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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this should have been picked up sooner?

143 replies

Frequency · 18/06/2026 10:20

DD has been ill the last few days with tonsillitis. She called me yesterday morning at 5 a.m., telling me her tonsils were so swollen she couldn't breathe. She has anxiety, so I assumed it was a panic attack, and she did seem to breathe more easily once she calmed down, but she still maintained her breathing was restricted because of her tonsils, so I directed her to the pharmacist (still believing it was a panic attack/anxiety)

The pharmacist looked in her throat and told her that her tonsils were swollen and that he could see "white stuff," but ultimately, there is nothing that can be done for tonsillitis, so he sent her home with a throat-numbing spray and advice to rest and contact her GP if it got worse.

She came home very distressed, which I still believed was anxiety, but I told her to contact her GP if she was in enough pain that she felt she needed to be seen that day. I heard her on the phone telling them one side of her throat was more swollen than the other side, and it was making her "feel" like she couldn't breathe easily. She also told them she'd not eaten in 48 hours as she couldn't swallow but was managing small sips of liquid with difficulty. She was told there were no appointments and nothing could be done for tonsillitis, so try to rest, drink plenty of fluids, and call 111 if it gets worse.

She tried 111 immediately but kept getting directed to a voice message giving her details on how to find an emergency NHS dentist. She was in too much pain to keep trying, so she put the phone down and went to bed in tears. I did manage to get through on 111 on her behalf, who also said it was tonsillitis and to rest/drink fluids, but to call back if it got worse.

The second I finished work, she was up begging me to take her to the walk-in center. I did, but at this point, not being a medical professional, I still thought it was tonsillitis and anxiety.

As soon as she was seen, they told us to go to A and E immediately and to call 999 if she felt like the swelling was worsening on the way there. The on-call ENT specialist was called out to meet us there.

It turns out she had an abscess on her tonsil, which is very serious because it can worsen rapidly and prevent breathing. People have died from not getting treatment quickly enough, apparently.

AIBU to think this should have been picked up by the pharmacist, the GP, and the 111 algorithm? The main warning sign is one tonsil being significantly more swollen than the other, which she told all three services, along with trouble breathing and swallowing.

I realise I didn't help by dismissing it as anxiety, but I am not a medical professional and wasn't aware that tonsil abscesses were a thing, let alone a potentially life-threatening thing.

OP posts:
Mischance · 18/06/2026 12:23

I do not think people should be getting at the OP - how was she to know the pharmacist, the surgery and 111 were getting it wrong? They are there to provide sound advice and failed to do so. All of them should have known that a quinsey can be life-threatening and should have erred on the side of caution. It is not up to OP or her DD to know that.

I hope she is now on the mend.

IvysMum12 · 18/06/2026 12:22

Shame on those people making nasty remarks.
If tonsillitis is bacterial, of course she must be treated.
These box tickers relying on algorithms are downright dangerous.
My pulmonary embolism was ignored because it was only a 6% possibility.
I do hope your daughter is feeling much better soon.

Toddlerteaplease · 18/06/2026 12:19

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Orangemintcream · 18/06/2026 12:18

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Quinsy is life threatening. That’s the point. The abscess can block the airway.

LeebLeefuhLurve · 18/06/2026 12:16

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Quinsy is a serious complication and can become life-threatening, unless said human has a spare airway to hand.

It's easy to look back on things with hindsight, OP. It might be worth feeding back to the pharmacist etc what the diagnosis was, I would want to know if someone I had advised developed a complication.

concertinacornflake · 18/06/2026 12:16

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The NHS describes it as an emergency as it is potentially life threatening.

Your post is medical disinformation.

Orangemintcream · 18/06/2026 12:16

I would expect the pharmacist the GP and 111 to be aware of quinsy yes.

There was a very sad case recently where a young man died as the 999 algorithm would not allow whatever the higher priority ambulance is.

I would be speaking the the pharmacy and the GP to see if lessons can be learned fully expecting them to deflect and ignore you (sadly that’s my experience of care being poor and opportunities being missed).

concertinacornflake · 18/06/2026 12:15

Frequency · 18/06/2026 11:28

She is finally getting help for her anxiety. I think that actually made me more dismissive of her this time. If she'd been worried enough about her health to phone her GP herself instead of asking her sister or me to call on her behalf, this time last year, I would have immediately paid attention, but making phone calls for herself is one of the goals she set with her MH team, so I didn't pay any attention to her doing that.

The way you treated your DD is how the worst doctors treat patients with anxiety - assuming everything is anxiety.

Username999999 · 18/06/2026 12:15

Not sure why you’re getting such a hard time here OP.

Our GPs are massively snowed under and our EDs are packed out 24/7. That’s why people are encouraged to attend a pharmacy with sore throats etc, and pharmacists are supposed to be able to identify those that need further treatment. Pus on the tonsils appears as white spots and is an indication for antibiotics so once the pharmacist had correctly identified this and if they were unable to prescribe them (some pharmacists are prescribers) then they should have referred your dd on. It’s a fuck up.

Well done to her for continuing to seek medical attention, I hope she feels better soon.

CosyAndSnug · 18/06/2026 12:14

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Quinsy can be fatal if the swollen tissue blocks the airway. That's why it's treated as a medical emergency and the ENT doctor was waiting at hospital to treat OP's daughter upon arrival. So it is a "big deal".

YANBU OP. The same thing happened to me, although 111 arranged an emergency GP appointment for me, and the GP did not diagnose it correctly and gave me a dose of low level antibiotics, which were wholly inadequate.

Later that day I went to A&E because it was becoming unbearable, and the triage nurse insinuated that I was wasting his time because I had already seen a GP earlier that day.

I opened my mouth so he could see the swelling. He immediately knew what it was but did not apologise to me for suggesting I'd wasted his time. He actually called his trainee nurses into the room so that they could see the swelling and told them this was Quinsy and what to look out for.

I was sent straight through to the ENT doctor, who drained the abscess and said I had come in in the nick of time and therefore wouldn't need to be admitted. But if I'd left it any longer, it would have been a medical emergency.

So glad your daughter has been seen and treated OP and I'm sorry that you had this experience.

lornad00m · 18/06/2026 12:12

God help you if you struggle with mental illness and become physically unwell. It's difficult to be taken seriously by anyone, including the medical profession. Especially if you're a woman. The potential delays in treatment can have serious consequences.

Glad your daughter's okay.

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 18/06/2026 12:11

She also told them she'd not eaten in 48 hours as she couldn't swallow but was managing small sips of liquid with difficulty

Regardless of any other symptoms she had that you didn't realise the significance of, not eating for 2 days and not being able to drink properly is a potential medical emergency.

Did that not occur to you?

Agree with PP that you're feeling guilty and trying to deflect responsibility. I hope she improves quickly.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 18/06/2026 12:10

Yabu. She should have went to a&e first if she was feeling so bad. The pharmacist is medically competent as a pharmacist not a consultant.

Pinkdayss · 18/06/2026 12:07

My daughter is 18 too.
Must have been going around.

She was very sick for the bones of a week.

Niceness2026 · 18/06/2026 12:05

This is really upsetting to hear. As the exact thing happened to me. From the pharmacy to gp appointment. I ended up quite unwell in hospital for a few days on iv antibiotics and something else I can't remember which. Wish your dd a quick recovery x

Aparecium · 18/06/2026 12:03

18yo ds at uni had the same symptoms. Pharmacist gave him same reply and spray, plus advice to call 111 if swelling got worse. It did. But in his case 111 sent ds to OOH where he was examined and given given antibiotics.

Viral tonsillitis may not be treated with meds, but bacterial is. And you cannot differentiate between them over the phone.

Pinkdayss · 18/06/2026 12:00

Tonissister · 18/06/2026 10:30

Pharmacists aren't medics but they are expected to perform the role of GPs these days.

My daughter had this a month ago.
Even I, a complete non medic, knows white spots indicates an infection, which i double checked on google, rang our doctor, whom confirmed it.
She sent a prescription through for me to collect.

This is appalling and you need to go back and report it to them.

This is very very basic.

I saw the white spots using the phone light in her mouth.

Toddlerteaplease · 18/06/2026 11:56

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Pessismistic · 18/06/2026 11:52

Hi op unfortunately the nhs just fob people off now. dr appointments need booking at 8am ridiculous if you get sick after this time. I would go the walk in first. I would be grateful the walk in did there job properly and go to them in future. Pharmacies have limited experience on few issues. 111 can take forever to get you heard.

honeylulu · 18/06/2026 11:48

Yes that's quite poor. 111 will often triage certain things which are likely to be no complex that a pharmacist can provide advice/treatment for. But if they identify it as complex they are meant to send you back to 111.

Had this with my child's ear infection. 111 sent us to pharmacist. She had one look and said it's a complex ear infection and beyond my remit. So back to 111 and got a doctor's appointment, then a prescription. That's how it should work.

White stuff on tonsils needed escalation beyond painkillers.

BillieWiper · 18/06/2026 11:47

Well no. It was discovered by an ENT specialist. Which means the others who saw it were not specialist enough to diagnose this condition. They don't have the knowledge, the equipment or the authority to do so.

If someone presents with swollen tonsils and keeps mentioning tonsillitis, that is what will be taken as the condition. Until a specialist has a chance to look at it. They did all say to escalate it if it got worse. Which you did.

Same as a GP or 111 or pharmacist couldn't diagnose a lump as cancerous.

FavouritePrettyEmbroideredBlouse · 18/06/2026 11:38

pizzaHeart · 18/06/2026 10:26

white spots mean tonsillitis tonsillitis requires antibiotics. Its very simple. Of course she had anxiety- she struggled with breathing.
Has she told you about what pharmacist said?

This isn’t necessarily correct. You can have white spots from a viral infection.

truffleruffle · 18/06/2026 11:37

There’s no point in torturing yourself. A lesson to be learned here. It’s a shame she experienced this as it will make her worry if it happens again.
I went through similar with my son when he had a broken arm and was in pain the whole night. And was sent home from hospital. When we went back to hospital the following day his X-ray the bone in his wrist was broken in several places. And required surgery with K wires. It didn’t show in first X-ray as there was too much swelling.
I try to act on my instinct now. Hope your daughter recovers and is ok.

Frequency · 18/06/2026 11:28

smallglassbottle · 18/06/2026 11:17

I think she needs treatment for her anxiety so that she has a better baseline for functioning in her normal life. She might not be fobbed off so much then.

She is finally getting help for her anxiety. I think that actually made me more dismissive of her this time. If she'd been worried enough about her health to phone her GP herself instead of asking her sister or me to call on her behalf, this time last year, I would have immediately paid attention, but making phone calls for herself is one of the goals she set with her MH team, so I didn't pay any attention to her doing that.

OP posts:
smallglassbottle · 18/06/2026 11:28

Of course the pharmacist should know about quinsy. It's not a rare infection. Telling someone there's "white stuff" on their tonsils is perhaps indicative of the poor quality of education that's taking place on these courses. Someone with a masters degree shouldn't be this sloppy. They should also know about complications and direct them to the hospital. I knew all this as a second year student nurse.