To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

Life is so random. The chances of us ending up here are vanishingly small, so as we’ve made it this far, we might as well do the best we can with it for the nanosecond we’re here. We’re all in the same boat - isn’t that a comfort?

That's ours in the morning. They kept us going through lockdown. All the bad news then open the shed and you get this reaction. You have to smile.

Oh this is FABULOUS! I love it, thank you 😊

Thank you for your rational, sensible reply. It's great to hear from a poster who is genuinely empathetic and good, unlike that one who didn't care (or want to hear about) people who were giving their own health and life experiences. As you say, they have perhaps not even tried to consider different ways, or they just enjoy the superiority complex.

Yes, I definitely had good intentions, but perhaps it wasn't the thread to add my views! 😳😕

Every morning our goats run out of their shed full of enthusiasm for the day.
Seriously enjoy their breakfast even though it's just the same as every day, see their field as some great adventure even though they have been in the same field all their lives, have fun chasing each other and play fighting, will sit facing into the sun for hours on their own doing nothing but content in their own company. Sometimes huddle together and sleep. They will give anything a go once and if they like it do it again, if not they don't do it again. They are very sociable and self confident but take no shit of anybody. They are dedicated parents but give their kids extreme independence. They know their place and role in the herd and accept it.
So the Goat attitude to life is:
Get joy in the familiar don't overthink things,
Try new things but don't persist with things you don't like,
Be part of a herd but enjoy being alone,
Take your responsibilities in your herd seriously but dont overburden yourself,
get joy in seeing your children or family gain their independence,
Respect yourself and others and don't be with others that put you down or are negative.
It seems to work for them.

I'm sure you had good intentions to help people understand when you shared. Some people just don't want to see, for whatever reason, or can't see outside their little world. I'm not sure what it is about some posters here, but they seem to go out of their way to try to be goady or push people's buttons or look for a fight. I tend to think that people who try to bring other people lower feel small and are trying to make themselves feel better by making others feel small too. Or there is something that makes them just not nice people. Either way, it says more about them than you/the person they are attacking. You can't take it personally. Let it wash past you.

Yes, absolutely, I should have used my common sense and I regretted replying on that thread 😅 Lesson learned!

I genuinely do mean this kindly but if you are in any way sensitive I would avoid AIBU threads at all costs.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm truly glad there are people like you who do understand.

Yes. That thread was... intense 😳 You see, apparently, I didn't realise i had to reply in a certain way, and stay on topic, and not discuss how my life experiences related (or not, apparently!) The poster who dismissed my replies told me that I had deviated from the actual topic by discussing disability. I mean, I only mentioned it because the OP had talked about welfare and responsibility to oneself (!) 😅😳😅

Absolutely yes, you're right that my experience didn't line up with theirs. They said in their abrupt reply "It's not always about you, you know." Charming..!

Thank you for understanding. Yes. Those who sound like they are understanding and kind are the ones who matter (and you're one) .❤️

That made me smile. I got two dogs. Close enough? :-)

And this, i must say, has cheered me up considerably 😅😎❤️

(I love your username BTW!)

That reminds me of when i was much younger, going past the window to Oxfam one day and seeing a goat cut out on display, that I loved! I really wanted to ask if I could have it, but I chickened out! 😅🤣

I've not even opened that thread. I can guess what it's like. I haven't seen the post you reference.

I understand what you mean about experience in relation to resilience. I'm guessing the one person wrote your post off as irrelevant because it didn't line up with their beliefs or experience. That doesn't make your account and experience invalid at all, just different. Sometimes I think that those people might understand one day. Or they might get lucky.

Those who think your health concerns are a burden aren't worth your time or consideration. Those who can understand and be supportive, even if they don't have the lived experience, are the ones who matter.

Buy two goats

I love this idea about an alter ego who gets you through perimenopause! I've got to try it! 😅👍

Well, guess what, there's a strong possibility that all this is utterly pointless, all the silly things you get wound up by - like threads on Mumsnet - it's all a big old waste of time & life has no meaning or point to it at all.

Maybe have a ponder on that. It's interesting to consider different points of view and philosophies.

You say the OP sounds like she's "an over earnest year 9" but you sound like an uptight pearl-clutcher 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely this. I've had a poster reply really rudely to one of my replies on another thread about "welfarisation" as that thread title was phrased. I wasn't trying to derail that thread at all with my account of my health/life experience in relation to resilience, but the poster decided my account was irrelevant 🫤

I think it is true to say that some people don't like to hear that others aren't well, or mentally struggling, as perfect lives and mental health are much better than that (!).😳 I felt really bad about replying on that thread, (and I know i shouldn't have taken it so seriously!) but some people don't really have much empathy.

You're absolutely right about the way that shows how some people don't think it is a good thing to see the depressed/chronically ill etc out and about. I've felt awful enough about my health at times, so this makes me sad to think about how some might find it a burden 😔

We matter to those close to us. That's good enough for me. :-)

I don’t give a shut about people who don’t exist anymore and their struggles. Likewise I don’t expect anyone to care after I’ve gone. None of us matter.

They're the only really negative voice on this thread. It's just a philosophical discussion. I think there is something going on for them that results in this thread being uncomfortable for them. They can exit it if they want.

@BettyJoanPerske there is ONE dedicated thread for this which no one forced you to join. You're starting to sound controlling acting like we're not allowed to discuss this and trying to shut it down. It's truly baffling when you could just leave all the "negativity"! And yet funnily enough you're only adding to it in your own special way.

I have a fabulous world view and am having a great time with life. I've definitely been through more than most people but that has helped shape my world view for the better. It got me out of the daily grind and limiting worldview of what life should be. I actually live an enviable life now. You'd be envious if you knew what my life consisted of.

The way you are responding to people in this thread suggests that you are not all that content or happy with your life at all.

It's no good reasoning with people like @SunIsGreat. Not content with their own victimhood, they have to inflict their poisonous worldview on everyone else.

If you can't see them, you can't take them. Or until they are ready and able to take those steps, they can't be forced. That might even make things worse. It's not a real choice if you can't access it for whatever reason, even if that is just in your own mind. Sometimes people can be stuck for a while. It's frustrating to those around them but it's just as real as cancer or any other disability. Real clinical depression that is.

If you ever experience real depression, and there's no guarantee you won't ever, then you will understand that and have more empathy for it.

I'm sliding through perimenopause on a diet of whimsy and delusion. I am trying to romanticise life and focus on the little sparkles of joy that are dotted around. I'm working on an AlterEgo that takes over when things get tough, like Superman.

It can be really fucking hard to do when you are stuck under a mountain of work, chores and family needs but it has helped my mood considerably.

Now you're just being melodramatic and attention seeking, like all of the other edgy 'life is crap and anyone who says otherwise is a vapid sheep' people.