Aibu to suggest alternative books to 12 year old DD when she asks to read something I believe is unsuitable for her age?

@Thechaseison71 and me, especially after reading about 'cursed' copies of the book! Still on my book shelf though. Hard as nails me, or so I thought before I read the extract up thread with descriptions about excessive ejaculations and enjoying getting bruised. 😂I've only read the first of the ACOTAR

For OP. Recent fantasy I have enjoyed Priory of the Orange Tree series (see username) and Faebound which I thought better written than ACOTAR and while not classed as YA the relationships I think were a little more healthy.

Most of the 'romantasy' i have read seems to have too much alpha-male for my liking, which I would prefer my children were not exposed to as an ideal while they are still learning about adult relationships.

All of them, even the Roman series? And the Apollo ones? The Kane Chronicles are good too, but not quite in the same league as the Greek/Roman stuff.

Depends a bit on what your DD is like.

Mine skimmed past things she didn't want to read (fine with violence, doesn't like intimacy). I tried to redirect my DC if I thought something was too mature, but I didn't try very hard, because I read all sorts at that age and, although some of it was a bit eye-opening, I don't think it was as scary as films or the news. I always found it really stressful hearing about children who had gone missing in real life, but wasn't so bothered by murders etc in books.

DD's school library refused to let her borrow something she wanted to read, so she might not be able to just borrow from there anyway. Mine has been quite a reluctant reader until recently (now 14) so I am also lenient on the grounds that I'd prefer her to get into reading than further reduce the reading.

My DS read all the Percy Jackson books and also really enjoyed the Redwall series at that age.

Other favourites were Charlie Higson's 'The Enemy's series, Philip Reeve's 'Mortal Engines', John Marsden's 'Tomortoe, when the world began'.

DD currently reading a series by Tahereh Mafi, which was recommended by a friend.

When she first wanted Good Girl's Guide to Murder, and I thought she wasn't ready, I got some good suggestions for alternatives from our local Waterstones.

Now that dd disturb me, never have liked horrors.

I still haven't, while everyone else was reading forever I had a smuggled copy of The Amityville Horror in my bag. - that was the big read in my school

I don't know ANY girl of my age range who hadn't read " forever"

Yeah I read it at about 11 or 12 as well. Bought a copy from a jumble sale

Start her on the Percy Jackson books. Both my children read them at her age, and still re-read them now as adults, and the series on Disney is brilliant.

Cassian is Illyrian. A type of winged male solider.

He is brilliant. Nesta is fae so bruises heal quixkly

Dare I ask what he is???

Yeah at that age I was sneakily reading Flowers in the Attic and Lace. I don’t think it’s caused me any long term damage

ACOTAR is very adult. Lots of smut and sexual scenes.

try getting her Throne of Glass instead. It’s the same author, Sarah J Maas but it’s a lot less sexual whilst still having the amazing content

ACOTAR is sooo badly written

Bluntly, if she likes Sarah J Maas (based on the prose and characterisation of the extract someone pasted in earlier), it's highly unlikely she will go for Tolkien.

Four pages into a thread about a 12yo girl that's into fantasy, and no-one has suggested The Lord of the Rings yet (assuming she's not read it yet)? It'll do wonders for her vocabulary, possibly trigger a phase of writing highly derivative metrical poetry about magical swords and horses, and give a foundation for understanding many of the tropes of the genre.

She should give it a go as part of wider fantasy reading, but compare it to writers like Ursula LeGuin, or the women in Wheel of Time. She'll probably find more interesting books quite swiftly.

Also has she read any Greek mythology? It's a nice base to learn where a lot of fantasy comes from. You'll see the Odyssey recycled over and over. Plenty of versions/translations available.

I would disagree. I would say that your description is Throne of Glass. ACOTAR is very heavily romance-driven. The romantic relationships are a focal point of the books, not subplots. ToG they are definitely much more like subplots.

As someone who didn't have literate parents, and who had read her way through the children's library so that she was allowed to borrow from the adult library far earlier than normal (and from talking to friends with similar experiences of reading a wide range of adult books from very young), the stuff that stayed with me in a way that I think was definitely damaging was not actually violent or disturbing or graphic content, but the casual misogyny of well-regarded male literary writers like John Updike, Kingsley Amis, Martin Amis, John Fowles etc.

When you read incredibly beautifully- and -convincingly-written portraits of women viewed from a perspective that views half the human race as comic grotesques purely by virtue of possessing a vagina, and are 12 or 14 and without feminist perpsectives in my immediate environment (or indeed many books by women), it's hard not to think 'That must be who I am.'

She'll learn about it one day. let her read it

I don't understand why people think it's ok to let children read anything they want. I appreciate that many children have a reading ability beyond their age, but to say ANYTHING is ok just seems strange to me. I say this as someone who has always been an avid reader. I think sometimes that reading is seen as such a worthy pursuit compared to, say, playing video games or watching TV/films, that all concerns about reading something potentially very disturbing, fly out the window. Even as an adult, I have read books which left me feeling traumatised. I'm sure we all have. As adults, we can process that response and rationalise it, but a 12 year old, more than likely, will not be emotionally mature enough to do this and may be left dealing with feelings of trauma they can't express aloud. Some of the graphic descriptions of fear, physical and mental pain, torture, sadism, cruelty and sexual activity are definitely not something I would have wanted any 12 year old of mine reading. Just because it's written in a book, even though it's well written, doesn't mean it's ok for young readers.

This probably isn’t helpful but at least she’s talking to you about it.

Back in the day I remember copies of various bonkbusters doing the rounds at school when I was her age. We just weren’t silly enough to tell our parents about them

I didn’t say they are all watching porn, but some of them are. Depending on what stats you look at, up to half of children have been exposed to porn by the age of 13. It may be sad, but it’s the real world, I’m afraid. And it depends on the child, but many 12 year olds are going through puberty and with that comes all the hormone stuff. Perfectly normal. By all means suggest reading to them based on their individual interests, but I personally don’t find censoring books to be a great way to deal with teens and pre-teens.