No point in coming on holiday with children under 5

Somewhere like this is much easier with very little ones: https://luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk

You still get the hotel/holiday feel but lots of amenities that make it easier and fun for children.

We had a shit holiday abroad when our twins were 3 ... that must be peak arsehole age for holidays.

The following year we took a week off work and stayed at home ... went out to a farm, the zoo, maybe risked a lunch out but that had its issues at that age, and also had a couple of chilled days in the garden (we did it fairly last minute so knew the forecast was reasonable).

In the evenings we fed the girls and put them to bed, then got a takeaway with wine for ourselves, or a really nice ready meal from Waitrose/M&S.

I think we did that for a couple of years .. by the time they were 5 or 6 the holidays really improved!

They're adults now and they've both left home .... I'm prob looking back with rose tinted glasses sometimes ... I bet those kindle ladies are too!

Hope your DH feels better and you enjoy some of it OP.

Sorry but a villa holiday with young kids sounds utter shite. Having to shop for and prepare 3 meals a day, constantly supply snacks and sweep floors/wipe surfaces - no thanks! Yes you can eat out but dragging young kids to a local restaurant in a hot car is miserable IMO. Like being at home but with a less comfortable bed and having to drink local wine from thick glasses.

Luxury AI all the way!

The thing is with this, one has to start somewhere! There is nothing in the OP to suggest she isn’t handling it correctly, but actually handling it is still stressful. Behaviour modification doesn’t happen overnight. I remember once when my ds was screaming in the trolley because he wanted something he wasn’t allowed to have and I was dealing with the shopping and not giving in , a man tapped me on the shoulder and hissed “if I were you I would ignore that kind of behaviour “. I WAS bloody ignoring it! That is what ignoring it looks like.

My first ds didn’t start this until he was three. I didn’t have to preempt the behaviour before because he wasn’t doing it.

Nothing like a small child to poleaxe the holiday vibes.

If it’s any consolation, the first 48 hours or so of a holiday I always find stressful with my kids until they settle down and stop being overwhelmed by the new environment/routine and also they seem extra tired from the travel, but have massive FOMO so refuse to nap/give in
Hope you’re husband is better soon so you don’t have to do it solo for much longer

I always brought my 3 when they were small.
Mine were fine unless they were tired, so would be in bed by 8pm every evening.
If they were tired, they wouldn't eat, drink, play or do anything only fight with each other.
Mine aways needed 12 hours of sleep per night, or they would be walking round bumping into things.

She's probably just excited for today and will calm down later on.
Good food and good sleep kept my kids happy

One hotel room and a pool type holiday is usually a recipe for disaster with children that age your children are.

When DS got to the stage where he need entertainment and a things to be a certain way we did a couple of haven trips to wales and Cornwall and we did A year of making the best of Merlin passes when he was a little bit older - London, Blackpool, Surrey.

We generally do villas or apartments and tend to focus on easy access for what we want to do. Ie, went to Hawaii last year and stayed in an apartment/hotel type place and could order food from our Sun loungers. Beach was right there, good pool for DC. My parents also often come.

Skiing we would usually get a biggish cabin so DC had plenty of indoor space to play. Made sure to be right by restaurants so we could get takeaway easily.

We absolutely do long haul and go to nice places though, fuck this just put wellies on and splash in puddles. Grim.

We’re just back from a week at a Eurocamp in Italy with a 4 and 2 year old, cost £1.5k. We had low expectations and previously have done the coast breaks in the uk. Eurocamp worked for us because lots of pools and great weather (the main reason we didn’t do uk again.) Went on boat rides/to a water park and ate lots of pasta and ice cream. It wasn’t a holiday in the same way, it’s still parenting just in another country but the access to pools was fantastic- kept them both entertained for hours. There wasn’t luxury but knowing it cost us under £2k meant we didn’t mind!

Well yeah this is how it goes. Its an expensive lesson. We still wrnt on holjdays but made sure they had creche and kids clubs. Otherwise its easier and more enjoyable to stay at home with space, all your stuff and their proper beds and your living room, tv, washing machine, high chair, medical cabinet and everything else.

Agree, 'holiday' with small kids is hard. Mine are always a bit unsettled in the new environment, don't sleep as well. I find eating in restaurants particularly difficult with my youngest, she doesn't sit still and is a fussy eater.
We have found renting a 3 bedroom air bnb/cottage/villa with a pool (or near the beach) best. And if in the UK just doing a shorter break or some days off at home visiting local zoo/farm parks etc.

My eldest is now 5 and it is getting easier.

@choccakeE a 3 year old likes walks, puddles, animals, bugs etc...

When DS was 3 we went to Devon and went rockpooling, some walks, some animal parks, and various other child outings. Didn't cost much as it was term time. We bought M&S food that needed very little prep. It was quite chilled and fun!

I think you've chosen the wrong type of holiday for your family.

I agree OP. We’re still in the trenches here and have only bothered when it’s a group holiday and there will be older kids (which my DS loves) or it’s something unavoidable like a foreign wedding. A week in the sun just for the sake of it does not appeal and anything more adventurous is impossible. I used to have great holidays before DS. 😭

Holiday trickiness aside, you need to correct her whining RIGHT now! She is learning how to communicate to get what she wants/needs. You need to teach her that whining and/or screaming is NOT the way.
Tell her you can’t understand what she’s saying when she screams, so she needs to use her proper voice.
Likewise, her whiny voice will not be listened to. Speak properly or mummy won’t listen.

Seen a lot of these threads lately. You’ll get mixed replies - my kids were great on holiday, mostly, but could be ungrateful/whingey/sulky in the odd day. We have a glorious picture of them both scowling at Disney, though the rest of the trip they were lovely. Multiple holidays involved ear infections and being stuck in the hotel room watching spongbob on MTV as it was the only english language channel with age approrpriate programmes. In fact the ear infection this was a 3 year in a row issue leading me eventually to persuade my GP to give me some ahead of the holiday so we could get started at the first sign.

On the whole, they have always been well behaved, good travellers, never kicked off… we didn’t take them on hotel holidays until they were 5/8 respectively and it wasn’t their first major experience of being away from home?

By the time we went on holidays they had spent weekend with the GPs, extended to a week. We had been camping with NCT friends and they had been with brownies/beavers (I went too though as a leader). The first 2 major trips were in villas with the PiLs so that they also had a sort of home from home with family. So, in essence, they had been gradually introduced to the idea of a holiday, in a strange place, stepping out of routine, away from their toys and the comfort of familiar things?

As adults we are craving a holiday precisely to step away from that - we want a change, we want to step out of the humdrum of of the daily routine - but for our kids, they haven’t developed that mindset. So I don’t think holidays with young kids are a waste, but I do think you need to build towards them so that they are not too much of a shick to the system. And so that adult expectations are also managed.

Sorry long answer. Not great at brevity.

I have a friend whose 3 year old started tantruming on the plane to Spain and didn't stop until they got on the plane back 😂 she had ice cream for breakfast 5 days in a row so her poor parents could have 5 minutes of silence.

I think we get into a false sense of security at age 3 as they start acting more grown up but really, they are still very little.

YANBU and good luck, you'll survive to tell the tale.

I'm in Mallorca rn with my just turned 4yo. I think being a parent down and having 2 kids is making this really hard for you, OP, though clearly you can't change the 2 kids! It's been bloody hot and they're all out of routine, but hopefully once your DH is better and they've settled a bit, it will be easier. And if you're in a hotel in Alcudia near the port then PM me and I'll come and bring my DD to keep yours company for a bit!

The holiday park we went to was half board. So just needed a sandwich for lunch. No housework as room was cleaned every day if you wanted.

I've a 14 month old and a 10 week old, I'll be doing cottages and lodges at home for the near future. My 14th month old wouldnt sit still on a plane for love or money. Hope your dh feels better soon, op

Never went abroad with kids. Holiday parks all the way. We went with my DM and DF every year. So we had a bit of a break too. It was lovely and and not stressful even with 4 kids.

Some children are more stubborn than others. I have a lot of experience of a lot of children.

We were another eurocamp family. Separate bedrooms plus living area, outside space for DCs to play. Even better when the decked area became more standard.

Unless absolutely baltic, all meals were eaten outside so no need to worry about spills. Self catering meant we could feed the children at a time and with food which suited them then DH and I would eat later.

DCs loved having a new playground to explore. We would do trips out in the morning (a market trip and castles). If we visited a city then we would do the tourist train tour. We would aim to be back in time for DCs to have a swim in the pool.

I dont think the total cost was much less than AI but as a style of holiday it worked for us. So much so that DH and I are on a eurocamp holiday now even though DCs are now adults and do their own thing.

We found that 10 day holidays abroad were best for us. Much cheaper holidays than your though. We had 3 under 4.

First three days absolutely awful, then they settled and the week was fine.