Husband coming home pissed from pub

Empress13 · 23/06/2026 20:21

Show him this thread that’ll sober him up 🤣

99problems99 · 23/06/2026 15:59

Walesss7 · 17/06/2026 23:38

He’s been watching football down the road, is absolutely bladdered and has fallen into bed and sharted right next to me.

Luckily still clothed but I’ve sent him downstairs. What is wrong with these men? I am dreading the rest of the tournament, it’s a bloody Wednesday night and he has work tomorrow!

I’m sorry this doesn’t help your situation, and I know it’s hugely immature of me but I laughed my actual head off when you wrote sharted. Hahahaha my god I don’t know what I’d do.. possibly what people do when cats n dogs shite in the house, rub his nose in it! I’m sure he won’t do it again. Good luck lol

2O26 · 20/06/2026 22:56

Definitely pushing the limit on wedding wows "for better or worse". I suppose "thou doth not shat oneself" is not part of standard vows. Might be worth updating to include that.

Onlyme7575 · 20/06/2026 14:15

Jc2001 · 20/06/2026 08:52

How often does your husband shit himself after drinking?

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Once is enough,I would be off

Jc2001 · 20/06/2026 08:52

Walesss7 · 18/06/2026 13:18

He is feeling very sorry for himself this morning. I think he’s most embarrassed that it was me who had to check after he refused when led next to me. He’s managed to salvage his boxers at least 🙄

How often does your husband shit himself after drinking?

Onlyme7575 · 20/06/2026 08:21

Walesss7 · 18/06/2026 13:18

He is feeling very sorry for himself this morning. I think he’s most embarrassed that it was me who had to check after he refused when led next to me. He’s managed to salvage his boxers at least 🙄

I couldn’t look at him in the same way ever again.that would be it for me.

ThisOneLife · 19/06/2026 14:22

ChristmasCwtch · 18/06/2026 12:55

“Best Armani boxers” eewwww I always binned my DCs’ pants when they had a big accident (lumps of poo, not just skid marks) during potty training.

I can’t believe a grown man wants to wash and then reuse pants that were full of his excrement!!

Do you not have a washing machine?

Pigeonatthewheel · 19/06/2026 14:09

Tryanalogue · 18/06/2026 13:38

You think someone else did it?

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Have you had an accident in the home or the workplace that wasn’t your fault…you may be entitled to compensation…call Binjury Lawyers 4Poo now

Flamingojune · 19/06/2026 08:06

I cant believe he loves armani pants so much either. His priorities seem skewed

GimmieABreakOr3 · 19/06/2026 07:20

rwalker · 18/06/2026 20:28

It really question if was he that pissed he lost control of his bowels

or he genuinely got caught out by thinking it was a fart and slightly followed through completely unrelated to being pissed

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Exactly. I’m sorry, but it does happen. It’s happened to my husband when he wasn’t pissed. It’s called being a human being. It isn’t pleasant no, but it happens unfortunately

JillyComeLately · 18/06/2026 23:39

Walesss7 · 18/06/2026 13:18

He is feeling very sorry for himself this morning. I think he’s most embarrassed that it was me who had to check after he refused when led next to me. He’s managed to salvage his boxers at least 🙄

To complete his embarrassment, show him this thread.
That might concentrate his mind the next time he feels like knocking back 6 pints of the strong stuff.

Namechangee11 · 18/06/2026 20:29

Sharted? Jesus wept, I have never been that drunk in my life!! I am just thinking for me this would be a deal breaker .. seriously! My DH doesn't even fart in front of me....

rwalker · 18/06/2026 20:28

Thebigonesgetaway · 18/06/2026 14:49

wtf, who needs this level of detail ? You will be asking for pictures next.

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It really question if was he that pissed he lost control of his bowels

or he genuinely got caught out by thinking it was a fart and slightly followed through completely unrelated to being pissed

2O26 · 18/06/2026 20:09

GimmieABreakOr3 · 18/06/2026 06:50

How do you know he shat himself?

I am kind of afraid of what the OP's answer will be. Ewww!

2O26 · 18/06/2026 20:03

Hankunamatata · 17/06/2026 23:47

Like actually pooped himself?

Have you heard the expression "never trust a fart"? Let's just say this was a very untrustworthy fart. I had to Google the word shart. "Shart” is a slang term for accidentally pooping when you fart.

GimmieABreakOr3 · 18/06/2026 19:59

Crikeyalmighty · 18/06/2026 18:12

Some very odd people about !!

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I don’t think it’s odd. I was wondering too. Did he just do it in his pants or what?! I don’t get it 😂

GimmieABreakOr3 · 18/06/2026 19:58

Tryanalogue · 18/06/2026 13:38

You think someone else did it?

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No… it was a genuine question.. did it go on the bed?!?!

ChrisTheBastard · 18/06/2026 18:18

Tryanalogue · 18/06/2026 13:38

You think someone else did it?

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😂

Crikeyalmighty · 18/06/2026 18:16

sittingonabeach · 18/06/2026 13:51

A poster before me had said her ex was part of a group who would get bladdered when the football was on and their drunken behaviour could include DV. I’m guessing that is why he is an ex.

So I was just stating that DV increases during competitions like the World Cup.

Surely it’s part of the behaviour that some men think watching football means that they must get drunk, there is no possibility of them watching at home with family or not actually getting drunk when out with mates, and their awful behaviour after such events is just a natural extension of the drinking.

There are already a couple of other threads about men’s drunken behaviour after the football, and in many circles, including many women on MN it is seen as acceptable as it is ‘football’ (obviously not DV, but misogynistic behaviour/comments, toileting in places other than toilets etc all excusable due to their need to get drunk with mates whilst watching the football)

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Yes that was me - luckily I didn’t get the DV - just the pissed up thing - not why he’s an ex totally, but the childish attitude to boozing to extremes was in the mix - but plenty of women I knew from my hometown did get DV on top of the boozing to some degree , especially if England or Nottingham Forest or whoever ‘lost ‘

Crikeyalmighty · 18/06/2026 18:12

Thebigonesgetaway · 18/06/2026 14:49

wtf, who needs this level of detail ? You will be asking for pictures next.

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Some very odd people about !!

Thebigonesgetaway · 18/06/2026 14:49

rwalker · 18/06/2026 09:26

Did he full on shit himself
or did he just fart and got caught out

the point is was he that piss he lost total control of his bowels or did he fart and unexpectedly followed through which can happen
same with boxers were they full loaded and caked in shit or was it the mother of all skid marks

wtf, who needs this level of detail ? You will be asking for pictures next.

UniversityOfLife · 18/06/2026 14:41

Is he off drink for life now?

MajorSamanthaCarter · 18/06/2026 14:07

Walesss7 · 18/06/2026 13:18

He is feeling very sorry for himself this morning. I think he’s most embarrassed that it was me who had to check after he refused when led next to me. He’s managed to salvage his boxers at least 🙄

Did you pick him up under the arms and sniff him?

sittingonabeach · 18/06/2026 13:51

MyLimeGuide · 18/06/2026 13:37

Since when was this thread about violence??

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A poster before me had said her ex was part of a group who would get bladdered when the football was on and their drunken behaviour could include DV. I’m guessing that is why he is an ex.

So I was just stating that DV increases during competitions like the World Cup.

Surely it’s part of the behaviour that some men think watching football means that they must get drunk, there is no possibility of them watching at home with family or not actually getting drunk when out with mates, and their awful behaviour after such events is just a natural extension of the drinking.

There are already a couple of other threads about men’s drunken behaviour after the football, and in many circles, including many women on MN it is seen as acceptable as it is ‘football’ (obviously not DV, but misogynistic behaviour/comments, toileting in places other than toilets etc all excusable due to their need to get drunk with mates whilst watching the football)

Tryanalogue · 18/06/2026 13:38

GimmieABreakOr3 · 18/06/2026 06:50

How do you know he shat himself?

You think someone else did it?