy. We are not designed to have the complexities of what we have to deal with on a daily basis. It’s completely unnatural. I can honestly say (and I realise I sound like a mad hippy here), that I managed to shake off my depression of many years by working for myself in a job which involves being outside all year round. Watching the seasons changing, encountering nature and being alone in my thoughts, it’s grounding and good for the soul. It’s still a far cry from living the kind of life that humans lived for millions of years, but it’s helped.

I think people just have a natural level of resilience and when tested some can come through situations better than others. I have survived having a child unexpectedly die, no illness no warning and the Police turning up to inform me of her death. It’s not like I had a solid foundation as I had a very tough childhood. I had a period of depression but refuse to feel sorry for myself.

Ironically, this thread is so life affirming, it’s strangers agreeing and disagreeing and triggering each other and getting annoyed, and all because we seek connection with each other, and connection is what makes this life all a bit more bearable.

My comment here excludes people who’ve lost their partners or young family members, or otherwise gone though extreme hardship, but I do think in the UK we’re an entitled and moany bunch.

its not hard to really. Posts about feeling depressed will attract other depressed people to click on it and subsequently vote. MN votes are not a Nat rep on people’s feelings.

And honestly, my heart goes out to all of you who are struggling. Please do try and seek help because there’s lots out there. Life shouldn’t be a horrific struggle to find joy

At all stages of life, I have found the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff, but happiness is not a steady state, it's just something that happens now and then.

you and your people are lucky

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Yes. Exactly this. Sometimes, we just are unlucky to experiences terrible things that make a huge impact on how enjoyable life is. But I think it is really dependent on the individual as to how they cope, in a positive or negative response. I guess high pain threshold, general outlook, financial support etc all make a huge difference too.

Life is indeed what you make it. I had a baby in 1999 and 1 month later my mother died. In 2004 I had cancer, and survived the brutal treatment, and then again in 2015 I had another primary cancer. More terrible treatment. But I am still here. I lost some good friends to cancer, and I remember them with fondness, and great gratitude that I survived. My useless husband (married 1997) left in 2020 to live with his "long-term girlfriend", (all my fault dontcha know) and finally in 2025 I managed to get my long awaited divorce. I take 20+ tablets every day to keep me alive. But I love life. I love it more now I am not carrying the mental weight of my ex. I discovered more spare money when I wasn't paying for the ex and now go to the theatre/opera/comedy shows every month. I get the cheapest tickets so far in advance that it is a surprise when yhe event comes around. My baby is now a grown-up daughter who is a friend and accompanies me to the theatre. I take pleasure in small things, and my cats make me laugh every day. My life has not, by any measure, been easy. But, and I simply cannot stress this more, I am still here, still (mostly) functional, not in great health, but passable, still enjoying my life. I don't concentrate on what I cannot do, but on enjoying what I can. Life is precious, don't moan it away.

As much as i loved life as a child, and was incredibly fortunate to survive being born 3 months prematurely, I had my carefree, prime rude health years a decade ago. Since a head injury and post concussion syndrome before being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic, and now perimenopause, life feels a slog, and the banal nature is very much enhanced.

(I guess all my reading of Camus' L'Etranger for French A'Level should have told me something...)

I find my glass half full moments in my children, the beauty of nature (birdsong is a favourite) and (ahem) chocolate 🍫 😆😳

Life is short. It's definitely not an easy ride for some of us, but I think the key is gratitude.

We don't sail through. We have the problems (often more of them), we just enjoy the living and don't whine as much 🤷

My life is lovely.

Despite my husband surviving cancer and my mum dying.

Nevertheless, I live in a lovely rural community and am sitting in total peace and quiet outside in the garden now having had a gorgeous day and theatre tonight. Now with a fabulous view of an inky sky and shadowy trees and looking forward to spending time in the garden tomorrow.

I take the positives where and wherever I can.

Currently 59% to 41% in the poll agreeing with the OP though...explain that.

Tell me more. I will shortly be 50!

I feel like you may be the first person to put into words exactly what i think of life. But, say it out loud and theres just concern or misunderstandings.

Edit for typo

LOL, good one.

Eh? This post is packed full of people saying life is hard, it throws curveballs, sometimes it’s shit.

But we still are happy and love living.

Where are you seeing people insisting life is some kind of Disney movie? quote one post where someone has said this

accept it. Most people are broadly happy and enjoy their lives - even though it’s not always perfect. We have laughter and love and those moments where everything feels amazing.

Do I think people don't verbalise any thoughts contrary to life being beautiful and amazing without fear of being labelled mentally ill? Absolutely-as evidenced by this thread already.