Aibu to suggest alternative books to 12 year old DD when she asks to read something I believe is unsuitable for her age?

Like many others, I read Flowers in the Attic at about her age, and various Jilly Coopers 😂 I was also reading Clive Cussler and Wilbur Smith (historical fiction / adventure / crime, lots of harrowing descriptions of thing like rabies, gangrene etc), and Tess Gerritsen (crime / thrillers, lots of details of crime scenes / autopsies). My parents didn’t really censor books, definitely not once I was in high school; looking back I think that was a good thing, but you know your daughter best.

For YA fantasy I can recommend Tamora Pierce, she wrote multiple series, typically 4 books each, set in a fictional universe called Tortall. Lots of magic and peril, a strong feminist female protagonist, and a gentle intro to lust / love / sex without ‘too much’ detail (probably a lot less than she already knows!). I loved those books, and so did my Aunt who read them alongside me (and she’d have been in her 50s at the time!). I might have to read them again!

There is a lot of YA fantasy which would be much more appropriate for her. I would recommend Sabriel by Garth Nix, it’s the start of a series and is really really good.

@Trivium4all i was post 17 and definitely mentioned LOTR. I’ve reread the whole series so many times and just nothing compares

I quite like a bit of Pratchett too though so I am a bit rogue 😆

I had to wait until the end of Y8 to get my hands on Forever. Such a let down. Let's face it, it was never going to compete with Riders.

To people referencing "Forever", yes the sex in that is explicit in so much as it's described what's actually happening and what the body parts are, and it touches on how it feels, though it's all extremely basic and vanilla and in the context of a teen's first sexual relationship. But it's nothing like the way sex is written in the later books of ACOTAR, which is erotica and has a very different level of explicitness and detail.

I love both ACOTAR and LotR, albeit in very different ways.

OP some other good fantasy series for YA:

• Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis (The concept is like Passengers, if you've seen that film, but with teens)
• Northern Lights trilogy by Philip Pullman (great heroine and world building)

Acotar definitely not suitable. Throne of glass by same author would be a better choice but still has on page sex in books 5 and 6 iirc.
A good girls guide to murder i can't see issue with.. but it has been a while since I read it.

Could you read the books and see if youre happy with them for your child?

Honestly OP let her off. At that age we were passing all sorts around the class. My DD is similar and I did get a raised eyebrow in a bookshop a few years ago

Fair enough, different strokes for different folks, although to me, it seems we read different books! Someone else mentioned Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time, though the completion by Brandon Sanderson also very much divides opinions. Some people also find that WoT spends rather too much time on character (and dresses!), so I guess it depends on if she likes that sort of detail, and has the patience for a large number of very fat books...but RJ was an amazing world-builder (as was Tolkien, of course), and given the current Prime series, the books might be interesting for her. I'm irritated by the inconsistencies e.g. re. incoherent magic systems in some of the recent fantasy I've read, and that would have bothered me at 12, as well. At that age, I was trying out all sorts of subgenres, though, and just because the girl in question is reading specific authors now, doesn't mean that she won't develop an interest in very different ones if she has a chance to find out about them.

I think it’s fine for you to make that decision for your 12-year-old, but not all 12-year-olds are the same and I think parents can decide for themselves what their child can read. ‘Not suitable for young readers’ is very subjective and depends on a million different variables. Some kids will be freaked out or uncomfortable with certain content at 12; others won’t. Some will feel able to tell their parents if they’re bothered by something; some won’t. Some will think more critically than others.

For me, letting me have free rein with my reading from around 10-11 onwards was truthfully one of the best things my parents ever did for me. It benefited me so, so much and I’m incredibly grateful to them for it. I’m not saying it would be right for every child but it was right for me.

You could get her started on Terry Pratchett's Discworld books.

I’m that age group. It was utter filth back in the day.

Well I was reading my brothers Mayfair porn magazines at 11 but that doesn’t mean cool with my DD14 doing the same. My DD was a VERY reluctant reader but the series that has for her into it is the Fourth Wing trilogy. Recommended by the BFF because obviously anything I recommend must be shit. I think there’s plenty of other options before ACOTAR so I might ask her to defer that for another year if she asks.

He’s from a race of fae people called Illyrians. He has wings, similar to bat wings. His partner, Nesta, is ‘high fae’ which is a different race to him. They’re both a lot stronger, faster and quicker to heal than human beings and they don’t age like humans either. They’re both warriors.

My mind still boggles about the goldfish! And the pouring of champagne in there! (What a waste & a health hazard) 🤣

As other have said, I was reading stuff like Flowers in the Attic, Lace, Riders at that age. I’d read Ellery Queen, Agatha Christie, Dennis Wheatley, Dick Francis and all manner of things with ‘adult themes’.

As long as you are confident your DD will ask about anything she finds troublesome then I’d be OK with her reading pretty much anything. Better you know than she does it in secret.

I’m into fantasy and I find The Lord Of The Rings incredibly dull, po-faced and plodding with very little character development. Obviously it was an incredible piece of work in terms of creating a genre and setting a blueprint for fantasy tropes, and it was a remarkable achievement, but that doesn’t mean everyone who is into fantasy is going to enjoy it.

Obviously it’s completely down to personal taste, but there is a vast range of fantasy out there and for me, Tolkien always felt very worthy and sensible, which isn’t what I’m looking for from fantasy fiction - and even less so when I was 12 - so it really doesn’t automatically follow that it would be a good suggestion in this case.

I would be concerned about a 12yo reading the ACOTAR series tbh. They contain very explicit sex scenes detailing everything. No I don’t think you’re being unreasonable suggesting more age appropriate alternatives till she’s older

I think it was Shirley Conran where there was a very different kettle of fish!

If she likes Percy Jackson and Philip Reeves she might also like graphic books by illustrators such as Chris Riddell or the Bone books.

If she likes that type of fantasy but hasn’t worked through the Pullmans then try her on Jodi Taylor’s St Marys series, Ben Aaronovitch’s Rivers of London series or Pratchett’s Johnny and the Bomb series as well. Pratchett’s Discworld books are popular with young adult readers (some of the themes will go over her head) but start a few books in, not with the first two. Samantha Shannon (YA fantasy) is also popular in this age group with good female protagonists.

I resisted the urge to say “no” to books but I did occasionally say “sure although I’m not sure if it will be your thing” and I frequently made positive suggestions. We did also all talk about the books we were reading at home and make recommendations to each other (all of us, not just the DC).

Readers of this age will pick up “unsuitable books”. Talking about them is more effective than trying to ban them.

I don’t see the benefits in censoring reading for kids. If they’re keen to read it then they’re ready or they’re going to flip over the bits their brains are ready to absorb. Anything the don’t get they’re going to find boring and out the book down

Yes! I read all of these when I was about 9. I also remember watching Nightmare on Elm Street at 11. Parents were clearly more hands off in the 1980s.

I think kids generally aren't interested to read books that are wrong for them. If it is scary or weird to them, they don't persist. I tried to read 'lolita' a few years ago and didn't get very far. Keep the conversation open so if she has questions, you can answer them.

I think if your kid gets their sex ed from Judy Blume, you've kicked a goal. I read Jackie Collins too as a tween and that was a different kettle of fish but educational in many ways. We didn't have the internet and only 3 TV channels so read lots I suppose.

I haven't read the full thread, but has she tried Cassandra Clare's books? Shadowhunters chronicles - start with City of Bones. Similar style to ACOTAR but they are aimed at teenagers so the raunch is toned down!

Otherwise I loved Tamora Pierce at her age, and the Percy Jackson books are good too.

I went for the audio book so I can listen in the car. It's A Deadly Education.will move on to written books if I like it.

I read a lot of romance and read it at that age too. I would council against a 12 year old reading that, and the library at the school I teach at wouldn't lend it to KS3 students. I would try not to ban a book because I remember reading a book with a rape in at about 14 and being very disturbed by it, but feeling like my mum would have told me I shouldn't have read it so I couldn't tell her.

Tamora Pierce is great fantasy for that age. I loved them! A couple have closed door sex scenes/allusions to sex, but fine for 12. The 'Circle' ones are for slightly younger readers and don't have any of that.