No point in coming on holiday with children under 5

Personally I never put up with whining - if that’s what you mean. I couldn’t bear it in anyone else’s children - it really grated. I would tell dds that unless they talked properly, I was deaf. They soon learnt.

100%
You end up limited to May Half Term and the summer. That being said, nothing a good coat and some decent waterproof trousers won't fix..

This is just not the case for me, I love holidays with mine. We have always gone away just us, I know people who only go away with family but it’s just not for me.

They’re both under 5 now but I’ve been travelling with them since birth due to family living considerable distances away so I think the idea of a journey, packing or being away from home isn’t this once a year really built up thing.

Totally depends on the dc. Ours were easy at that age. One was a bit of a runner but that wasn’t an issue on holiday.
definitely having one parent sick doesn’t help.

Smiles in 10 year old with ADHD and 21 with autism…

Really depends on the children.

Oldest two as baby and toddlers were a breeze and we took them all over. Both boys are ND with the oldest having a global delay, non-verbal, no sense of risk or safety and at their ages 11 and 8 and also have a toddler, we have to do separate trips otherwise I’m going to need a solo trip to recover from a holiday itself although saying that I’m in desperate need of respite from both DH and the kids for at least a week to actually feel like it does something.

DH knows that I’m not going on any more abroad holidays with his family (not a fan of beach holidays anyway) because it is too expensive for our family and not relaxing at all for me personally when I’ll be the one being on constant alert in a foreign country because oldest can and will run off like a spooked deer if a noise upsets him, waking at every noise and double checking windows, doors, are fully locked and make sure he doesn’t know where keys are because he can open doors on his own which mil and sil found out the hard way when he went into the key box used the front door keys and ran out of MIL’s home and they couldn’t find him for 30 minutes when DH took the two boys alone while I had the toddler.

It really is a toss up. I recall my own summer holidays and my sister was the whiner but she also was hard to please, picky, and would have been happy in just a hotel room watching tv, used to drive my dad mad because of the expense and she just wanted to do the same things she did at home. She became much better as a young adult but think it was more because her friends were going to other countries and she didn’t want to be left out and found she enjoyed it compared to staying in the country.

If found that the types of holidays that work easiest at these ages are the opposite of what I thought. City breaks and driving holidays seem to be less stressful than AI hotel with pool holidays. There is less hope of lounging around relaxing so less disappointment and kids are either contained in a car seat or buggy more of the time. A city hotel it's a pool can work well, one swim a day for an hour to tire them out but not trying to chill. A museum and a park or something like that for running around and lots of picnics or restaurants with outside eating.

I’m sorry you’ve spent all that money and you aren’t having a nice time OP.

Looking back, I don’t think our holidays with an under 5 were the best, and we’ve only got the one. And I don’t remember Cornwall as being any easier than Spain! But I think if you’ve spent less money, then it’s not so painful. Maybe try a short break at Butlins or Haven? Plenty of activities but things are a bit more familiar without the heat and long journey.

Then take appropriate clothing, macs and wellies and go to places where they can tramp through woods and splash in puddles.

Kids are just as happy pootling about with a sandy beach, rock pools and paddling. I am not surprised when they over react to changes that are overwhelming, starting off with stressful journeys then moving on to experiences like buffet breakfasts with too much choice, loud pools with too many people, huge hotels that are completely impersonal and have nothing familiar about them.

Downsize your expectations for a few years until your kids are able to deal with change. Research UK holiday cottages near family friendly beaches and resorts, spend money on food delivery that requires minimal prep. Find local attractions small zoos, steam train rides etc and do one every other day alternating with a beach day . Keep it simple, much more relaxing for everyone.

Problem then is the weather.

Being in some crap holiday cottage in the pouring rain, cooking, cleaning and tidying up… argh!

Cottage holiday in the UK until they’re old enough to enjoy holidays abroad definitely!

It’ll get easier as time goes on. Hopefully 3 year old finds a little friend to annoy instead.

It depends very much on the type of child and also the extent to which you are willing to vary your holiday expectations and still feel that it's a worthwhile and enjoyable break.

Both my kids were challenging as babies and toddlers shall we say. After each one we didn't go on holiday at all until they were two and a half because I knew it would just be "same shit different bucket" but more expensive and without home comforts like black out curtains.

When we did start holidaying with kids it was very different to what we'd done before. Our first liked his own space for sleeping and couldn't drop off if he shared with us. So we did Eurocamp holidays in cabins so he got his own room and we had a living room and deck to enjoy after he'd gone to bed or sunbathe/read on the deck while he had a nap . It was also easier to have breakfast and lunch in the cabin and just brave one meal out, which we had to eat fast because he was a bolter. Mini disco twice a day was a life saver and tired him out.

Second child was happier sharing with us ao we started doing all inclusive hols (had never done them before) but in apartment hotels so we had a bit more space. Fussy eater so she liked seeing the food first in the buffet. Again lots of activities on site to keep them busy. They both liked kids club, we didn't send them all the time but it gave us a break and they had fun and made friends. When we ventured out to go sightseeing we saw/walked a lot less than before kids and had to build in more drinks/ice cream breaks and if we passed a playground we always said yes we can stop here for a play for 20 mins (groaning inwardly but it was worth it to avoid moaning and tantrums).

I promise holidays got more enjoyable and adventurous as they got older. Yes the teen years meant a lot of skulking in the room with the wifi and air con but we left him to it and went to the pool.

Our youngest is 12 and had a fab few days with her in Paris a few months ago. She's become a great little travelling companion and now happily walks for miles! So different from the holiday where I had to piggyback her all over Corfu because she kept sitting on the pavement refusing to walk!

Sorry that is a lot! But once you lower your expectations and work out what works you'll have cracked it!

We always did eurocamp or self catering at home when kids were small. It is a difficult age they are out of routine and in new surroundings so a bit all over the place. Try and keep them in routine if possible and make sure they get their sleep/ food as normal, it is probably hot as well which they are not used to, they will adjust better in a couple of days. And as with most things lower your expectations keep things simple.
Hope your dh is feeling better soon

We did years of UK holidays in places like Cornwall and Scotland. Northumberland. Self catering. Waitrose bring the wine. Let the kids run feral on a beach. The kids are now secondary school age and we can take them backpacking. It's ace.
I am not interested in AI places nor going to somewhere like Vienna or Lisbon to hang out at a neighbourhood park.
So glad we did what we did (we also had a disastrous holiday abroad before we resorted to Plan B).

My friend used to take her dd on holidays and the first two were like that and then she said she started thinking and saying ‘isn’t it so cool that we are at a pool on a Wednesday ? Isn’t it so cool that we are eating out on a Friday?’ She said all of their mindsets changed because they stopped thinking ‘we need to enjoy this, why aren’t we enjoying this?’ and started thinking of how lucky they were. She said if she’d said how lucky they were she probably would have irritated herself 😅

Also I agree to young gif hotel holidays but you should think about stopping thinking about the cost if you’re going to pay it. Our last holiday was a ‘trip of a lifetime’ which was one of the worst holidays ever, punctuated by dh saying he couldn’t believe we’d paid so much (and reiterating the cost over and over!), that we could have fixed the bathroom etc etc etc.

Hopefully it gets easier x

We have 4 under 5 plus older and never went abroad till they were 2 and no problems but then again we made it clear very young whining etc isn't acceptable and patience is always rewarded. Before they were 2 we just did holiday houses in uk

Hopefully things will improve when DH recovers.

Mine didn’t whinge like that on holiday at that age, they saved those delights til the teenage years!

If it isn’t working for you, do a static caravan site in UK next year. 💐

We always travelled abroad when our girls were little although I admit neither of ours were whiners or tantrum throwers so we always had a really lovely time. But it definitely depends on your DC and how they cope with travelling, heat, crowds, etc and whether you all enjoy it.

So I think, you have tried it, it doesn't seem to work for your family, so maybe give them a miss until the kids are a bit older.

We also had a second holiday separate from our 2 weeks abroad, and did a week in a holiday home in the UK. Close to the beach and town and we did local attractions, castles, beach days, aquariums, walks, ice creams and donuts and fairgrounds. We had just as good a time doing UK breaks as we did abroad so maybe this kind of thing would work better for you.

For the rest of your holiday try and get some routine in place, plan as much as you can the night before how the following day is going to pan out, who is doing what, and what you are going to do and where you are going to go. For trips, eating etc also as it just takes the stress off if everyone knows what is what the day before.

Hope your DH is better soon and when he is, take it in turns with the pool time and general parenting and you will get to read on your lounger for a while and relax in the sun.

We prefer to travel and stay in air b&b type places so we have our own space once they’re in bed, we hire a car and go out exploring each day, travelling around the country we’re visiting. I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and it’s not ‘relaxing’ but I think trying to force relaxation when kids are those ages is more stressful than just getting out!

We do have the odd beach afternoon if we are feeling lazy which works well if you station yourselves near a beach bar and have an assortment of buckets, spades, monster trucks 🤣 we even packed a mini paddling pool one year and once we’d gone to the effort of filling it.. that bought us a relatively quiet drink on the beach!

Your 3 year old doesn't give a shit that it's supposed to be a holiday or that it was expensive. They're just having a stressful time in an unfamiliar place with lots of strange stressful events leading up to it and lots of new, stressful things out of their routine and sense of normality happening.

It's not fun for them so it won't be for you. Sorry you spent so much money and like others have said, do something different next time or just don't go on holiday for a while.

It really depends on your child, been doing trips abroad with my twin boys since they were 6 months old and we've had a good time at resorts and hotels but that's because they love to observe things, enjoy pools, and don't whinge or moan that much

I much preferred a centre parcs type holiday when mine were that little. Everything on site, separate bedrooms and activities galore!

I know centre parcs is hated on here but just parking up and leaving the car for a week, eating out at child friendly restaurants and the activities and water parks aimed at small children felt like an actual holiday! we only started abroad holidays again when the youngest was 4!

Sorry about the moaning. I did have a DD who screamed (meltdowns) but I didn't allow whingeing (kids are not usually out of control when they are moaning) and just said they need to ask me in a nice voice. My boys were fine, no moaning or screaming. DD used to be very persistent in asking for things but at least she asked in a normal voice, I can't stand whining!

When DH is feeling better you can still have a nice time. Now must be v hard with 2 young ones though. Eyes in the back of your head! DD may be unsettled by him being ill.

Just enjoy not having to cook or other household tasks, and try to see the nice bits (easier said than done, but I'm sure there are some). I love coming back to clean room which I didn't clean!