To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

I'm sorry you feel that way. If you tell yourself that life is shit, my God it will be.

You see, I agree with you in principle. I'm grumpy by default and just everyday life seems ridiculously hard to me. I completely resent the drudge too and often think life is not worth living. But whenever I really think about killing myself, I realise that despite not really wanting to live I really dont want to die either. Way to put yourself in an impossible situation!

So I figure I'll be dead soon enough anyway, that is a given, so I might as well get as much joy out of life as I can, even if it is precious little . Well that is what goes on in my head anyway

Being brutally honest, yes, life is mostly sh*t. I’m in awe of people who love life. I don’t know whether they’re lucky, or insensitive or just blessed with a naturally cheerful personality. Maybe it’s all three. Some people have a gift for happiness. They’re good at it.

Personally, I have found life staggeringly awful. It genuinely amazes me that people keep bringing children into the world. Are they in denial about the reality of this horrible sh*t? Have they never watched anyone get old and ill? Or die of cancer or dementia? Have they never worked a boring, stressful job? Didn’t they go through puberty and bullying? There is a sort of conspiracy of silence about how horrible life is. Just as there is a conspiracy of silence about hard marriage really is, or how awful it can be to raise children. We have to pretend life is great or we’d all give up and everything would fall apart.

Oh dear OP you sound like you need professional help - either therapy, coping mechanisms eg CBT or a medication that will help you feel better.
No one should have to feel so unhappy and with such little hope for a happier future.

Now, I do think you're just trolling OP.

You have basically just asked mumsnet to explain the meaning of life. Lols.

Why don't we all top ourselves is just a variation of the same question, the same one that every philosopher has grappled with since the dawn of time. You haven't just emerged from a chrysalis and suddenly discovered a secret truth.

Everyone, at some stage, grapples with this question.

The answer is, we don't know. We don't know why we have developed a survival instinct that stops us from topping ourselves once we realise that we are completely insignificant. We don't know why all species, from an amoeba to a human, has developed the same instinct.

So, unless something has gone very wrong chemically in the brain, you are unlikely to ever be able to override that survival instinct, no matter how much of a drudge life becomes.

With that in mind, you have to choose to make the best of it. Objectively, not everyone is a wanker. If you are are attracting non-stop wankers in your day, you have to ask yourself why that is happening.

It is possible to enjoy life most of the time, even with non stop chores, if you accept you're going to be here anyway. I like the phrase "if you're not changing it, you're choosing it".

Why the hell not? I am facing 80. Survived cancer, and am now sitting outside my campervan on a site in southern France, enjoying a hot evening, with a glass of rosé to hand. And many more such evenings to come I hope.

I think you can be happy in your life and still acknowledge the pointlessness of it all. It doesn't make me suicidal to note that the world, on the whole, would go on exactly the same without me in it although some people would miss me and me not being there would have a small impact on them.

This is me too.

I have absolutely nothing to complain about but I can't ignore the news and not be aware that billions of people in the world are nowhere near as lucky as I am.

I'm hoping it gets better in a couple of years time when I've retired for good. I am between jobs at the moment and have been off the past seven weeks and life has been so nice. No difficult people to deal with, no listening to people's woes all day. It has been lovely and relaxed , my time has been my own. If I didn't have to work again my life would be so different.

It was the reason I didn't have children and I can't be the only one.

A lot of people wonder what the point is.

I'm nearly 60 and I have a great life compared to a lot of people but I don't want to live beyond 75.

I don’t think that’s a secret!

It’s more suppressing the truth or remaining at surface level to fit what’s socially acceptable. Protecting oneself I suppose.

Saying this, there are plenty of parents on MN who have been brutally honest about how they feel about parenthood.

Do you really think the rest of us don't have to deal with chores and wankers? As I said, life is what you make it, it is attitude which counts. If you want to be negative then go for it, but don't expect to find enjoyment that way.

As do posters on Mn who bring utterly random things into convos!

I'm really really sorry you feel this way 😔. I love life and enjoy almost every day. You have been very unlucky and it's very sad.

Don’t suggest that! She’ll tell you you’re being depressing for not being able to pontificate the meaning of depressive existence. With candour. Or something.

If they make sense to you, can you please translate them for the rest of us!?

What do you mean 'people with influence'? Doomscrollers and grief vultures on Mumsnet do not have influence, they just enjoy weeping and wailing and being dramatic.

Ops posts are making loads of sense to me. Op I don’t get the sense you re actively suicidal, more ‘meh’ about it all.

if I’m wrong please call 111 and use option 2 for mental health support.

Absolutely. Their posts are barely comprehensible.

100% agree that life is pointless. Totally freeing. I don’t even enjoy the simple things. I enjoy all kinds of complicated things. I live a decent life making myself feel good and I’m replete

No we don’t know these
children but as fellow humans we can be shocked and hurt and angry on behalf of the vulnerable.

Isn’t that how social progress happens?! People with influence get outraged on behalf of others whose experiences are worse than their own?

@CurdinHenry

The 00s were hard work for me. Lost my parents (and DH lost his) we had 2 young DC very close in age, a big mortgage, very little surplus income, and always something going wrong with the house, (pushing us further and further into debt.) I had a job I didn't mind, but I had several not-so-good work colleagues. (A lecherous Manager, a spiteful and bitchy supervisor who bullied me, and a woman who was really hard work: nosey, gossipy, non-stop talker.)

My free and easy times were the 1970s and 1980s. Everyone remembers their childhood/teen/young person years with fondness and affection. And everyone has their tough times. I'm sure your life will be a bit better/easier in a few years. (I hope so anyway.) My life (and DH's) is much easier now. No mortgage, kids left home over a decade ago, no debts, and a decent sum in savings.

I do find the majority of my day pretty dull. Boring tasks. Working a job I have to do to live in a house and have hot water. Feed the kids on repeat. It’s not exciting. But it’s happy here and there. There are good days and some fun people and places. Very fortunate compared to most people across the world and throughout history. I think our lives being so introverted and disconnected from community really doesn’t help with boredom and depression.

Try having some real hardship then you will realise how great normal and mundane is

I think op has found ChatGPT. Or the vodka 🙄🥴