To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

I think there's there’s an important distinction between happiness and pleasure.

People on the whole (if they’re in a position to) plan & do pleasurable activities. I don’t think this is happiness but I think people convince themselves it is (and like to document it on social media, but that’s a whole other post).

Yes, i loved life so much before perimenopause kicked in, and when I was in rude health a decade ago before I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome (and was then injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic that gave me a movement disorder).

I'm certain if I'd not been so unwell, I'd be thinking life was still peachy.

I disagree. The same way motherhood is not for someone, life can be not for someone. It is a chore, a tedious drag and add in chronic pain, illnesses etc etc it feels more like a sentence (a life sentence). There is no easy way to opt out once you are in.

The only thing I’d say is that it is individual how we experience and feel it. Some people obviously enjoy it but others clearly don’t. I think religion was a great tool to convince the masses they should be grateful for their lot and shame them out of thinking anything that would make the current system crumble; slaves obey your masters, workers obey your bosses, pay taxes, and propagate so that there will be future workers to carry on this existence.

Not helpful, but feeling this way is as old as time: Accidie (also spelled acedia) is an archaic term for a state of listlessness, apathy, or spiritual sloth. It describes a heavy, inert feeling of not caring or losing interest in one's obligations, work, or spiritual condition.

Ok, but that's a specific situation, isn't it? There is a big difference between 'life is objectively shit' and 'motherhood isn't for everyone'. I'm someone who was never cut out to be a mother. Hence, I never became one. There is no reason nowadays for women (or anyone) to have children they don't want, at least not in most of the developed world.

I don't think the OP is really in a dark place, I think they just started a philosophical discussion about the general futility of life, didn't they?

I presume OP must be in a very dark place at the moment (otherwise she wouldn't have posted this)..so I wouldn't dream of kicking her while she's down

At least you admit that this outlook is a result of mental illness, rather than being reality.

....says someone who has never suffered with clinical depression

No I think just like "regretful parents" especially "regretful mothers" it is a social taboo. I have always thought that life was not a gift but I accept others think differently.

I am heartened to know others feel the same way (probably as much as mothers who found they did not enjoy being mothers did when they saw others do feel the same way and were only afraid to say so).

@CurdinHenry you choose your own path in life.

If your life is shit then that's due to choices you are making. Don't blame your parents.

You can choose to carry on feeling life is shit or you can make some changes. Big changes. Small changes. That's up to you. Don't wait for life to come to you.

My life is tough but I love life. I have found some great people and learned (the hard way) not to let others drag you down.

I'm sorry but you shouldn't be telling people that life is objectively bad. If you feel that way, it is a symptom of mental disease. Nothing at all like telling people to stick out a bad marriage.

It’s all relative, isn’t it. I don’t have children or any sick/dying relatives, so career problems are the worst thing that could happen to me right now. I could let my world collapse and wallow in self-pity, or I could focus on areas of my life that aren’t a shitstorm and find joy there. I choose the latter.

That being said, I do accept that that choice is perhaps easier for me (glass half full person, always have been) than it might be for others, who are prone to depression, anxiety, etc.

I actually take a keen interest in antinatalism and the work of David Benatar and find this a very interesting discussion. My view is life may not be worth starting, but we have no choice in this therefore once we’re here, it’s worth continuing and making the most of life.

There is no point to living and life is more of a drag than it is a pleasure.

we’ll change your life then @berlinbaby2025. You can literally change it tomorrow. I’m an absolute nihilist and agree with the first point - which makes the second point easy to deal with. What would make your life more a pleasure than a drag? Quitting your job and going to live on a beach in Bali? Joining a commune and living off the land? Moving to a windswept Scottish Island? Or just not doing all those ‘draggy’ things and doing small things you enjoy. Today, I’ve said fuck it to my admin list and am chilling under my sun shade. Whatever it is. Just do it

No we should be allowed to talk about this. If people think it's bringing them down even though they insist nothing could challenge their view on life then they simply shouldn't read it.

And why don't we tell people to stick a job or marriage out? Just change your mindset! So your husband is lazy and selfish, other women have it worse! Just suck it up! See how that works...

@CurdinHenry you choose your own path in life.

If your life is shit then that's due to choices you are making. Don't blame your parents.

You can choose to carry on feeling life is shit or you can make some changes. Big changes. Small changes. That's up to you. Don't wait for life to come to you.

My life is tough but I love life. I have found some great people and learned (the hard way) not to let others drag you down.

OP, if you are not already writing for a living, you should be.
I must be a bit sick, I am really enjoying this thread.
Nihilists unite!

What a lot of misery guts there are on this thread. I think that part of it is a (maybe unconscious) desire to bring others down and tell them that their joy isn't real, which is meanspirited. If you are a meanspirited person, then you will never be happy.

@CurdinHenry you choose your own path in life.

If your life is shit then that's due to choices you are making. Don't blame your parents.

You can choose to carry on feeling life is shit or you can make some changes. Big changes. Small changes. That's up to you. Don't wait for life to come to you.

My life is tough but I love life. I have found some great people and learned (the hard way) not to let others drag you down.

OP would it make any difference to know that it is a miracle you’re here at all? You’re the result of one egg meeting one out of possibly 300 million sperm. Had it been a different sperm, then…no you.

I was responding to a post by the OP, who apparently is not suffering from depression.

No, I have never had it and agree that I am lucky. I do have one friend who suffers from it, but even she seems to be able to find joy at times and I can't imagine her making a post like the original one, which seems to be from someone who simply can't be bothered looking for the good things in life.