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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think step siblings can be evening guests only at wedding?

91 replies

AnneShirleyBlythe · 18/06/2026 18:26

My friend’s DD is planning her wedding. She has 3 step siblings who have only
been in her life for around 10 years, since she was about 19. Step siblings are younger (16- 22).

Bride & groom to be are considering a very intimate ceremony (20ish guests) followed by a huge evening reception. Bride to be wants the step siblings to be invited to the evening do. Friend & her DH aren’t happy with this. They think the step siblings should be considered the same as siblings.

IMO it’s fine to do this. Bride’s aunts, uncles
& cousins aren’t going to be invited to the ceremony. Siblings, parents & grandparents & best friends are the only ceremony guests.
My friend & I had quite a heated discussion about it. AIBU to think it’s fine to exclude the step siblings as they are not particularly close?

OP posts:
Lucia573 · 18/06/2026 19:16

I agree with you OP.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 18/06/2026 19:07

Parents can force two families together and insist the children are blended, but they can't insist on the farce when the children grow up.

rainbowstardrops · 18/06/2026 19:05

I think if aunts, uncles and cousins aren’t invited to the ceremony then neither should the step siblings who have been her life for less time.

LlynTegid · 18/06/2026 19:04

Given ages, reasonable I think.

Original poster
AnneShirleyBlythe · 18/06/2026 19:03

Ibi · 18/06/2026 18:28

Honestly I just wouldn’t get involved. It’s not with fighting with a friend over - it’s not your wedding!!

My friend asked my opinion so I gave i. Not my circus, just wondered what others thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnneShirleyBlythe · 18/06/2026 19:01

Confuserr · 18/06/2026 18:29

Your friend sounds interfering. They're not her siblings, and never will be. They are people she met when she was already an adult. Fine to invite them to evening only.

Hope your friend and her husband can get some perspective and stop stressing her daughter out.

This is my perspective on it. Friend really wants them all to be one big happy family. But her DH didn’t come into their lives until DDs were late teens. Friend only split with her DH when her 2 DDs were teenagers so they had a family with both parents for majority of their childhood. Friend’s DH isn’t a father figure & his DC aren’t close to friends DDs however much the oarents wish they were.

OP posts:
SpottyPyjama · 18/06/2026 18:55

Yet another story of parents trying to force a blended family on their offspring against their wishes or best interests. It’s unbelievable how selfish some parents can be. The step siblings probably aren’t bothered about going to the ceremony and it’s all about the parents wanting to project the image of a perfect family.

BacksToTheFuture · 18/06/2026 18:43

You can invite whoever you choose to your wedding, doesn't your friend understand that? I can't imagine getting aerated about someone else's wedding

toffeeappleturnip · 18/06/2026 18:40

There are no rules. A wedding is a good occasion to build a bond with step family and have everyone feel close and included.

They may be a few years younger but that will feel like no time at all in another 10 years. They may end up being closer than they realise now.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/06/2026 18:35

In these circumstances it seems fine ie it’s a small ceremony anyway and the step siblings weren’t in her life as a child.

Of course step siblings aren’t counted as siblings if they didn’t grow up together.

nutbrownhare15 · 18/06/2026 18:32

It might be seen as a snub. Maybe she could ask her parents if they are happy to pay for it.

minipie · 18/06/2026 18:31

I think it’s fine. It would be different if they grew up together.

Confuserr · 18/06/2026 18:29

Your friend sounds interfering. They're not her siblings, and never will be. They are people she met when she was already an adult. Fine to invite them to evening only.

Hope your friend and her husband can get some perspective and stop stressing her daughter out.

TropicalFishAreTwats · 18/06/2026 18:29

Just another blended family in which the parents are desperate to shout 'how close' everyone is despite the obvious truth.

Chuzzwomblitz · 18/06/2026 18:28

The only people who have a say are the bride and the groom

Ibi · 18/06/2026 18:28

Honestly I just wouldn’t get involved. It’s not with fighting with a friend over - it’s not your wedding!!

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