Am I being over cautious or sensible? 15yr olds and spa

I can't see exactly what you are worried about? In 2 to 3 years she could be living alone, traveling alone, having sex. She needs to start doing things on her own and practicing for adult life. This sounds very safe

Exactly, I don't see the hotel spa as being an unsafe space compared to other scenarios that 15 year old girls probably encounter regularly.

Ummm, even then that would have been illegal....so don't think that is a great example!

But I agree that the spa seems perfectly harmless.

But this surely needs to be taught to all
our girls from a young age in every situation from school, public transport, extra curricular clubs, family members - though I agree a ‘reminder’ in new situations is always good.

I suggest that this is an ideal introduction as the friend’s mother will be nearby and you can have a mild conversation with her so she is prepared

At 15, I was taking the train 4 hours away to spend school holidays, 2+ weeks at a time, living with my 20 year old boyfriend. 😂

I’ve been away to spa hotels twice this year with my 13 year old. It was lovely, though obviously she was supervised by me. The spa had special hours when under 16s were allowed in. I can’t see really how much trouble they could get into at a spa hotel!

Glad to read that others mentioned the need sadly to be aware that there may be men who are pests or worse and how to respond. Wish it was not the case, but realism is needed.

Lots of hotels I've been to are leisure centres that non-residents can visit/join. I think this is why I see them as being full of men. I was in one in Liverpool recently and I was the only woman at one point (I was visiting with my DS 14). That said, the men were generally really nice and didn't make me feel awkward.

If it's a spa-only hotel for residents then that is different (but even more unlikely to allow under 16s in the spa).

It all depends on the specific hotel.

SHe'll likely need to say she's 16 if asked ... and just let them enjoy themselves

This wouldn't have troubled me at all when my DD was 15 because she had already proved herself to be sensible, had stayed with me in lots of hotels, and was a competent swimmer. There are lots of situations mothers of 15-year olds can worry about, but unless your DD is reckless and foolhardy, this isn't one of them, in my view.

Too funny. That made me spit out my Jasmine tea.

Sounds like a nice time in a safe and controlled environment, and they’ll be there together, not her on her own. I can’t see the problem.

Absolutely fine.
i think that two 15/nearly 16 year olds going to the spa who have some magazines etc will go broadly unnoticed. Children are not allowed usually from a splashing / games perspectives.
At several hotels only the pool is mixed gender, and very frequently the sauna part is in the respective changing room. Even if it’s not, maybe encourage them to feel more than comfortable leaving if they need, alerting staff if there’s a problem, or (as presume they have the whole day) wait their turn or move to a different part of the spa.

It all seems pretty wholesome to me .
I won’t tell you how I marked finishing my O levels .
This is a healthy normal thing to benefit her independence and build confidence.
It’s part of growing up .
What poor judgement has the mum shown in the past ?

I suspect the hotel probably won't allow them to use the spa unsupervised, but personally (apart from that) I don't think I'd be concerned. What is it you are worried about?

It's a spa break not the Reading Festival. I think I might have been a bitcbored at that age

This is my view too. Going to the spa at my gym is like going to a Bulgarian bath house at times - 75% men. I find hotel spas to be the exact opposite.

Have you had conversations with your daughter about what to do with unwanted attention from males.

How she should never feel frightened to report someone, ask for help or walk away?

How her body is hers and someone touching it or commenting on it without her permission is unacceptable and she should never stand for it?

How she should be loud and angry rather than quiet and nervous when it comes to standing up for herself and her rights.

Men don't tend to go to a spa unless they are there with a partner. Going to a regular leisure centre is more risky than a hotel spa.

They will be together and there will be staff close by.

When I was that age I was down an ally somewhere with my mates trying to bun a spliff in gale force winds. Spa sounds pretty civilised! Maybe give the mum a call if you’re worried?

Generally spas don't let under 16s in because a) it's meant to be a tranquil environment without boisterous children and b) sauna's and jacuzzis can be very hot and younger teens/children can pass out quite easily if they stay in too long. Reasonably, they don't want to take responsibility for that. It's not a child protection thing.

And I expect the OP would be equally concerned once they turned 16, it's not the couple of months that's making a difference.

We always worry as parents. Worst case scenario is always our default. It's not unreasonable for the OP to ask the question. But a hotel spa during the day for two unsupervised 15 year olds is a reasonable amount of independence and something the vast majority of 15 year olds should be allowed to do. OP just needed a bit of other people's perspective.

But when they are 16 they can go in, so you are worried that because they are 2 months younger, they are at risk?!

Its fine. Honestly.

Exactly. You’re in for a bumpy ride if you don’t allow this sort of thing op. It’s a very small step towards independence. Especially as teens, who haven’t been allowed age appropriate freedom go wild once they taste freedom.

And you have to accept that not all parents have the same values. Your dd will soon be out in the world. And as @Bristolandlazy says, in a blink of an eye, your dd will be clubbing on fake ID… but I thought it was more ket these days than coke?