AIBU to think I’ve had the worst onboarding in history?

Sounds awful. Hopefully the boss can change processes so that this doesn't happen again?

I don't really understand what has happened to you but doesn't sound like onboarding issues but rather sounds like a severe lack of communication and managerial oversight. If things were so bad/not happening correctly why didn't you raise it with someone sooner?

Why are so many people being unnecessarily unpleasant on this post? Seeing was clearly a typo for sleeping, she was crying before her shower very clearly explained she was crying at the thought/ stress of going into work…. I cried in the shower every morning when I had to go back to my job after less than 2 months maternity leave. And all this talk of whether onboarding is wanky or not is kind of irrelevant to the post.

Be nice. Oh and my last company who had offices in 12 countries had an entire team called the Onboarding Team. How terribly wanky of us all.

I opened this thread to find out what onboarding problem was…I was imagining some travel issues

Did they remember to pay you at least?

If this was an NHS job it’s an achievement if they even manage to do that!

It is onboarding. I’ve just been writing an onboarding SOP for my organisation so I must be the ultimate wanker! 🤣🤣

I agree that the induction and probation period (sort of) have been badly managed, though interesting to read that it seems to have worked out ok by now. Never good that work brings anyone to tears.

I am sure there have probably been worse, not much consolation if any.

I want some seeing pills!
what’s the significance of you crying before a shower?

Can you really not believe that people don’t know what it means, despite them saying they don’t? Not being able to believe what people don’t know suggests a very narrow existence.

According to Merriam Webster:

Preliminary research dates the noun onboarding to the early 1990s, but it really didn't get much use until the early part of this century, and it's still not familiar to those outside the corporate world. Its verbal counterpart, onboard, is also used, but not as frequently. Some people complain about the term onboarding, which they consider an unfortunate example of annoying business-speak.

Never heard it called onboarding before, made me think of departing on some form of transport for a far away journey Always been called an induction followed by a probationary period. I've had some jobs with little to no induction and it was tough trying to make sense of what was expected of me. Never felt like leaving but one job was so chaotic that it made me very wary and I began to look for something else as soon as I could

No it's not, she's right.

This seems to have absolutely nothing to do with invading/induction/orientation. It’s a company work structure/process/oversight issue which is seperate and distinct.

I’ve never called it onboarding. And I’ve never heard anyone else say it either, unless they are going on a boat!

Not BU at all, but allow me to raise you mine ...

Australian state govt role, medium-high level. I was moving from the private sector and knew govt would be different, but was astounded at how bad, ahem, "strategically ambiguous" it was.
Friday before Day 1: Called to confirm starting time, as nothing in contract. Boss was annoyed when I confirmed X address as in contract, and gave me a completely different address, then said everyone was working from home.
Day I: Arrive on time. Boss glares at me, wanders off and ignores me until the afternoon. No introductory email, no work to begin.
By week 2, still no induction. No IT system training, no written scope of the role, no staff contact list, no IT or HR contact list. Govt-issued laptop not connecting to the system. At this point I should have walked.
Week 4: I needed the style guide for written materials. "The what?"
Week 5: "My laptop is still not connecting to the system." "Oh, that's because your home internet is too slow." "OK, what speed do I need?" "I don't know."
Week 6: "Why haven't you signed the form to authorise you to drive the office car?" It was the first I'd heard of this car, or the form.
Week 9: "Why don't you have your regulation safety equipment?" It was the first I'd heard of this equipment. The relevant staff were on indefinite sick leave, so I ended up buying my own.
Week 12: Realised the laptop couldn't connect because it had obsolete software, so shut off the software. Boss admitted she knew about the dead software but was furious anyway.
Week 13: "Why haven't you signed the form to authorise you to drive the project team car?" As per week 6, it was the first I'd heard of this car, or the form.

By the four-month mark I'd taught myself the job (which was not a brand-new role). But I was fed up with the inefficiency and disingenuous attitude, so quit and reported the manager for negligence.

Or a Hall of Fame.

You are not BU for having had a rubbish time, but I can raise you to having no one to meet me (and I mean no one) on Day 1 so wondered if I had imagined the role. I eventually had a meeting with one of my "new" colleagues at 4pm on Day 1 who spent (I kid you not) 2 hours telling me she should have had my job and asking to see my CV. It took another two weeks for my boss to meet with me, at which point I was told I needed to bring in £2m of income over the next 6 months (still not met the team at this point). Week 3 my laptop arrived, and had met the rest of the team who were lovely. The "odd" colleague was still an issue, refusing to meet or contribute to management of the team which was in their job description.

Week 4 (now with laptop) spent time looking at the accounts and realised everything I had been told about the finance, income generation and underpinning business model was rubbish. Week 5 was job hunting as business clearly not financially viable. Week 8 had a new role lined up. Boss was lovely but had zero experience. And in the 2020s taking 4 weeks to get a functioning laptop pretty much says it all 😆

That’s quite frankly bollocks.

Hope that’s not too wanky a word for you.