Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘I am wanting/ they are wanting’ is the new ‘myself/ yourself’

59 replies

PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 14:59

I’ve noticed a real thing of people saying ‘I am wanting’ rather than ‘I want’

It seems like an attempt to over complicate a simple phrase to make it sound posher, as with people who say ‘myself’ rather than me. An attempt to sound important and professional that actually has the opposite effect because you’re messing up the grammar.

It’s fine to speak in simple, correct English and say ‘I want’ and ‘me.’

It’s the trying to sound fancy and getting things grammatically wrong that makes people sound daft.

I was just wanting to point that out 😆

OP posts:
Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:55

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:52

I am the other poster 😂 I mean how is myself/yourself used in England that people don't like?

Edited
Show quote history

Oh, sorry! Things like 'Who decided to go with that ad?' 'That was myself.' Or 'If you need more information on this, please revert to myself.' Used where 'me' should be used as a hyper-correction, because people think it's more formal.

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:52

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:50

No. 'Is it yourself, Mary?' like the other poster said. Used for slightly joky emphasis. 'You/yourself', 'me/myself' etc work differently in Irish, and have mapped over differently into Hiberno-English

Show quote history

I am the other poster 😂 I mean how is myself/yourself used in England that people don't like?

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:51

obsessional · 18/06/2026 15:47

Oh - is this wrong? If I am talking to someone who doesn't know my kids by name and I want to talk about my youngest child, what should I refer to him as?

Show quote history

I think eldest is for more than 2 children so if you have 2 children it would be oldest? loads of people say that though

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:50

obsessional · 18/06/2026 15:47

Oh - is this wrong? If I am talking to someone who doesn't know my kids by name and I want to talk about my youngest child, what should I refer to him as?

Show quote history

Older/elder and younger if there are only two. Youngest/eldest implies more than two.

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:50

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:48

Not sure I have ever heard it the way you mean. Like, "can you bring myself back a can of coke?

Show quote history

No. 'Is it yourself, Mary?' like the other poster said. Used for slightly joky emphasis. 'You/yourself', 'me/myself' etc work differently in Irish, and have mapped over differently into Hiberno-English

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:48

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:36

But Irish usage is correct Hiberno-English and not the misuse of ‘myself’ when it should be ‘me’ usually being complained about in British English on here.

No one has actually provided an example of where they’re hearing ‘I am wanting’.

Show quote history

Not sure I have ever heard it the way you mean. Like, "can you bring myself back a can of coke?

obsessional · 18/06/2026 15:47

CarerBurnout · 18/06/2026 15:11

Indeed.

Can I add, people referring their "eldest" and "youngest" when they only have two children.

Oh - is this wrong? If I am talking to someone who doesn't know my kids by name and I want to talk about my youngest child, what should I refer to him as?

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:45

StillgotmyiPod · 18/06/2026 15:35

My petty peeve is invite / invitation.

Invitation is the noun, it's the thing you give someone. Invite is the verb, the act of inviting someone.

You invite someone by giving them an invitation. You don't "send them an invite".

Also in agreement with a previous poster - you give someone a gift, you don't "gift" them anything.

Here endeth the lesson according to me...

I always thought when people said invite in that context they were just shortening the word invitation, like saying you work in a lab instead of laboratory 😂I definitely pronounce the two differently, although how to explain the two different ways in text form is hard. Same with the place Blackpool, there's a place in Ireland and a place in England called Blackpool and you can always tell which a person is referring to (at least when irish people say the word) there's more emphasis on the "Black" in the English place but more on the Pool part in the Irish place 😁

chevalraye · 18/06/2026 15:45

Well exactly…. I want and I am wanting are both grammatically correct in this context. You can choose which you prefer. But personally I would consider “I am wanting” go be slightly more polite. You may also substitute “I would like” or “please can you help me find” or “I need”. There isn’t one correct answer. But the point is that “I am wanting” is one such correct answer. Language is beautiful and I personally love that each generation comes up with a new vernacular to make the language their own :)

Bananananna · 18/06/2026 15:40

I HATE “I’m wanting”. I can’t explain why but it hits the ear all wrong.

I saw a post this week which a couple of times mentioned a baby “needing fed” and I felt the same way.

tfortable · 18/06/2026 15:38

MrMucker · 18/06/2026 15:10

Actually this is not a grammar mistake at all.
"want" is a stative verb, meaning a state of mind or an abiding condition or situation.
If you change it to "wanting" then you change the meaning specifically to something temporary. It means in this case, it's something that has occurred to you and which you wish to amend so that the "want" will disappear..
The meaning is exactly the same as "I am looking for" and the reason people use it is to emphasise this temporary requirement and invite suggestions how to resolve it.
I mean, you don't often go into Boots and say "hello, I want some scissors" because that's quite abrupt. You'd say "I'm looking for" because there's an invitation to staff to help. "I'm wanting" functions the same, but your response to it is of a conservative thinker not enjoying the increasing preference of using it. In other words you are averse to change.

You're welcome. 😊

Thank you - that’s delightfully explained.

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:36

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:33

Both wanting and myself/yourself or both common in Irish-English speech, neither are "posh"(or trying to be posh) you'd be more likely to hear it from older or country people than younger people or people trying to sound posh.

Eg. - Will you be wanting a bag with that?/Ah Mary, 'tis yourself!

But Irish usage is correct Hiberno-English and not the misuse of ‘myself’ when it should be ‘me’ usually being complained about in British English on here.

No one has actually provided an example of where they’re hearing ‘I am wanting’.

Original poster
PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 15:36

chevalraye · 18/06/2026 15:31

Well it depends on the context. You are no longer wanting to find them, as you have found them. But you are presumably still wanting to buy them, and later you will be wanting to use them.

But I guess all the way through this little scenario I want the scissors

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 18/06/2026 15:35

"May you" as in "may you send me this document?".

I'm an internal auditor at a law firm so I read loads of emails between professionals. I wish I could add not using this to my scoresheet.

Original poster
PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 15:35

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:33

Both wanting and myself/yourself or both common in Irish-English speech, neither are "posh"(or trying to be posh) you'd be more likely to hear it from older or country people than younger people or people trying to sound posh.

Eg. - Will you be wanting a bag with that?/Ah Mary, 'tis yourself!

Completely get that (I am from an Irish background) and the usage in Ireland is different

OP posts:
VickyEadie · 18/06/2026 15:35

"I'm liking..." annoys the living shite out of me.

StillgotmyiPod · 18/06/2026 15:35

My petty peeve is invite / invitation.

Invitation is the noun, it's the thing you give someone. Invite is the verb, the act of inviting someone.

You invite someone by giving them an invitation. You don't "send them an invite".

Also in agreement with a previous poster - you give someone a gift, you don't "gift" them anything.

Here endeth the lesson according to me...

letmebetheone · 18/06/2026 15:34

My son drives me mad when he says 'Can I get' instead of 'Can I have' when I ask what he wants for tea.

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:33

Both wanting and myself/yourself or both common in Irish-English speech, neither are "posh"(or trying to be posh) you'd be more likely to hear it from older or country people than younger people or people trying to sound posh.

Eg. - Will you be wanting a bag with that?/Ah Mary, 'tis yourself!

Chaotica · 18/06/2026 15:33

As PPs have said: not incorrect grammar. It's also a dialect thing.

'gifting' annoys me because I don't like 'to gift', but if it were a verb, then I'd not really be able to complain about 'I am gifting'.

LaliqueSaltGrinder · 18/06/2026 15:32

Also "I feel like" instead of "I think".

chevalraye · 18/06/2026 15:31

Well it depends on the context. You are no longer wanting to find them, as you have found them. But you are presumably still wanting to buy them, and later you will be wanting to use them.

Original poster
PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 15:29

chevalraye · 18/06/2026 15:28

MrMucker is correct. “I am wanting” is not incorrect grammar. And to answer your question, yes, you are no longer wanting the scissors if you already have them. “Want” implies a lack.

“Myself” on the other hand is incorrect grammar when used as an object pronoun. I used to find this irritating until I realised language is a tool for communication, and as long as one can understand somebody’s message, it doesn’t really matter whether or not they use the right words in the right order.

@chevalraye So as soon as I pick the scissors up I no longer want them?

OP posts:
HRHCurmudgeon · 18/06/2026 15:29

CatsMagic · 18/06/2026 15:26

YANBU.

“Wanting” is just as bad as “gifting”

Makes me irrationally angry !!!

‘GIFTING’ ARRGGGHHHH.

Pretentious wank.

I like this thread, it’s very cathartic.

TigTails · 18/06/2026 15:29

PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 14:59

I’ve noticed a real thing of people saying ‘I am wanting’ rather than ‘I want’

It seems like an attempt to over complicate a simple phrase to make it sound posher, as with people who say ‘myself’ rather than me. An attempt to sound important and professional that actually has the opposite effect because you’re messing up the grammar.

It’s fine to speak in simple, correct English and say ‘I want’ and ‘me.’

It’s the trying to sound fancy and getting things grammatically wrong that makes people sound daft.

I was just wanting to point that out 😆

It’s very “new grad real estate agent”. 😅

Swipe left for the next trending thread