Am I being over cautious or sensible? 15yr olds and spa

What fun, she's going to be upset if you change your mind. So long as they are reasonably sensible girls I would let my daughter go, maybe a small lecture on behaving etc before she leaves, they'll have a blast. I would buy her pringles and haribo and wave her off.

You're being a bit overcautious, that's having teenagers, wait until she's clubbing at seventeen with fake ID. Hanging out with people who take coke in pub toilets etc, you've got to trust them to make good choices, scary stuff.

Most hotel spas in my area don't allow under 16's regardless if they're supervised by an adult or not. You will need to check with the hotel, what their policy is. Is there a pool that they can use, that is separate from the spa? What will the plan be, if the spa isn't an option? Is it a country hotel, away from the town or could the girls go into the local town easily?

What poor judgment has she shown?

Honestly I doubt anyone in the hotel will be checking IDs at the spa entrance. As long as they don't look much younger than 16 they should be fine.

I was going to clubs when I was nearly 16. Them going to a spa is the least of your worries.

Tell your daughter to bring a bottle of water to the spa and don't stay in the sauna too long. I wouldn't even bother saying anything about potential creepy men. In my experience, spas in hotels are nearly exclusively populated by women, and they're 15, they already know about creepy men. Don't take the good out of the experience.

Other than that, don't be sneaking drinks at the bar when her mate's mum's back is turned, try and get SOME sleep, and have fun.

I'd be worried they wouldn't be allowed in as many spas are over 16.
I'd want to know before they went so I could manage expectations.

I admit, I would also be worried about them navigating the men who take over the jacuzzi and steam room in these places, it can be somewhat uncomfortable.

You haven’t already checked? I would have been on their website like a rat up a drainpipe. 😁

What are you so anxious about? What do you think will happen?

Surely you know your daughter well enough to trust her judgement.

But what ‘poor judgement’ would come into it? What is there for the mother to misjudge? It’s a spa, not Creamfields. What are you worried is going to happen to a couple of 15-year-olds there? They won’t be having treatments. They’ll just be using the pool and possibly a steam room and/or jacuzzi or something. Presumably you’d let your 15-year-old and a friend go to a swimming pool, so what’s the issue specifically with a spa?

So you’re worried about your 15 year old using a swimming pool, jacuzzi and steam room in a nice hotel? I have 2 14yos and genuinely cannot figure out why you’re worried.

Spas are often 16+

If you think the parents don't share your values it's ok to decline, but at that age if you would let them go out alone then this doesn't seem worse than that.

The alternative would be you arrange something you are more comfortable with (pay for nearby cinema tickets?) and take a bit of control back.

To second what others have said, I’m not sure what the issue is if your daughter is generally sensible?
I often went to the local swimming pool with friends from about 14yrs, isn’t just a more upmarket version of that?
by 16 I was drinking down the local park so I think a spa day/hotel evening sounds preferable to that….

It’s a spa, what do you think could possibly happen? She’ll drink too much cucumber water?

Don't most parents take friends awaf for company for their own.teenagers? I know i did when mine were teens, if you don't want your Dd unsupervised in a hotel can her friend stay with you

What’s wrong with that? The friend can provide company for your DD and the opportunity / experience of staying in a hotel and using a spa - lucky girls.

What are you worried about that could happen in a sauna/jacuzzi/steam-room/pool to an almost 16 year old?

The things that you’re worried about can happen in any place your daughter goes to.

Sounds fine to me! I was off partying in clubs and pubs all summer when I finished my GCSEs. I had an amazing time!

The mother wants your daughter to provide company for her daughter.
How big is this hotel and who will be there?
I’d remind the girls to stick together and not to separate eg to go back to the room for a forgotten item. Plus don’t open the room door from the outside if anyone else, male or female, is in the vicinity.

I am sure she will love it.
I am not sure what is worrying you but don't stop her going.

I’d have loved this myself at 15!
even if they can’t go in the spa they can hang out and have food and stuff I’m sure your daughter will have a great time, I wouldn’t worry at all - what a lovely invitation.

I assume the mum will be busy organising the event in the hotel and won't be with them in the spa? 15 would be old enough in my opinion to use a pool/steam room/sauna unsupervised.

YANBU for thinking they might not be allowed in the spa without an adult, if at all, but YABU to be 'anxious' about it at that age.

What is it you're worried about? NT 15/16 YOs should be quite independent, able to go places with friends eg shopping, cinema, swimming etc and I don't see how this is any different.

It sounds lovely, if they can’t use the spa, they can hang out in their room, eat crap and watch tv surely!

Of course it’s fine don’t be ridiculous. It’s a spa not a club.