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Original poster

Husband coming home pissed from pub

159 replies

Walesss7 · 17/06/2026 23:38

He’s been watching football down the road, is absolutely bladdered and has fallen into bed and sharted right next to me.

Luckily still clothed but I’ve sent him downstairs. What is wrong with these men? I am dreading the rest of the tournament, it’s a bloody Wednesday night and he has work tomorrow!

OP posts:
hypnovic · 18/06/2026 11:04

Tell him if he can't behave like a fucking adult he doesn't come home. Absaloutey foul. They wonder why women don't want sex with thm christ

Oioiqueen · 18/06/2026 10:59

@Theraininspainishere same as mine. Not only is it a week night but we also had work today. Kids were miffed they were being thrown in the door at 8.40 instead of the soft start school were giving until 10am. Ha!

sittingonabeach · 18/06/2026 10:59

The rate of DV goes up when England play, even if they win

Crikeyalmighty · 18/06/2026 10:56

Theraininspainishere · 18/06/2026 00:08

My DH watched the football quietly on the sofa with a cup of tea. He has some annoying habits, but he has never drunk to excess to this extent and I would never have married him if he had.

I was married to someone like this first time, mining town, it was honestly the norm for ‘a lot ‘ of the menfolk to be regularly bladdered to a ridiculous degree , sometimes with a side of a bit of light domestic abuse, especially if it involved football . Second time I married someone not remotely like this and not really interested in football much either beyond the odd England match and 1 beer or a cup of tea

cramptramp · 18/06/2026 10:53

Getting drunk at the pub is ok. Shitting the bed is not.

OneShyQuail · 18/06/2026 10:51

AutisticLass2026 · 17/06/2026 23:46

So do many of the men in my family, it's a one off so nobody cares our end lol...there enjoying themselves

I dont think you need to shit yourself to enjoy yourself...

Funnily enough you dont need to have a drink to enjoy yourself either 🙄

We enjoyed the match at home, with a coffee and a tea.....went to bed, had a fun time and thankfully neither of us shit the bed (phew)

sittingonabeach · 18/06/2026 10:49

@Detemum for a minute I thought you meant some women enjoy men shitting in their bed. Although some posters on here don’t seem to mind it 🤢

MrsKateColumbo · 18/06/2026 10:42

I think my definition of shart is different to most people's,

LakieLady · 18/06/2026 10:37

the point is was he that piss he lost total control of his bowels or did he fart and unexpectedly followed through which can happen

Fucking hell, it's never happened to me, not even after an all-day piss up or when I had campylobacter food poisoning!

It would be LTB territory if any partner of mine shat the bed.

Gallowayan · 18/06/2026 10:35

AutisticLass2026 · 17/06/2026 23:46

So do many of the men in my family, it's a one off so nobody cares our end lol...there enjoying themselves

So all the men in your family get drunk, pass out and shit themselves after watching football and you think that is normal?😆

bittertwisted · 18/06/2026 10:33

I love the World Cup and will be partaking in lots of pub outings, revelry and drinking with and without husband

but pooing in the bed, that is disgusting and suggests serious issues with alcohol

Thechaseison71 · 18/06/2026 10:25

JudgeJ · 18/06/2026 00:12

It could because he was on cider, far more dangerous than beer!

Show quote history

Im.a cider drinker. Never shat myself even after an all-dayer

FeelingALittleWoozyHere · 18/06/2026 10:18

Does he get this drunk often? Binge drinking to this level is pretty worrying (I say this as an ex binge drinker who definitely had a problem but was in denial for many years)

sleeplessinlondon11 · 18/06/2026 10:17

It's obviously disgraceful behaviour and I'd be reading the riot act but some people on here suggesting actual divorce over this??!! Are you serious?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 18/06/2026 10:16

You picked him. I am sure when you met he was interested in football and alcohol? I actively avoided this type of man, I grew up with one so it was my mission to avoid the type at all cost.

JJWT · 18/06/2026 10:14

Walesss7 · 18/06/2026 00:17

I said that. He won’t bin them until he tries to wash them as they are his best armani boxers he paid a lot of money for.

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He wouldn't be using our washing machine for that - hose over a grid in the garden maybe?

OneAquaFatball · 18/06/2026 10:14

rwalker · 18/06/2026 09:26

Did he full on shit himself
or did he just fart and got caught out

the point is was he that piss he lost total control of his bowels or did he fart and unexpectedly followed through which can happen
same with boxers were they full loaded and caked in shit or was it the mother of all skid marks

howwww did you not stop at any point whilst typing this out and think, no, there has to be more to life than typing these words out to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum about another stranger's husband's bowel movement (and not even getting paid for it)

ChrisTheBastard · 18/06/2026 10:13

Walesss7 · 17/06/2026 23:57

He didn’t go out until 8pm. Said he was drinking cider and had 6 pints and it must have been dodgy. Serious ick right now. I’ve told him he’s doing his washing.

The "dodgy pint" theory. It's just so unlucky that after 11 pints of perfectly good beer the twelfth is so hazardous. Doubtless anyone he was with last night will be similarly afflicted

JJWT · 18/06/2026 10:13

Lochroy · 17/06/2026 23:59

That’s foul. So he has shat himself. And he’s gone downstairs to pass out like that? Assuming you aren’t 23, I’d be reading the bloody riot act with regards to the rest of the tournament. Shame you’re already married or I’d have his bags on the doorstep by the time he comes around tomorrow.

I don't think being married rules that out. I'd definitely be kicking him out.

Whosthetabbynow · 18/06/2026 10:13

Detemum · 18/06/2026 10:11

Exactly. Many women also enjoy it.

Show quote history

Me and dh loved it last night. I had a few beers. Managed to control my bowels 🤭

Slightyamusedandsilly · 18/06/2026 10:12

AutisticLass2026 · 17/06/2026 23:46

So do many of the men in my family, it's a one off so nobody cares our end lol...there enjoying themselves

You're a saint if you tolerate the men in your family getting so pissed they shit themselves. In your bed.

Actually, scrub that. A doormat.

Detemum · 18/06/2026 10:11

Whosthetabbynow · 18/06/2026 10:08

He drank too much and then shit himself. Not good but why the hate for the football? He could’ve behaved in the same way at any time. Maybe he has but it’s the World Cup bashing that I don’t get

Exactly. Many women also enjoy it.

Detemum · 18/06/2026 10:10

Walesss7 · 17/06/2026 23:38

He’s been watching football down the road, is absolutely bladdered and has fallen into bed and sharted right next to me.

Luckily still clothed but I’ve sent him downstairs. What is wrong with these men? I am dreading the rest of the tournament, it’s a bloody Wednesday night and he has work tomorrow!

It's a one in 4 year thing. England won. Let it go.

Ps I'm not even English

Whosthetabbynow · 18/06/2026 10:08

He drank too much and then shit himself. Not good but why the hate for the football? He could’ve behaved in the same way at any time. Maybe he has but it’s the World Cup bashing that I don’t get

Chewbecca · 18/06/2026 09:55

He needs to wear those lucky pants for every remaining match now!