AIBU to think step siblings can be evening guests only at wedding?

My husband has step brothers that came into his life when we was 18. He doesn’t see them as brothers at all and they weren’t invited to our wedding. Nothing personal and will be pleasant when he sees them but has no relationship with them. Ultimately up to the bride and groom

What the fuck are you having these heated discussions for? It isn't your wedding, or your friends for that matter!

The couple can invite whoever they wish to. All blended family dynamics are different and some people barely know their step siblings.

I didn't even invite my one full sibling to m wedding ( as abroad) But the after party they were all invited. No body was offended

It’s only the very small ceremony they won’t get invited to. That part normally isn’t charged per person. They will be invited to the dinner/party afterwards and that’s where the money will be spent. It has nothing to do with not affording to invite them. Just that they want just their closest family and friends there for the ceremony. OP didn’t meet her mum’s partner’s children until she was already an adult so they are not siblings in any sense of the word. Not biologically or familiarity. They really are just her mum’s new partner’s kids.

I didn’t make the cut to my own brother’s ceremony and found it so hurtful I didn’t attend the party either. I don’t agree with tiny exclusive ceremonies and definitely don’t agree with relatives (because yes they are relatives via marriage) being excluded from them. If you want to get married, as many people should see the actual marriage as possible otherwise what’s the point in inviting them. Being an evening only guest makes you feel like a little unimportant add on.

Batshit.

When I married I made it clear to everyone that I would be having the wedding I wanted and if anyone interfered we’d buggar off alone and do it without guests!
ultimately I think who is invited to a wedding is up to the bride and groom and wish everyone else would mind their own!
People are constantly moaning about who is and isn’t invited to weddings, if you don’t like it, don’t go is my attitude!

Yabvu if you can’t afford step siblings don’t get married especially if the DH wants them there. Sounds like an entitled bridezilla! Maybe he’ll see her behaviour and realise what she is before he takes the plunge/

I had 2 half siblings and a step sibling I didn’t even invite. I didn’t invite my “father” either.

“Tearing the family apart” 🙄🙄 Christ, get the violins out.

These are adult step siblings. They probably don’t give a shit about not being invited. It’s just the mother of the bride wanting to keep up appearances.

It’s down to the bride and groom completely who they invite to their wedding. They also may have to deal with the consequences of hurt feelings though.

In general in ones like this I think the couple can invite whoever they want, but they really should consider if there will be knock on impacts they won't like. Not inviting someone makes a statement that you can't easily take back. Especially when its family. Its fine if you genuinely aren't close, less fine if you normally have a closer relationship that you expect to continue exactly the same afterwards.

In your friends case it's probably fine, I think you only end up with hurt if one side considers the relationship closer than the other which doesn't sound likely with the ages involved.

Really? Because I don’t think the OP has done anything wrong. Whereas you come across as more poisonous with every post.

Exactly. If your friend’s marriage broke up tomorrow, would her daughter ever see her stepfather again, never mind his kids. I can’t really see why anyone would try to form a relationship with a parent’s partner’s kids if you met them at the age of 19, beyond what’s necessary for decent manners.

Your friend needs to accept that her partner’s children are just that to her children. They don’t see them as family. They have a family of their own. And her daughter wants people she cares about at her wedding.

That sure says a lot about what kind of people you and your sister are....wow....

I mean, its really tacky after 10yrs.

It is up the couple if people want to blend families it os the adults who did it not the children like any wedding the couple decides who they want at their wedding

Children dont have a choice who parents pair up with

While it’s the bride and grooms choice, I also agree it’s a bit cold to put them in a situation that’s generally a tick box to include someone who isn’t really close to you

That is absolutely ice cold. They should be there for the whole thing.

Why assume the step siblings consider the bride. Lose family?

if they are not close, then there’s nothing to tear apart.

The bride is allowed to ostracise anyone she wants. If she wants to make it clear to her step siblings that she doesn't consider them close family, let her cracks on.

For the sake of 3 places however I wouldn't risk tearing the family apart