CRP level and DP’s reaction, would you be upset?

Classic behaviour from someone with a medical background but no excuse! Hope you heal well. I had a high CRP once, can’t remember how high but it was an extremely dodgy gallbladder.

My step daughter is a surgeon, she’s very cold I think, never any emotions
she says you have to have that personality to be a surgeon

My partner is a medic and says your partner sounds like an idiot. Hope you feel better soon OP

Which OP clearly knows because she’s put it in her update

I’d say he doesn’t trust you. If you were at deaths door, would you trust him to save you?

Do you really think its help full to say you are a GP and that with levels like this " either that or they have some horrible undiagnosed cancer” type level." Are you trying to scare her witless?

400 is high and its a red flag but not necessarily anything this dire.

@Treasdre If your CRP is 400, then the hospital’s response tells you everything you need to know. CRP at that level is not a “bit off” or “overreacting”, it’s a major inflammatory marker that clinicians take seriously because it usually indicates:

• a significant infection
• a post‑operative complication
• an abscess
• sepsis risk
• or another acute inflammatory process
• its certainly something that needs investigating as an inpatient.

If his own peers have examined you, run tests, and decided you need to be kept in, then minimising it from the sidelines, is not only unhelpful, it’s disrespectful to both you and the medical team actually treating you. And he should be embarrassed he didn't take you more seriously because generally, with people you love, you err on the side of caution and normally are overly protective and I would think twice about a relationship with a partner who treats you in this manner, it does not bode well.

A surgeon mocking a partner for seeking help when unwell is grim behaviour. A surgeon mocking a partner who has a CRP of 400 and has been admitted is professionally embarrassing.

He doesn’t get to override the judgement of the clinicians who have seen you, assessed you, and taken responsibility for your care. And he certainly doesn’t get to belittle you for listening to your own body. If anything, the fact you took yourself in shows good judgement, unlike him. Plenty of people, especially women, delay seeking help because they’ve been conditioned to minimise their symptoms. You didn’t. Good for you!

You are not being emotional, you are justifiably concerned about your own health and some sign of concern/compassion from your partner would be the norm. I would take issue with this when you are well. Your partner has shown you who they are....believe them!

Take care of yourself and get well soon.

I’m a GP. And yes that’s quite an impressive CRP, to me it’s a “this person is very likely ill enough to need to be in hospital right now, either that or they have some horrible undiagnosed cancer” type level.

But when I was a junior doctor working in hospital I’d routinely see CRPs this sort of level, and as a surgeon he probably sees it even more than medics. So I kind of get where he was coming from as a doctor/surgeon, and I do think as doctors we get desensitised to this stuff, it’s an everyday event to us, but to the person in hospital they’ve never been so desperately ill in their life.

I also think as doctors we can be very much “married to the job” and slow to know when we ought to be turning off the “doctor” bit of ourselves and becoming the “partner” (or whatever) bit of ourselves. It doesn’t help that family and friends frequently ask us to switch on the doctor bit when they’re ill. So I have some sympathy for your partner here and don’t think he should be judged overly harshly. You’re right that he probably feels bad now for giving you the wrong advice. Having said that, how do I put this, surgeons in general aren’t particularly known for their empathy at the best of times!

Medical people tend to look at things like this in more a practical sense rather than than an emotional sense
there job hardens them to it

I used to work with surgeons. An orthopaedic surgeon was extremely rude to me in front of a theatre full of staff. They are a law to themselves. Another surgeon once yelled at me for passing the instrument he’d just asked for.

I hope you feel better soon.

Same here, I'd been feeling terrible for over a week and it wouldn't shift. 400 is a very high CRP and he knows that full well - of course it could be higher but anyone getting that result is going to be given urgent treatment.

Ditch him unless you want a life of always having it minimised whenever you're unwell. And tell him he's behaved like a dick and that's why it's over.

Was gonna say - bet he’s an orthopod

Accord8ng to all the healthcare workers I know, surgeons have attendance to be arrogant.
Whats the difference between God and a surgeon? God knows he’s not a surgeon.
@Treasdre I hope you feel better soon.

They say that doctors tend to go one of two ways when their loved ones are ill, due to having cared for so many ill people at work - either completely underestimate it and miss the red flags, or massively overly worry even when objectively it's fine. It seems he's in the first group. I'm an ex doc and am in the second group - massive hypochondriac when it comes to DD's health - which is also infuriating for DH. Surgeons are renowned for not being the sensitive type (to say the least). Is he insensitive/ mean in other ways, or mainly just weird around health stuff?

Did they give you two antibiotics and the stomach pill?

I had the pilori thing and the pain was horrible, we almost went to the A and E

Ugh. 400 is high. My DH is a surgeon too and he's always been like this. I am another type of doctor so I'm fairly sanguine about it. But yes, I do sometimes idly wonder how close to actual death I'd need to be for him to say more than "ach you'll be fine". I did do the same to him during covid and felt guilty - he ended up with bad enough covid to be hospitalised and I had been telling him to just buck up a bit and have a lemsip. I'd never have said that to an actual patient!
I hope you feel better soon, and your DP gets his head out of his bum and shows some sympathy

That is so high.
I have an autoimmune condition and mine wasn't near that and i was so ill.

He's a prick.
A belittling nasty incompetent prick.

He certainly isn't a good doctor, man or partner.

Sounds like a narcissistic twat.

Rethink the relationship.

Not speaking for all obs but most do have a God like complex. You know saving lives and all. Very good physical skills but not people skills.

Are Surgeons Sociopaths? What the Research Shows - ScienceInsights

In his defence (only marginally, mind) CRP is very sensitive but it isn't specific. You can be extremely unwell with, say, a CRP of 150, but only moderately unwell with a CRP of 300.

For example, my DH went to the GP and saw an ANP who said he had flu. I disagreed, so took him to A&E. He was walking, talking, feeling a bit unwell and vaguely disorientated (but still orientated to time, person and place), but looked ok. His heart rate was within normal limits, but I pointed out to staff that it was double his usual resting heart rate. They also had difficulty getting a good sats reading because his fingers were a bit yellow and cold. He was sitting in majors when they swooped down on him to say they were taking him to get comfy. His CRP was 639. He had lobular pneumonia.

My point is, he had a sky high CRP but his body was compensating pretty well. He was heading for sepsis (lactate high) but the antibiotics turned it around in time. Someone with a much more severe infection could have a lower CRP.

As a surgeon, @Treasdre's DP will likely have seen necrotic infections with stupidly high CRPs.

my ex husband (doctor) said i was ‘embarrassing’ when i cried during my lumber puncture and went out on a works night out with other doctors including (some who worked on the ward i was on)when i was subsequently admitted with a suspected subdural haemorrhage as there was ‘nothing’ he could do overnight so he might as well stick to his plans.
ex for many reasons including that one.
even now he minimises everyone’s medical issues which meant our daughters pyelonephritis was not treated for two days as i was away and he thought she was ‘playing up’.
OP he’s a typical surgeon with an ego bigger than his care for those he is meant to love. it won’t get better.

This! Surgeons are not known for empathy, especially orthopods.

He’s a surgeon. Known for duck qualities.

Typical bloody surgeon (sorry). Yes I’ve seen a higher CRP but that doesn’t mean to say it’s ok - 400 is a pretty damned high CRP and you need urgent medical review to find out the cause of that. Agree, your DH is being an ass.