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AIBU?

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Original poster

‘I am wanting/ they are wanting’ is the new ‘myself/ yourself’

59 replies

PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 14:59

I’ve noticed a real thing of people saying ‘I am wanting’ rather than ‘I want’

It seems like an attempt to over complicate a simple phrase to make it sound posher, as with people who say ‘myself’ rather than me. An attempt to sound important and professional that actually has the opposite effect because you’re messing up the grammar.

It’s fine to speak in simple, correct English and say ‘I want’ and ‘me.’

It’s the trying to sound fancy and getting things grammatically wrong that makes people sound daft.

I was just wanting to point that out 😆

OP posts:
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Beenwhereyouareagain · 20/06/2026 04:29

obsessional · 18/06/2026 15:47

Oh - is this wrong? If I am talking to someone who doesn't know my kids by name and I want to talk about my youngest child, what should I refer to him as?

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When there are 2 being compared, it ends in "er." I say younger or older (elder) when referring to my daughters.
You use "est" if there are 3 or more.

Notmorecrapola · 20/06/2026 03:53

My pet hate is the word ‘lay’ or ‘laying’. Nobody seems able to say ‘lie’ or ‘lying’ any more (in the context of lying down, not telling an untruth).

E.g. ‘We were laying on the beach’ or ‘I had a headache so I had to lay down’

But can I just say that I love this thread. I have found my people! 😂

merryhouse · 19/06/2026 20:34

WoollyHeadedMammoth · 19/06/2026 05:06

I'm loving this thread so much that I emailed it to myself. I might print it out and bring it with me to my mum's, if I get an invite and feel like going.

that's the correct use of "myself"

as opposed to "I'm loving this thread so much I asked OP to email it to myself"

Tigerbalmshark · 19/06/2026 18:29

PinkMagpie · 19/06/2026 04:45

I think that is the perfect example.

you’ve said “I’m wanting a cake”

when what you mean is: “I want a cake”

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Could go either way. If I fancy a slice of cake, yes I want a cake. If I’m short a cake for a birthday party, and go in a shop to buy one, I’m wanting a cake. I may or may not particularly want to eat it myself, but I need one.

WoollyHeadedMammoth · 19/06/2026 05:06

I'm loving this thread so much that I emailed it to myself. I might print it out and bring it with me to my mum's, if I get an invite and feel like going.

Original poster
PinkMagpie · 19/06/2026 04:45

Tigerbalmshark · 18/06/2026 22:13

Could you give an example then? Because the only time I have heard it has been from Irish people.

I think it is correct but archaic English - “want” as in “be in need of”. As in pride and prejudice, “a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. Or to find somebody wanting. If I’m wanting a cake, I’m short of a cake.

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I think that is the perfect example.

you’ve said “I’m wanting a cake”

when what you mean is: “I want a cake”

OP posts:
Tigerbalmshark · 18/06/2026 22:26

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:55

Oh, sorry! Things like 'Who decided to go with that ad?' 'That was myself.' Or 'If you need more information on this, please revert to myself.' Used where 'me' should be used as a hyper-correction, because people think it's more formal.

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I think Marilyn does it in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Sadly can’t find any clips!

Tigerbalmshark · 18/06/2026 22:13

PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 15:35

Completely get that (I am from an Irish background) and the usage in Ireland is different

Edited
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Could you give an example then? Because the only time I have heard it has been from Irish people.

I think it is correct but archaic English - “want” as in “be in need of”. As in pride and prejudice, “a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. Or to find somebody wanting. If I’m wanting a cake, I’m short of a cake.

soundsys · 18/06/2026 22:05

Ooh I hate the myself/yourself as much as the next person but…

I am wanting is very normal Hiberno-English (see also I am needing and the much hated - in England only - “mixing up” bringing and taking) so… I’m on the fence!

DwayneDibleysTeeth · 18/06/2026 21:56

Can I add 'I seen' to the pet hates when people are writing (especially) and talking? It's 'I saw', for heaven's sake. I must see 'I seen' on Mumsnet at least once or twice a day 😬

Original poster
PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 21:19

oliviaAustin · 18/06/2026 19:34

People think it sounds less demanding.

And that’s fine. I’m prepared to admit I am being grumpy and it’s mostly used by people being well meaning

OP posts:
oliviaAustin · 18/06/2026 19:34

People think it sounds less demanding.

Original poster
PinkMagpie · 18/06/2026 17:05

@MrMucker I’m actually not at all averse to change. You wouldn’t know that because you don’t actually know the first thing about me.

What annoys me about the phrase is what you’ve alluded to in your post which is that it is a little bit of fussiness added in to avoid saying “I want”

OP posts:
Monty36 · 18/06/2026 16:39

Besidemyselfwithworry · 18/06/2026 15:57

I agree

I also hate the whole “reaching out” and “my bad” phrases! Just awful!

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I agree. Hideous. Along with the overuse of the word ‘emotional’. Why people cannot describe the emotion they are feeling I don’t know. Vocabulary is shrinking.

WhatNextImScared · 18/06/2026 16:22

MrMucker · 18/06/2026 15:10

Actually this is not a grammar mistake at all.
"want" is a stative verb, meaning a state of mind or an abiding condition or situation.
If you change it to "wanting" then you change the meaning specifically to something temporary. It means in this case, it's something that has occurred to you and which you wish to amend so that the "want" will disappear..
The meaning is exactly the same as "I am looking for" and the reason people use it is to emphasise this temporary requirement and invite suggestions how to resolve it.
I mean, you don't often go into Boots and say "hello, I want some scissors" because that's quite abrupt. You'd say "I'm looking for" because there's an invitation to staff to help. "I'm wanting" functions the same, but your response to it is of a conservative thinker not enjoying the increasing preference of using it. In other words you are averse to change.

You're welcome. 😊

Perfect response. Thank you for your service.

LlynTegid · 18/06/2026 16:20

Overuse of language and silly phrases, valid thing to observe OP. Especially in business- I contact people, I don't reach out to them.

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 16:17

Tingledtangled · 18/06/2026 16:00

Bring and take are also used differently in Hiberno-English as they’re influenced by the Irish language versions of those verbs and how they’re used.

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And the (very useful) 'I'm after doing X' which is a direct translation of 'Táim tar éis rud éigin a dhéanamh'.

And using 'and' for simultaneity, which is used in formal Irish, and which I really like eg take all your belongings with you 'agus tú ag fágáil an mbus'.

Pistachiocake · 18/06/2026 16:06

Quite a few of my ESOL friends/family do things like this, but you're right, a lot of people are doing this now even if English is their only language.
Some people think that phrases which take longer sound more polite, or less snappy. I am going to meet up with her, versus: I'll meet her.
Or should we blame Maccys for starting the I'm loving it nonsense.

ReadingInBed88 · 18/06/2026 16:06

My pet language hate is 'reach out'. Just say 'email' or 'contact'. 'Reach out' just sounds so grandiose as though sending an email is some huge endeavour 😆

SquashPenguin · 18/06/2026 16:03

When Facebook first came out this was rife because the status bar started with “(name) is….” So if you wanted something it was always “Kevin is wanting….”. Used to irritate the hell out of me.

Tingledtangled · 18/06/2026 16:00

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:33

Both wanting and myself/yourself or both common in Irish-English speech, neither are "posh"(or trying to be posh) you'd be more likely to hear it from older or country people than younger people or people trying to sound posh.

Eg. - Will you be wanting a bag with that?/Ah Mary, 'tis yourself!

Bring and take are also used differently in Hiberno-English as they’re influenced by the Irish language versions of those verbs and how they’re used.

Quine0nline · 18/06/2026 15:58

It may well be grammatically correct, but it sounds out of "The Kumar's at no 42".

Besidemyselfwithworry · 18/06/2026 15:57

Thehop · 18/06/2026 15:01

YANBU

I hate it

I agree

I also hate the whole “reaching out” and “my bad” phrases! Just awful!

MyMilchick · 18/06/2026 15:56

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:55

Oh, sorry! Things like 'Who decided to go with that ad?' 'That was myself.' Or 'If you need more information on this, please revert to myself.' Used where 'me' should be used as a hyper-correction, because people think it's more formal.

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ah I see, thanks

obsessional · 18/06/2026 15:55

Beachdrift · 18/06/2026 15:50

Older/elder and younger if there are only two. Youngest/eldest implies more than two.

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Ahhh! Thank you