Aibu to suggest alternative books to 12 year old DD when she asks to read something I believe is unsuitable for her age?

Yes I loved it so much.
Also forever by Judy Blume

I read Lace when I was about her age!

My school library stocked the full collection of Jilly Cooper books in the late 80s. They then had a refresh and sold loads of books, so I bought the entire collection for 20p a book. I would have been 12!

17+ for acotar?

I dread to think what age the AI would put on some other staples of teenage reading (and indeed some gcse set texts - I distinctly remember my daughter at age 16 learning by heart several love poems including one about having sex with a corpse and this was for gcse!)

When I was about 9 I started having awful nightmares about Freddie Krueger, I hadn’t seen the film or anything, but my older siblings had told me all about it. My dad gave me a paperback copy of Nightmare on Elm Street and told me once I’d read it, he was sure I wouldn’t be scared any more. He was right. It was so bad it was laughable.

Books aren’t like other forms of media. I don’t think they need to be censored beyond a child’s actual capacity to read them.

Suggestions:

poison study by Maria V Snyder
the Grisha series (can’t remember author)
eragon series by Christopher Paolini

I would allow nearly anything in print - things which would be way too much in audio or movie.

When reading, human brain can decide how graphically it visualises things and can easily zone out a bit and create an acceptable version.

I've read a very dark book about local witch trials as a young teen (found at grandpa's library). It included some medieval torture, and I felt it was rather bad, but readable.
I than read the book again as adult. It felt soooo much worse! The medieval torture was the least bad part. Misogyny of the main villain(which was a big part of the motive) just went completely over my head the first time.

She's 12. I was reading anything I wanted to at that age. You can't be encouraging kids to read any kids books they like, the older the reading group age the better, and then when they're on the cusp of being a teenager suddenly set limits. Libraries gave us power.

Telly and films need ratings, of course. Books rely on one's own input, understanding, and experience to create visuals in one's head. If she gets it, she's old enough to read it.

Let her read her book/plot/characters/smut in peace.

At 12 I was reading Twins at St Clare’s / Malory Towers alongside my Nans Mills n Boon and my Mum’s Jimmy Coopers/Lace

40 years later in 2026 and as an ex teacher I would say any reading is good reading c

I distinctly remember reading Jilly Cooper at 11/12, even (and especially) the ones my mother told me I couldn't and had tried to hide. I haven't read ACOTAR yet, but I think if 'everyone else is allowed to!' it'll be very hard for your DD when she can't join in the chat.

Indeed. The worst things my daughter has seen are on friend’s devices. The funniest one was when she came home from a sleepover with a ‘lot’ of questions. Turns out when you google ‘pony girl’ on your laptop you do not find videos of girls and ponies.

I wouldn't say they're "suitable" for a 12 year old, but I hate the idea of restricting what a child can read, and unless she's very sensitive I doubt they'd do any harm. The first book is relatively tame, by the time you get to the most recent one there's much more explicit sex and sexual language. But the themes are not that "adult" IMO, it's really only the sex that takes it out of the young adult category. Also as far as I recall it's very centered on female pleasure, most of the sex, while explicit and sometimes kinky, is in the context of loving relationships.

I didn’t censor books for my children after primary school really, and only in very extreme cases before that (such as the time my 5yo brought home a book about the Holocaust, complete with photographs of piles of corpses). Both of mine read The Boy In the Striped Pyjamas in their book club in Y3, under the direction of the English teacher. We had a lot of conversations about what they read, but I didn’t take anything away if they were capable of reading it. Neither of them seemed any the worse for it. I was much more upset to learn that one of my kids was shown an ISIS beheading video on another child’s phone when they were 10.

Throne of Glass would be good. ACOTAR is fairy porn. TOG have themes of darkness but no more than The Hunger Games and Divergent

how old is she?

I don’t think they’re suitable for a 12 year old, and Google AI agrees:

I just remembered those books! I read them all. I didn’t even grow up here in the uk so it was an international phenomenon 😂

I was reading everything from Flowers in the Attic to Martin Amis A Clockwork Orange at that age. I say let her at it.

Agree, this thread immediately made me think of Flowers in the Attic. A national craze for 12 yr olds to be reading about siblings locked out of the sun and having sex with each other. ACOTAR is way better than this.

OP the vast majority of it will go over her head, just ignore.

To add to this growing up I was literally obsessed with Mills and Boon books from about 12-14…. Still haven’t discovered my brooding cowboy yet and I’ve padded my way barefoot over many a kitchen!

I’ve read that series and have a 12 year old daughter who I would let read the book. I don’t believe in censorship.

There’s a really good website called common sense media I use for films and books I haven’t read, it gives you a brief overview of which books might be too much, or if a film is a 15 rating, which parts might you need to be aware of etc. ACOTAR is quite raunchy later on in the series and just generally a bit meh.
I absolutely love this genre (YA dystopian fiction) and some fantastic series are:

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
Gone by Michael Gant (little bit dark but I think she’d really enjoy it)
The Selection by Keira Cass
Graceling by Kristin Cashore
Legend by Marie Lu
The Magicians Guild by Trudi Canavan
The Knife of never letting go by Patrick Ness
His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman
Delirium by Lauren Oliver
The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
And then obvs Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit by Tolkien

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief and Artemis Fowl I also loved in my early teens

these are just the first books in some (very) long series in some cases!

I think YABU to not let your daughter read what she wants if I’m honest. I don’t know much about Sarah J Maas so I can’t comment on those books, but although A Good Girls Guide to Murder deals with difficult issues it is meant for young adults.

I think books are actually a very good way for young people to learn about the world in general, including about disturbing topics like SA and murder.

My DD asked for these for her birthday. I was just wrapping them and DH opened one of the Elsie Silver books. After he nearly fell off the chair I had a look at both. Needles to say it’ll be 4 years before she gets them

I was reading Jilly Cooper at that age. Looking back, my mother was clearly very lax 😂

Throne of Glass is YA and probably suitable. It's Sarah J Maas so may appease her, and any sex happens behind closed doors so to speak. GGGTM isn't explicit sex wise from what I remember, but does discuss inappropriate relationships and sexual assault so you might want to wait a year or so. A Language of Dragons is YA fantasy too, and I enjoyed that as an adult so might work for her.