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Original poster

To wonder how people who are A Nightmare at work don't realise they are

59 replies

CurdinHenry · 18/06/2026 07:32

You know the ones - not just shit or mean but flamboyantly stressful and awful and if you end up on a project with them you might have to quit entirely. You try to grey rock them but they drag you back in with unforeseen madness and a true belief that they are the wronged geniuses in a sea of fools. In big organisations they go from team to team and everyone shudders when their name is mentioned (oh yes Sue is going to lead that project on NO not fucking Sue) but no one will ever say because you can't really can you.

But they get distressed and have narcissistic rages when people don't agree with them and add more and more and more chaos and never stop to think

Wait

Is it me?

OP posts:
Beyondamountainandoverthesea · 18/06/2026 08:42

Nickyknackered · 18/06/2026 07:39

I think people's tolerance and patience in general has gone down. Everyone expects others to react and behave exactly like them and see those who don't as 'nightmares'. It's all rather dramatic.

You wouldnt say that if you had the pleasure of working in my NHS nursing team. I moved NHS trusts after 24 years as I relocated and it is like they have put something weird in the water here. I have never met so many bitchy women in one place.

EarringsandLipstick · 18/06/2026 08:41

Sartre · 18/06/2026 07:36

I’m an academic but had a life before academia, I work with academics who just went to uni for 7-8 years then straight into this job. They’re usually lovely people to talk to but have absolutely no idea how to organise anything which drives me mental. I’ve been in meetings before where I’ve actually felt like I was losing my mind. They all just sit going round and round in circles over something super straightforward that could be resolved in seconds. Piss up and brewery.

All of this. I work in a university, in a teaching role, but not an academic. I spend many hours in meetings with academics & can feel like screaming when we get to the end & not a single concrete decision has been made, in fact, the exact same item will be on the agenda next time ….

Sartre · 18/06/2026 08:38

AImportantMermaid · 18/06/2026 07:42

I’m a ‘practice’ academic. I came from a fairly senior position in a well known organisation and although I love working at a university I do get frustrated in meetings where, instead of coming away with actions, we’ve spent 45 minutes debating the exact meaning of ‘strategic’.

Show quote history

Haha, this is just so fucking relatable! Thank you… Last year I tried to help them set up a degree show where students showcased their work. Should have been the most straight forward thing imaginable, simply a case of sorting a bit of catering, some boards/screens to display the work and each academic selected good students to be there. Instead it resulted in about 10 meetings where everyone debated the amount of boards and screens, which discipline should be positioned where, whole cakes or buns? Uni catering or outsourced? Who should we invite? How should we invite? I said I didn’t want to be involved this year, wasn’t worth the hassle!

concertinacornflake · 18/06/2026 07:43

People are complicated, and the workplace is full of people.

Some people do know to some extent, but can't manage to behave differently.

AImportantMermaid · 18/06/2026 07:42

Sartre · 18/06/2026 07:36

I’m an academic but had a life before academia, I work with academics who just went to uni for 7-8 years then straight into this job. They’re usually lovely people to talk to but have absolutely no idea how to organise anything which drives me mental. I’ve been in meetings before where I’ve actually felt like I was losing my mind. They all just sit going round and round in circles over something super straightforward that could be resolved in seconds. Piss up and brewery.

I’m a ‘practice’ academic. I came from a fairly senior position in a well known organisation and although I love working at a university I do get frustrated in meetings where, instead of coming away with actions, we’ve spent 45 minutes debating the exact meaning of ‘strategic’.

Nickyknackered · 18/06/2026 07:39

I think people's tolerance and patience in general has gone down. Everyone expects others to react and behave exactly like them and see those who don't as 'nightmares'. It's all rather dramatic.

Sartre · 18/06/2026 07:36

I’m an academic but had a life before academia, I work with academics who just went to uni for 7-8 years then straight into this job. They’re usually lovely people to talk to but have absolutely no idea how to organise anything which drives me mental. I’ve been in meetings before where I’ve actually felt like I was losing my mind. They all just sit going round and round in circles over something super straightforward that could be resolved in seconds. Piss up and brewery.

Original poster
CurdinHenry · 18/06/2026 07:34

PollyBell · 18/06/2026 07:33

But how do you know you are not thought of as a nightmare at work?

It's a good question but I'm pretty sure. I do manage to make things work (provided I dodge being allocated Sue).

OP posts:
PollyBell · 18/06/2026 07:33

But how do you know you are not thought of as a nightmare at work?