Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not all men, but always men

367 replies

Amodernhistory · 18/06/2026 19:58

Driving home from work tonight to the main news stories on the radio being 1) man tortures adopted baby to death and 2) man arrested after child ends up in crocodile enclosure at zoo.

I am absolutely sick of the daily onslaught of problematic men, monsters, committing outrages. That’s all, no suggestions, just AIBU to be sickened by this constant stream of beasts who live amongst us (Gisele Pelicot’s husband, recent terrorist attacks, daily murders of women by men) combined with personal experiences of men who ‘you wouldn’t have thought it to look at him’ turning out to be sex pests and paedophiles is putting me right off them as a sex class. Not your man, not your son, not my (lovely) Dad, but all the other men… how do we know which ones?

Its hard not to conclude it’s a man problem.

OP posts:
Zov · 18/06/2026 22:53

FFS! 🙄

PollyBell · 18/06/2026 22:51

Periperi2025 · 18/06/2026 22:50

There are more than 70 men serving whole life sentences in the UK. Only 4 whole life sentences have ever been given to women, 1 is now dead and 1 is probably the most controversial and unsafe conviction in modern times.

Edited

So it is not still always men

Periperi2025 · 18/06/2026 22:50

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/06/2026 20:00

It’s not always men though, there are a fair few women who harm their own children, who kill their own children.

There are more than 70 men serving whole life sentences in the UK. Only 4 whole life sentences have ever been given to women, 1 is now dead and 1 is probably the most controversial and unsafe conviction in modern times.

Zov · 18/06/2026 22:50

BatFinkk · 18/06/2026 22:33

This is why the ‘News at 10’ needs to be renamed to the ‘News of Men’ because let’s face it, with the very odd reprieve, it’s always … men

Yep. Sexual assault, rape, domestic abuse, child abuse, murder, robbery, wars, terrorism, harassment, stalking, perving, the list goes on and on and on....

And the vast VAST majority of the time............

IT'S MEN!

Over40Overdating · 18/06/2026 22:49

But do you really think creating a thread like this is really going to help matters. Instead of venting on here and whipping up a storm
And just think of this, does anyone on here really know who's on here, how do you know that someone might be reading this thread, get wound up, then do something stupid, might sound extreme, but you just never know

Yes hush up women! Stop being publicly outraged and fed up of men! If you MUST complain do it out of public view so you don’t hurt some man’s feelings and make them do something bad. Because if we all stay silent men will be totally fine and stop murdering us. It’s our own fault for winding them up by being angry about it.

@MrFlintstone Men like you are every bit a part of the problem. Instead of lecturing women about being silent so they don’t hurt feelings, how about go tell your brethren to stop killing women. Failing that, go boil your head.

duckydoo234 · 18/06/2026 22:49

fartotheleftside · 18/06/2026 20:27

The rate of mothers murdering their children vs fathers murdering their children are about 50/50 in fact.

But it's never mothers on their own. It's Mummy and her new boyfriend. The dads are long gone by then, so not a threat anymore.

Kickinthenostalgia · 18/06/2026 22:48

I work in retail and it’s always men that come in and start intimidating the female cashiers when they can’t get thier own way. It never happens when the males are on the till, it’s happened 3 times in the last 2 weeks. They come in and start shouting and intimidating some of my female staff. To the point 2 of them have come out the back crying, I’m talking women that have been through many hardships. It’s increased 10fold the last few years. Luckily I have no emotion and usually just laugh at them, I’ve told the women if that happens again to get me because I don’t care and will shut that shit down immediately. Always the men… I don’t like to tar all of them with the same brush because not all men are like that but there’s defo been an increase of misogynistic behaviour from my point of view anyway.

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:47

MummyWillow1 · 18/06/2026 22:30

It is the same behaviour causing the issues though, the triggers are essentially the same even if the outside events change.

It really isn’t.

If you’re born into a culture then that culture often teaches you your moral compass. Whilst testosterone may be a crucial factor, the way you’re raised and expected to conduct yourself around females based on your parents AND society AND possible religion will play a key part even if sometimes your nature overrides it. It’d be the exception not a normal pattern of behaviour based on your culture.

Society will shape you even if it’s subconsciously. It’s why there’s such a push now by the West to tackle the manosphere uprising. But in some countries what these men are saying is deemed perfectly acceptable and encouraged. That’s the difference.

Same goes for females. If you live in a country where it’s acceptable for you to be sold as a child, raped by your new ‘husband’, no access to education etc then irrespective of your nature, the culture you’re growing up in will inevitably shape your destiny as you don’t know any different nor are any of those around you saying it’s wrong. You may have been meant for more, but the country and culture you’re in will suppress you. You’re even aborted purely based on your sex in some countries (hence China banning gender scans).

I will stand by though that as a woman, I don’t want to import more men into the population. That gives us more resource to work on the men we already have here and gives us more prison space to put the scum away who commit VAWG. I don’t care if that upsets you, I’d swap all of them for the women they’ve left behind in shit conditions.

Zov · 18/06/2026 22:46

SilenceInside · 18/06/2026 20:02

Even the first post on this thread wants to say that women are as much of a problem. The scale is vastly different. If men offended at the rate that women do, we’d have virtually no violent crime.

This post nails it.

The OP posts about how men are such a problem in our society, our country, our world, and within a few seconds the NAMALTs are out with the 'wot about da wimminz? THEY are bad sometimes too' crap that always ends up getting posted on threads like this! It would be funny if it wasn't so infuriating and bloody predictable! Hmm

.

Copperoliverbear · 18/06/2026 22:45

Bring back the death penalty

MinglyMadly · 18/06/2026 22:42

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/06/2026 20:00

It’s not always men though, there are a fair few women who harm their own children, who kill their own children.

Really? A "fair few"? What... versus the giganteum number of men committing these crimes. Look at the news every single day. Open your local newspaper every week. You will be guaranteed to find something about a man committing some violent or sexual crime. Now count the times you find the same mention of a woman doing similar....and you think that's somehow comparable. 🙄

Happyjoe · 18/06/2026 22:36

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:26

Don’t worry handmaiden, I’m on it.

You know am not a man, right? Cool.

MyPinkKoala · 18/06/2026 22:35

If you'd been born a man would you be any different?

BatFinkk · 18/06/2026 22:33

This is why the ‘News at 10’ needs to be renamed to the ‘News of Men’ because let’s face it, with the very odd reprieve, it’s always … men

MummyWillow1 · 18/06/2026 22:30

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:22

So all women’s issues whether that be health, economics, education etc are the same no matter their race? Seems a bit narrow minded to not try and further delve into issues and notice trends and issues because it’s uncomfortable.

Some on here are saying that stats show that when the World Cup is on, DV rates go up. I’m presuming that’s predominantly a western issue and white men are over represented in the stats (haven’t seen the stats so making an assumption).

So race is important as is the culture (in this case football) to tackle the issue head on. By knowing this you can ask sporting bodies to do more to tackle education as part of the sport to prevent issues.

Basic logic really. Bleating ‘all men’ whilst trying to ignore any research or evidence into the different crimes types, perp characteristics etc is just blind ignorance and chatting random slogans that are going to bring no outcome for us. We know it’s men, now we need to delve deeper even if it upsets you.

It is the same behaviour causing the issues though, the triggers are essentially the same even if the outside events change.

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:26

Happyjoe · 18/06/2026 22:25

Cheese and pickle please. Easy on the pickle.

Don’t worry handmaiden, I’m on it.

Happyjoe · 18/06/2026 22:25

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:24

Another thread where you call any woman who disagrees with you hysterical.

Same ole misogynistic clap trap most men use when they can’t out debate a woman.

Next you’ll be telling me to make you a sandwich.

Cheese and pickle please. Easy on the pickle.

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Another thread where you call any woman who disagrees with you hysterical.

Same ole misogynistic clap trap most men use when they can’t out debate a woman.

Next you’ll be telling me to make you a sandwich.

MightyDandelionEsq · 18/06/2026 22:22

MummyWillow1 · 18/06/2026 22:16

It still isn’t all men but always a man. You are just reiterating the same problem but making it about race. How many different ways do you need it explaining. If you make it about race you are making it a race issues rather than a man issue - it is still a man issue.

So all women’s issues whether that be health, economics, education etc are the same no matter their race? Seems a bit narrow minded to not try and further delve into issues and notice trends and issues because it’s uncomfortable.

Some on here are saying that stats show that when the World Cup is on, DV rates go up. I’m presuming that’s predominantly a western issue and white men are over represented in the stats (haven’t seen the stats so making an assumption).

So race is important as is the culture (in this case football) to tackle the issue head on. By knowing this you can ask sporting bodies to do more to tackle education as part of the sport to prevent issues.

Basic logic really. Bleating ‘all men’ whilst trying to ignore any research or evidence into the different crimes types, perp characteristics etc is just blind ignorance and chatting random slogans that are going to bring no outcome for us. We know it’s men, now we need to delve deeper even if it upsets you.

justintimeforxmas · 18/06/2026 22:22

fartotheleftside · 18/06/2026 20:18

Baby P, Victoria Climbe, Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, and Star Hobson were all murdered by women, to name but a few.

baby P was murdered by a man. He was murdered by the mother’s boyfriend.

it’s interesting that you remember the mother being involved rather than the man who actually killed him. His mother, Tracey Connolly was convicted a
of allowing the abuse to be done to Baby P.

When women are involved in a murder it is more likely to be reported in the media due to its unusualness and because it goes against the perception of women in society. This skews the perception of the number of female murderers to make murderers.

Lifeomars · 18/06/2026 22:21

And when men are victims of violent crime the perpetrator will almost always be male especially if it is a random act of violence. When I go on our local paper's website the news is a depressing litany of robberies, stabbings, rapes and sexual assaults, domestic violence, fights in town, and burglaries.

Happyjoe · 18/06/2026 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EarthSight · 18/06/2026 22:20

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/06/2026 20:00

It’s not always men though, there are a fair few women who harm their own children, who kill their own children.

Of course, but go look at crime statistics for violent and sexual offences.

There is absolutely NO parity there.

MrFlintstone · 18/06/2026 22:19

Clafoutie · 18/06/2026 22:07

The problem is though is that it seems men ( on the whole, again, not all men), do not appear to have the same visceral anger about this issue ( male violence) as women do. Until we hear other men speaking out about this in the same terms and with the same frequency as women, nothing will change. Writing to an MP can be done, of course, but women need to be able to share how this is making them feel, and this is often done by talking to each other, even via social media sites like this. There are drawbacks for sure, but keeping low key and polite isn’t going to cut it.

I can do nothing but to agree on everything you have said. Well written.
I'm a bloke, and it disgusts me how some men behave, but it also disgusts me how some women behave. ( I have personal experience).

MummyWillow1 · 18/06/2026 22:19

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 18/06/2026 20:48

I think you've got your stats wrong, its not far off 10 male prisons for every 1 female prison. 120 male, 14 female.

I'm not positive but I also believe the male prisons are larger. 84k male prisoners v 3.5k female

Apologies, I didn’t fact check and didn’t want to overstate.